“Not really,” Travis said, his throat sounding tight with emotion. “I wanted to, but she’s so worn-out and sad, and I’m the bastard who did that to her.”
Janica reached over and patted Travis’s hand. “It’ll be all right,” she said, and this time Luke wasn’t the only one shocked to the core by the direction of her sympathies. “I think you just need to give her some time,” she said, unfolding herself from the couch. “What room is she in? I think I’ll go see how she’s doing.”
“Room 305.”
As soon as Janica disappeared up the stairs, Luke sat down across from Travis. The two brothers sat in silence, until Travis broke it with, “I really messed up this time, didn’t I?”
Luke started to nod, but then stopped himself at the last second. After all, hadn’t he been the one who told Lily to rip Travis to shreds? Luke hated to see his brother in pain, and guilt overwhelmed him. A week ago at the Fog City Diner he’d been giving Lily his brilliant advice on how to play Travis like a fiddle. But he had underestimated both his best friend and his brother.
And look where it had gotten the two of them: married and suffering.
Luke didn’t like himself very much all of a sudden. And here I always thought I was the nice brother.
Travis was waiting for Luke’s response, so without either agreeing or disagreeing with the question of how much of a screwup his twin was, Luke said, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Travis pushed his palms into his eye sockets. “No,” he said. “Yes. I don’t even know where to start. I mean, I’ve been horrible to Lily since the very beginning, since we were kids… but now, this…”
Luke swallowed past the lump in this throat. He’d never seen his brother in pain like this. “You really are afraid of losing her, aren’t you?” Luke didn’t mean for there to be such disbelief in his words.
Travis glared at his brother. “You don’t think very much of Lily, do you?” His words held the promise of danger.
“Trav, no, it’s not that. Lily’s amazing. I—”
Travis cut Luke off. “Here I thought you were her best friend all these years, but now I’m finding out that you don’t know her at all. Lily is the most incredible person I have ever met. There’s nothing about her that I don’t love.” Luke’s eyes widened at the word love. Every muscle in Travis’s body readied for attack. “What? You’re surprised that I’m in love with Lily?” Travis laughed, but it was an ugly sound.
“You should have expected that. After all, who wouldn’t be in love with her? It’s me who doesn’t deserve to be loved.”
Luke tried to reply, but Travis wasn’t finished yet. “That’s right. I’m a sorry excuse for a human being, and if Lily never wants to see me again, I’d understand it. What the hell can I give her? Lessons in selfishness?”
Luke couldn’t watch Travis rage at himself any longer. “Yeah, you’ve been selfish and arrogant and condescending more times than I can count,” he said. Travis deflated like a pinpricked balloon at his words, sinking into the sofa, looking smaller that Luke had ever seen him. “You’ve done some things that I can’t condone. And you’ve treated a lot of woman like dirt over the years.”
“Don’t let me stop you now that you’re on a roll,” Travis said dryly.
Luke slid over next to Travis on the couch. “Look. You’ve finally faced up to who you’ve been all these years.”
“I’ve been the worst to Lily,” Travis said into his chest, his neck slumped down like a drunk.
Luke nodded. “I know you have. But what I’m trying to say, Trav, is that it’s not too late to change. It’s never too late to change.”
Travis looked up from his chest. “You’re not just blowing smoke, are you?”
Luke laughed. “Trust me, the last thing I’d do is build you back up if you didn’t deserve it. But you do, Trav. Look at how you’ve already changed since you and Lily connected. You’ve got something to fight for now, someone who’s more important than your pride or ego or even how much you might hate yourself right now.”
A glimmer of the old Travis poked through. “Hate’s a pretty strong word, don’t you think?”
Luke laughed, and said, “Gotta call ‘em like I see ‘em.” Sobering, he said, “Now the question is, what are you going to do to win Lily back?”
Travis looked up at the frescoed ceiling. “What if there’s nothing I can do? What if she doesn’t love me anymore?”
Luke gave his brother a rare and spontaneous hug. “That’s not how love works, Trav. But it’s up to you now to prove that to her.” A little uncomfortable with all the sharing they were doing, Luke got back to the nitty-gritty details. “Got a place to sleep tonight?” Travis shook his head, and Luke said, “Didn’t think so. Why don’t you crash with me and Janica? She sweet-talked an old lady in town into letting us use a guest room.”
“Thanks, but I’d rather stay here.”
“Just in case she comes down?”
Travis nodded and looked bleak. “Just in case.”
Someone knocked on the door and Lily groaned. “Go away,” she said, hoping Travis hadn’t come back to talk to her again. She couldn’t deal with him tonight, but she didn’t know if she had the strength to send him away a second time. The knock came again, and this time Janica said, “Lils, it’s me. Let me in.”
Lily climbed out of bed and slipped on a silky robe, then padded over to the heavy wooden door and opened it an inch.
Janica stood in the hall, looking unsure of herself. “Hi.”
Out of the blue, Lily was overwhelmed with love for her sister. “Come here.” She opened the door wide and wrapped her arms around Janica’s slender frame. “I love you,” she said, and Janica said, “I love you too.”
Lily felt tears well up in her eyes so she let go of Janica and turned around. “Isn’t this room amazing?” she said with forced gaiety.
Janica made a perfunctory glance around the room, which wasn’t like her at all. “Yeah, it’s great,” she said dismissively. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
Lily was so touched her bottom lip started to tremble. She sank down on the nearest couch in the living room.
Janica reached over and patted Travis’s hand. “It’ll be all right,” she said, and this time Luke wasn’t the only one shocked to the core by the direction of her sympathies. “I think you just need to give her some time,” she said, unfolding herself from the couch. “What room is she in? I think I’ll go see how she’s doing.”
“Room 305.”
As soon as Janica disappeared up the stairs, Luke sat down across from Travis. The two brothers sat in silence, until Travis broke it with, “I really messed up this time, didn’t I?”
Luke started to nod, but then stopped himself at the last second. After all, hadn’t he been the one who told Lily to rip Travis to shreds? Luke hated to see his brother in pain, and guilt overwhelmed him. A week ago at the Fog City Diner he’d been giving Lily his brilliant advice on how to play Travis like a fiddle. But he had underestimated both his best friend and his brother.
And look where it had gotten the two of them: married and suffering.
Luke didn’t like himself very much all of a sudden. And here I always thought I was the nice brother.
Travis was waiting for Luke’s response, so without either agreeing or disagreeing with the question of how much of a screwup his twin was, Luke said, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Travis pushed his palms into his eye sockets. “No,” he said. “Yes. I don’t even know where to start. I mean, I’ve been horrible to Lily since the very beginning, since we were kids… but now, this…”
Luke swallowed past the lump in this throat. He’d never seen his brother in pain like this. “You really are afraid of losing her, aren’t you?” Luke didn’t mean for there to be such disbelief in his words.
Travis glared at his brother. “You don’t think very much of Lily, do you?” His words held the promise of danger.
“Trav, no, it’s not that. Lily’s amazing. I—”
Travis cut Luke off. “Here I thought you were her best friend all these years, but now I’m finding out that you don’t know her at all. Lily is the most incredible person I have ever met. There’s nothing about her that I don’t love.” Luke’s eyes widened at the word love. Every muscle in Travis’s body readied for attack. “What? You’re surprised that I’m in love with Lily?” Travis laughed, but it was an ugly sound.
“You should have expected that. After all, who wouldn’t be in love with her? It’s me who doesn’t deserve to be loved.”
Luke tried to reply, but Travis wasn’t finished yet. “That’s right. I’m a sorry excuse for a human being, and if Lily never wants to see me again, I’d understand it. What the hell can I give her? Lessons in selfishness?”
Luke couldn’t watch Travis rage at himself any longer. “Yeah, you’ve been selfish and arrogant and condescending more times than I can count,” he said. Travis deflated like a pinpricked balloon at his words, sinking into the sofa, looking smaller that Luke had ever seen him. “You’ve done some things that I can’t condone. And you’ve treated a lot of woman like dirt over the years.”
“Don’t let me stop you now that you’re on a roll,” Travis said dryly.
Luke slid over next to Travis on the couch. “Look. You’ve finally faced up to who you’ve been all these years.”
“I’ve been the worst to Lily,” Travis said into his chest, his neck slumped down like a drunk.
Luke nodded. “I know you have. But what I’m trying to say, Trav, is that it’s not too late to change. It’s never too late to change.”
Travis looked up from his chest. “You’re not just blowing smoke, are you?”
Luke laughed. “Trust me, the last thing I’d do is build you back up if you didn’t deserve it. But you do, Trav. Look at how you’ve already changed since you and Lily connected. You’ve got something to fight for now, someone who’s more important than your pride or ego or even how much you might hate yourself right now.”
A glimmer of the old Travis poked through. “Hate’s a pretty strong word, don’t you think?”
Luke laughed, and said, “Gotta call ‘em like I see ‘em.” Sobering, he said, “Now the question is, what are you going to do to win Lily back?”
Travis looked up at the frescoed ceiling. “What if there’s nothing I can do? What if she doesn’t love me anymore?”
Luke gave his brother a rare and spontaneous hug. “That’s not how love works, Trav. But it’s up to you now to prove that to her.” A little uncomfortable with all the sharing they were doing, Luke got back to the nitty-gritty details. “Got a place to sleep tonight?” Travis shook his head, and Luke said, “Didn’t think so. Why don’t you crash with me and Janica? She sweet-talked an old lady in town into letting us use a guest room.”
“Thanks, but I’d rather stay here.”
“Just in case she comes down?”
Travis nodded and looked bleak. “Just in case.”
Someone knocked on the door and Lily groaned. “Go away,” she said, hoping Travis hadn’t come back to talk to her again. She couldn’t deal with him tonight, but she didn’t know if she had the strength to send him away a second time. The knock came again, and this time Janica said, “Lils, it’s me. Let me in.”
Lily climbed out of bed and slipped on a silky robe, then padded over to the heavy wooden door and opened it an inch.
Janica stood in the hall, looking unsure of herself. “Hi.”
Out of the blue, Lily was overwhelmed with love for her sister. “Come here.” She opened the door wide and wrapped her arms around Janica’s slender frame. “I love you,” she said, and Janica said, “I love you too.”
Lily felt tears well up in her eyes so she let go of Janica and turned around. “Isn’t this room amazing?” she said with forced gaiety.
Janica made a perfunctory glance around the room, which wasn’t like her at all. “Yeah, it’s great,” she said dismissively. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
Lily was so touched her bottom lip started to tremble. She sank down on the nearest couch in the living room.
