“Haley’s a little too self-sacrificing to think it through.” I want to keep Haley, but letting her go means she’ll have a future. I stand and head to the door though the pain emanating from my chest comes close to doubling me over.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” Rachel says.
“Nah, not stupid.” Just heartbreaking.
Chapter 63
Haley
At school, I stand under the overhang and watch the parking lot. My fingers flip through the pages of my book like shuffling cards in a deck. The motion and the crinkling sound of the pages soothe me. I couldn’t sleep last night as I contemplated the same question over and over again. Does West know?
Adrenaline kicks into my bloodstream when West’s SUV pulls into the lot. He’s early, which is good but also weird. A fine mist hangs in the air and the droplets sparkle on his car as he parks under a streetlight. I can’t see his face past the dark windows. I can’t see inside.
I close my eyes and inhale, trying to calm the terror in my veins. What if that’s all West has been? Pretty on the outside, but hiding on the inside. No. I swallow and open my eyes. West loves me. This is going to be okay.
West steps out of his SUV and my entire body rocks back. Nausea climbs up my throat and I turn my head, expecting the dry heave. Please let this be a mistake.
He’s sickeningly gorgeous as he walks toward me. A black tie hangs from his neck and it stands out against the crisp white button-down shirt. His black dress pants fit him like they were tailor-made and his golden hair is gelled into style. He’s poised and perfect and beautiful, but he’s not my West.
I honest to God pinch myself to check if I’m dreaming. What is in front of me has to be a figment of my fears—a nightmare. The prick of pain on my arm does not compare to the slicing at my heart.
West shoves his hands in his pockets when he stops a foot away from me.
We stare at each other—me like I’ve never seen him before. “Why are you dressed like that?”
“I’m going back to Worthington. In fact, I’m going back to everything.”
Everything? “What does that mean?”
West surveys the school building, the cars, the other students who turn their heads like owls in order to observe our showdown. “I don’t belong here. I never have. It’s time I stop acting like somebody I’m not and return to my world.”
A fresh surge of anger rushes through me; I’m pissed off at myself for loving him. “Spit it out.”
“Look, the suspension made me rethink everything. When I got home last night, I expected my dad to throw me out again and he didn’t. We talked and he got me back into Worthington and he convinced me that even though I returned, I hadn’t really been home. He’s right. I need to be home. It’s time for me to be a Young again. Haley, I loved you. I did, but we’ve run our course.”
“We’ve run our course?” I snap my mouth shut. A million thoughts collide in my mind... A thousand emotions. The urge is to ask him why, to convince him to stay, to ask if he ever really did love me, but the words that slip out are the ones that cause so much ripping pain that I actually sway as I say them. “I was just another girl.”
“No. Never.” He steps toward me and my arm flies out as a warning. West rocks on his feet and I lift my chin.
“Are you tapping out on me?”
It’s possible that pain softens his blue eyes, but I don’t think it is. It has to be pity. He used me and now he’s pitying me.
“Are you tapping out on me?” My muscles tighten with every word. I welcome the anger. I crave the anger because anger is a hell of a lot better than hurt. “Are you walking away from me and the fight?”
He nods and glances away. My eyes burn with tears. I’m stupid. So, so stupid. “Did you know who I was? Did you know your father is the reason why we lost everything?”
West barely looks me in the eye and the answer is so quiet I almost miss it. “Yes.”
I roll with the impact of his words as if it were a physical punch, but, like I’ve been taught, I rebound and step into his space. Tilting my head, I give him no room to focus on anything but me. “I wouldn’t have cared if you told me, but this...”
I flip his tie before I press both of my hands against his chest and push. West staggers back and it’s not because of my strength, but it’s because he gives. “This I can’t forgive. Guess I wasn’t worth fighting for.”
Not allowing him a chance to reply, I pivot and disappear into a swarm of students unloading off the buses. My lower lip trembles and I fight the tears. I walk fast into the school and as the first hot tear cascades down my face I race into the nearest bathroom.
Girls chatter and talk and I ignore them as I duck into the last stall. With the door slammed shut behind me, I slide down the wall and feel as if the ground beneath me is collapsing into a black hole. I suck in air, but none goes into my lungs and then I hold my breath to halt the sob, but it comes regardless—racking my body as if I’m having convulsions.
I’ve lost it all... My home, my family, my hope, West. There’s no place left to go. No more backup plans... There’s no more fight.
Chapter 64
West
I changed into jeans and a T-shirt before driving to the bar. The private-school dress code would get my ass handed to me by a mob of angry laid-off union workers. Though getting the shit kicked out of me by a mob doesn’t sound like a bad idea. It could possibly hurt less than the memory of breaking not only my heart, but the heart of the only girl I’ve ever loved: Haley.
A few guys play poker at a table in the corner. It’s sad I’ve grown fond of the sour stench of spilled beer. Like always, Denny hovers over a laptop near the end of the bar. “You’re late.”
Worthington starts an hour later than public schools. I glance around. It kills me how much pride I’ve got in the dump. The tables and chairs I fixed, the mounting of the speakers, the woodwork along the bar. I finally found something I’m talented at and it all goes down the drain.
I suck in air to keep my fists from closing. I’m not reacting anymore. I’m thinking and I’m giving Haley what she needs. “Thanks for the opportunity, but I’m quitting.”
My boss’s muscles ripple as he straightens. Denny’s the most peculiar person I’ve met: a big-ass man who feeds a stray drug dealer and gives a job to a throwaway. “You crawled back to Daddy after all. I thought you had grown a f**king pair of balls.”
“Don’t do anything stupid,” Rachel says.
“Nah, not stupid.” Just heartbreaking.
Chapter 63
Haley
At school, I stand under the overhang and watch the parking lot. My fingers flip through the pages of my book like shuffling cards in a deck. The motion and the crinkling sound of the pages soothe me. I couldn’t sleep last night as I contemplated the same question over and over again. Does West know?
Adrenaline kicks into my bloodstream when West’s SUV pulls into the lot. He’s early, which is good but also weird. A fine mist hangs in the air and the droplets sparkle on his car as he parks under a streetlight. I can’t see his face past the dark windows. I can’t see inside.
I close my eyes and inhale, trying to calm the terror in my veins. What if that’s all West has been? Pretty on the outside, but hiding on the inside. No. I swallow and open my eyes. West loves me. This is going to be okay.
West steps out of his SUV and my entire body rocks back. Nausea climbs up my throat and I turn my head, expecting the dry heave. Please let this be a mistake.
He’s sickeningly gorgeous as he walks toward me. A black tie hangs from his neck and it stands out against the crisp white button-down shirt. His black dress pants fit him like they were tailor-made and his golden hair is gelled into style. He’s poised and perfect and beautiful, but he’s not my West.
I honest to God pinch myself to check if I’m dreaming. What is in front of me has to be a figment of my fears—a nightmare. The prick of pain on my arm does not compare to the slicing at my heart.
West shoves his hands in his pockets when he stops a foot away from me.
We stare at each other—me like I’ve never seen him before. “Why are you dressed like that?”
“I’m going back to Worthington. In fact, I’m going back to everything.”
Everything? “What does that mean?”
West surveys the school building, the cars, the other students who turn their heads like owls in order to observe our showdown. “I don’t belong here. I never have. It’s time I stop acting like somebody I’m not and return to my world.”
A fresh surge of anger rushes through me; I’m pissed off at myself for loving him. “Spit it out.”
“Look, the suspension made me rethink everything. When I got home last night, I expected my dad to throw me out again and he didn’t. We talked and he got me back into Worthington and he convinced me that even though I returned, I hadn’t really been home. He’s right. I need to be home. It’s time for me to be a Young again. Haley, I loved you. I did, but we’ve run our course.”
“We’ve run our course?” I snap my mouth shut. A million thoughts collide in my mind... A thousand emotions. The urge is to ask him why, to convince him to stay, to ask if he ever really did love me, but the words that slip out are the ones that cause so much ripping pain that I actually sway as I say them. “I was just another girl.”
“No. Never.” He steps toward me and my arm flies out as a warning. West rocks on his feet and I lift my chin.
“Are you tapping out on me?”
It’s possible that pain softens his blue eyes, but I don’t think it is. It has to be pity. He used me and now he’s pitying me.
“Are you tapping out on me?” My muscles tighten with every word. I welcome the anger. I crave the anger because anger is a hell of a lot better than hurt. “Are you walking away from me and the fight?”
He nods and glances away. My eyes burn with tears. I’m stupid. So, so stupid. “Did you know who I was? Did you know your father is the reason why we lost everything?”
West barely looks me in the eye and the answer is so quiet I almost miss it. “Yes.”
I roll with the impact of his words as if it were a physical punch, but, like I’ve been taught, I rebound and step into his space. Tilting my head, I give him no room to focus on anything but me. “I wouldn’t have cared if you told me, but this...”
I flip his tie before I press both of my hands against his chest and push. West staggers back and it’s not because of my strength, but it’s because he gives. “This I can’t forgive. Guess I wasn’t worth fighting for.”
Not allowing him a chance to reply, I pivot and disappear into a swarm of students unloading off the buses. My lower lip trembles and I fight the tears. I walk fast into the school and as the first hot tear cascades down my face I race into the nearest bathroom.
Girls chatter and talk and I ignore them as I duck into the last stall. With the door slammed shut behind me, I slide down the wall and feel as if the ground beneath me is collapsing into a black hole. I suck in air, but none goes into my lungs and then I hold my breath to halt the sob, but it comes regardless—racking my body as if I’m having convulsions.
I’ve lost it all... My home, my family, my hope, West. There’s no place left to go. No more backup plans... There’s no more fight.
Chapter 64
West
I changed into jeans and a T-shirt before driving to the bar. The private-school dress code would get my ass handed to me by a mob of angry laid-off union workers. Though getting the shit kicked out of me by a mob doesn’t sound like a bad idea. It could possibly hurt less than the memory of breaking not only my heart, but the heart of the only girl I’ve ever loved: Haley.
A few guys play poker at a table in the corner. It’s sad I’ve grown fond of the sour stench of spilled beer. Like always, Denny hovers over a laptop near the end of the bar. “You’re late.”
Worthington starts an hour later than public schools. I glance around. It kills me how much pride I’ve got in the dump. The tables and chairs I fixed, the mounting of the speakers, the woodwork along the bar. I finally found something I’m talented at and it all goes down the drain.
I suck in air to keep my fists from closing. I’m not reacting anymore. I’m thinking and I’m giving Haley what she needs. “Thanks for the opportunity, but I’m quitting.”
My boss’s muscles ripple as he straightens. Denny’s the most peculiar person I’ve met: a big-ass man who feeds a stray drug dealer and gives a job to a throwaway. “You crawled back to Daddy after all. I thought you had grown a f**king pair of balls.”
