Taking Chances
Page 91
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“For a lot of people, two months is too soon. But your situation is entirely different because of what happened between the three of you before. So that doesn't exactly apply to you and Brandon now. If you're worried about us Harper, don’t. We all want for you to be happy, and we agree Brandon makes you happy. We wouldn't have called him to help you out of your mourning if we were afraid you would eventually go back to him.
“If you want to do this on your own, then you should. But, if you want to be with him, don't miss your chance with him again. He's good for you, and though he has every right to be bitter about your baby, he already loves him more than we could ever hope a man in your life would.” She paused for a minute and leaned back in her chair, “I know what Chase thought of him, and I promise he would be happy with your choice. He knew Brandon could take care of, and love you, better than anyone. That's why he didn't interfere with your relationship for so long.”
We sat in silence a few minutes while I let that sink in. It's like she knew exactly what I needed to hear, to know the family wouldn't judge me, and most importantly, for someone to tell me Chase would want me to be happy and move on too. Claire leaned over and hugged me tight before speaking again, “I think the real question is, how did you feel after you kissed him?”
“Like I could finally breathe again.” I answered honestly. “I still love him Mom.”
“I know you do, sweetie.”
“Is that wrong?”
“Not at all, and it doesn't dismiss the love you had, and still have for Chase. I know how you've always felt about both of them. Tell me,” she switched directions, her face suddenly mischievous, “how was the kiss? He sure was up there longer than I thought he would be, seeing how he had to carry your sleeping butt up there.”
Heat flooded my cheeks and a wide smile quickly stretched across my face, “Amazing.” I said a little breathless, remembering his lips on mine and moving down my neck. Mom chuckled at my expression.
“Hmm...” Bree walked sluggishly in the kitchen with Konrad, “Mom's giggling, and Harper's blushing. I have to know what's going on here.” She hugged me and sat on Konrad's lap in the seat next to mine.
“Harper kissed Brandon last night.” Mom was leaning over the table like she was sharing some seriously juicy gossip.
“Well it's about damn time!” Bree said faking a little exasperation.
I looked at her stunned, “How can you even say that? It's only been two months Bree.”
Her face fell to a sympathetic smile, “I know, but you're only holding back because you're afraid of letting go of Chase's memory. Tell me friend, has anything changed in your heart? If Brandon asked you right now to marry him, what would you say?”
Yes. I didn’t even have to think about that or answer it for that matter, “But Bree –”
“Allowing yourself to be with Brandon isn't a bad thing. It's also not discarding what you had with Chase, and it's what he would want for you. We all do.”
That's exactly what Mom had been saying, I looked between the three of them, my eyes narrowing. “Have you guys been talking about this? Why am I just finding this all out?”
“Because you needed the time to heal enough to the point where you would know if you wanted to be with Brandon or not. We didn't want to push you either way by saying it was okay too early.” Mom said simply. “Sweetie, honestly, if you want to be with him you should. Don’t let anything stop you from loving him and letting him love you and your baby.”
“But I don’t know how to go about this. What would be okay in a relationship with him?”
“What do you mean?” Bree asked.
“I mean – I don’t know. This whole thing is just so weird and confusing. I already,” I looked at them quickly, my cheeks heating with shame, “um, I already think about him playing Dad for Gummy Bear. He’s so sweet with him and I find myself thinking how good of a father he would be. I’m afraid if I were to be with him again, I would just assume he would want to play that part and that isn’t fair to Brandon. Or what if he didn’t want that role at all? I can’t pressure him into even having to make that kind of a decision.”
“Kid,” Konrad snorted, “I’m sorry, but really? You really think all that?”
“No. But I feel like I’m taking advantage of him or something.”
“Okay, it’s painfully obvious to us that he would be there for you and GB in a heartbeat. But hearing you say that, it’s just so frustrating knowing that you two are doing this to each other. You sound just like Brandon.”
“What do you mean?”
“I love you Kid, but God you’re so dense sometimes. He freaking loves you. And I know you know that. But he’s terrified that he’s going to push you away with his feelings for you and GB. It doesn’t help that you keep telling him you guys can’t be together.” He momentarily took a hand off Bree’s thigh to stop me when my mouth opened, “I know why you say that, and he gets it too. But all of us are just waiting for the day when you guys finally acknowledge the fact that you can’t live without each other. So you’re sitting here telling us you’re afraid of pushing him into something you think he might not want to go into, or you think he shouldn’t have to. And when we go work out or surf, all he can talk about is wanting to take care of you and GB for the rest of your lives, but he’s worried that if he says anything you’ll shut him out for good. You know he told me he’d rather be your friend for the rest of his life than risk not being able to make sure you guys are happy and okay?”
“If you want to do this on your own, then you should. But, if you want to be with him, don't miss your chance with him again. He's good for you, and though he has every right to be bitter about your baby, he already loves him more than we could ever hope a man in your life would.” She paused for a minute and leaned back in her chair, “I know what Chase thought of him, and I promise he would be happy with your choice. He knew Brandon could take care of, and love you, better than anyone. That's why he didn't interfere with your relationship for so long.”
We sat in silence a few minutes while I let that sink in. It's like she knew exactly what I needed to hear, to know the family wouldn't judge me, and most importantly, for someone to tell me Chase would want me to be happy and move on too. Claire leaned over and hugged me tight before speaking again, “I think the real question is, how did you feel after you kissed him?”
“Like I could finally breathe again.” I answered honestly. “I still love him Mom.”
“I know you do, sweetie.”
“Is that wrong?”
“Not at all, and it doesn't dismiss the love you had, and still have for Chase. I know how you've always felt about both of them. Tell me,” she switched directions, her face suddenly mischievous, “how was the kiss? He sure was up there longer than I thought he would be, seeing how he had to carry your sleeping butt up there.”
Heat flooded my cheeks and a wide smile quickly stretched across my face, “Amazing.” I said a little breathless, remembering his lips on mine and moving down my neck. Mom chuckled at my expression.
“Hmm...” Bree walked sluggishly in the kitchen with Konrad, “Mom's giggling, and Harper's blushing. I have to know what's going on here.” She hugged me and sat on Konrad's lap in the seat next to mine.
“Harper kissed Brandon last night.” Mom was leaning over the table like she was sharing some seriously juicy gossip.
“Well it's about damn time!” Bree said faking a little exasperation.
I looked at her stunned, “How can you even say that? It's only been two months Bree.”
Her face fell to a sympathetic smile, “I know, but you're only holding back because you're afraid of letting go of Chase's memory. Tell me friend, has anything changed in your heart? If Brandon asked you right now to marry him, what would you say?”
Yes. I didn’t even have to think about that or answer it for that matter, “But Bree –”
“Allowing yourself to be with Brandon isn't a bad thing. It's also not discarding what you had with Chase, and it's what he would want for you. We all do.”
That's exactly what Mom had been saying, I looked between the three of them, my eyes narrowing. “Have you guys been talking about this? Why am I just finding this all out?”
“Because you needed the time to heal enough to the point where you would know if you wanted to be with Brandon or not. We didn't want to push you either way by saying it was okay too early.” Mom said simply. “Sweetie, honestly, if you want to be with him you should. Don’t let anything stop you from loving him and letting him love you and your baby.”
“But I don’t know how to go about this. What would be okay in a relationship with him?”
“What do you mean?” Bree asked.
“I mean – I don’t know. This whole thing is just so weird and confusing. I already,” I looked at them quickly, my cheeks heating with shame, “um, I already think about him playing Dad for Gummy Bear. He’s so sweet with him and I find myself thinking how good of a father he would be. I’m afraid if I were to be with him again, I would just assume he would want to play that part and that isn’t fair to Brandon. Or what if he didn’t want that role at all? I can’t pressure him into even having to make that kind of a decision.”
“Kid,” Konrad snorted, “I’m sorry, but really? You really think all that?”
“No. But I feel like I’m taking advantage of him or something.”
“Okay, it’s painfully obvious to us that he would be there for you and GB in a heartbeat. But hearing you say that, it’s just so frustrating knowing that you two are doing this to each other. You sound just like Brandon.”
“What do you mean?”
“I love you Kid, but God you’re so dense sometimes. He freaking loves you. And I know you know that. But he’s terrified that he’s going to push you away with his feelings for you and GB. It doesn’t help that you keep telling him you guys can’t be together.” He momentarily took a hand off Bree’s thigh to stop me when my mouth opened, “I know why you say that, and he gets it too. But all of us are just waiting for the day when you guys finally acknowledge the fact that you can’t live without each other. So you’re sitting here telling us you’re afraid of pushing him into something you think he might not want to go into, or you think he shouldn’t have to. And when we go work out or surf, all he can talk about is wanting to take care of you and GB for the rest of your lives, but he’s worried that if he says anything you’ll shut him out for good. You know he told me he’d rather be your friend for the rest of his life than risk not being able to make sure you guys are happy and okay?”
