Everyone just stared at her like she was the dumbest person on earth; she was starting to feel that she was, when Jodi finally spoke.
“So, let me get this straight,” she started as she cleared her throat. “You haven’t dated a man in what, how long has it been since dickhead?” she asked.
“Six years,” Harper answered before Elli could.
“Six years, and now that a man that you like and are attracted to wants to get under your shirt, you decide to freak out, run, and then not talk to him anymore because you are not what you think he wants.”
Elli just stood there. When she put it that way, Elli sounded dumb. Elli just shrugged as she said, “Yeah.”
“Has he said that you are not what he wants?” Trice asked.
“No, quite the opposite, really,” Elli answered.
“Okay, so explain to me why you don’t want to see him anymore?” Harper asked.
“Because I’m fat,” Elli said as she threw her arms up in the air.
“You’re not fat!” Everyone yelled at the same time.
“Yes, Elli, you are not a size two anymore, we get that, but honey, you were sick,” Trice explained.
“You have already lost a lot of what you gained. You’re at a healthy size, baby girl, stop,” Walter added.
“Let me tell you something, Elli.” Everyone’s heads turned towards Derrick, “I am your after friend; I came after the sickness hit, after Justin left, after the studio opened, but I’ve heard about before Elli, about how outspoken and crazy she was. Jodi told me about how Justin treated you when you got sick.”
Everyone just nodded. Justin was such a douche.
“But not every man is like him. This guy that you are talking to likes you, not before Elli.”
“But what happens when he sees me naked, or sees pictures of before Elli?” she asked sadly, “I can’t do another Justin, I can’t.”
“And no one is asking you to, but do you think he would do that? Have you talked to him about it?”
“No.”
“Okay, so how would you know?”
Everyone just nodded, grinning at Derrick, then Elli.
“You can’t stay hidden El. You’re so beautiful, so amazing, so funny. Don’t hide,” Jodi said.
“Yeah, because when he sees the real Elli, the carefree happy one, he’ll fall head over heels in 2.3 seconds,” Trice added.
“Elli, he really likes you. Jakob has even said so. Maybe he is tired of the Barbie dolls and wants something real,” Harper suggested, “You need to give him a chance, love like you’ve never been hurt before. You need to talk to him.”
“I don’t know.”
“Is he worth it, Elli?” Elli looked over at Derrick; he had his glass of wine in front of his mouth, a grin on his lips.
“It's early, I know, but people always know when something is worth it, so do you think he is?”
Elli thought for a moment. She missed him, she did. This was the longest they had ever gone without talking, but she was just so damn scared. She didn’t want to get hurt again; she didn’t want the rejection. In a way she was fine with her life; she had Adler, her friends, her nieces and nephews.
What else did she really need?
“I know that look, Elli. Your life could be a lot better, a lot happier. Don’t you still want kids of your own?” Harper asked.
Everyone nodded, and Elli caved.
She sat down; put her face in her hands. She did want kids, she did want a husband, a happily-ever-after. But could she get over her insecurities to try?
“He’s worth it, but I don’t know if I am.”
Chapter 8
The image of Elli running out of Shea’s apartment would be forever burned into his brain. The tears streaming down her face, the way she slammed her hands into the steering wheel as she cried. He knew she didn’t know he was watching, but he was. He wanted nothing more than to run down there and comfort her. Didn’t she know that he wasn’t mad, that he was fine without going further, that he just wanted to be with her? Why didn’t she understand that? What had he done wrong? Was he moving too fast? He didn’t know, he had never been in this situation, never been with the same woman more than once. He was lost.
He hadn’t talked to her in two days. He had sent her several text messages and she would answer that she was busy and would call when she had the chance, but hour after hour passed, and he never heard from her. Part of him wondered if this was her way of blowing him off, but part of him knew that wasn’t true. She was just embarrassed, or so he hoped.
Like always, when he was confused about something, he ended up at Grace’s. Grace was moving around the house, running her mouth as he sat with Amelia in his lap, playing kissy face with her, while Ryan shot pucks at the new net Shea had brought over with him.
“Unky, watch. I can shoot just as hard as you!” Ryan exclaimed as he swung his stick as hard as his little four year old body would let him. What surprised Shea was that he actually got the puck in the goal.
“Way to go, bud!” Shea exclaimed. “Cheer for Ryan, Amelia! Go, Ryan, Go!” Shea lifted Amelia’s arms in the air and she giggled as she bounced in his lap.
“I’m amazing, just like you, Unky. That’s what Momma says.”
Shea cut a look at his sister, she was grinning bashfully.
“Your momma knows her stuff, huh?”
“Sure does!” Ryan yelled as he went back to shooting. Amelia started getting fussy, so Grace took her and kissed her cheeks.
“So, let me get this straight,” she started as she cleared her throat. “You haven’t dated a man in what, how long has it been since dickhead?” she asked.
“Six years,” Harper answered before Elli could.
“Six years, and now that a man that you like and are attracted to wants to get under your shirt, you decide to freak out, run, and then not talk to him anymore because you are not what you think he wants.”
Elli just stood there. When she put it that way, Elli sounded dumb. Elli just shrugged as she said, “Yeah.”
“Has he said that you are not what he wants?” Trice asked.
“No, quite the opposite, really,” Elli answered.
“Okay, so explain to me why you don’t want to see him anymore?” Harper asked.
“Because I’m fat,” Elli said as she threw her arms up in the air.
“You’re not fat!” Everyone yelled at the same time.
“Yes, Elli, you are not a size two anymore, we get that, but honey, you were sick,” Trice explained.
“You have already lost a lot of what you gained. You’re at a healthy size, baby girl, stop,” Walter added.
“Let me tell you something, Elli.” Everyone’s heads turned towards Derrick, “I am your after friend; I came after the sickness hit, after Justin left, after the studio opened, but I’ve heard about before Elli, about how outspoken and crazy she was. Jodi told me about how Justin treated you when you got sick.”
Everyone just nodded. Justin was such a douche.
“But not every man is like him. This guy that you are talking to likes you, not before Elli.”
“But what happens when he sees me naked, or sees pictures of before Elli?” she asked sadly, “I can’t do another Justin, I can’t.”
“And no one is asking you to, but do you think he would do that? Have you talked to him about it?”
“No.”
“Okay, so how would you know?”
Everyone just nodded, grinning at Derrick, then Elli.
“You can’t stay hidden El. You’re so beautiful, so amazing, so funny. Don’t hide,” Jodi said.
“Yeah, because when he sees the real Elli, the carefree happy one, he’ll fall head over heels in 2.3 seconds,” Trice added.
“Elli, he really likes you. Jakob has even said so. Maybe he is tired of the Barbie dolls and wants something real,” Harper suggested, “You need to give him a chance, love like you’ve never been hurt before. You need to talk to him.”
“I don’t know.”
“Is he worth it, Elli?” Elli looked over at Derrick; he had his glass of wine in front of his mouth, a grin on his lips.
“It's early, I know, but people always know when something is worth it, so do you think he is?”
Elli thought for a moment. She missed him, she did. This was the longest they had ever gone without talking, but she was just so damn scared. She didn’t want to get hurt again; she didn’t want the rejection. In a way she was fine with her life; she had Adler, her friends, her nieces and nephews.
What else did she really need?
“I know that look, Elli. Your life could be a lot better, a lot happier. Don’t you still want kids of your own?” Harper asked.
Everyone nodded, and Elli caved.
She sat down; put her face in her hands. She did want kids, she did want a husband, a happily-ever-after. But could she get over her insecurities to try?
“He’s worth it, but I don’t know if I am.”
Chapter 8
The image of Elli running out of Shea’s apartment would be forever burned into his brain. The tears streaming down her face, the way she slammed her hands into the steering wheel as she cried. He knew she didn’t know he was watching, but he was. He wanted nothing more than to run down there and comfort her. Didn’t she know that he wasn’t mad, that he was fine without going further, that he just wanted to be with her? Why didn’t she understand that? What had he done wrong? Was he moving too fast? He didn’t know, he had never been in this situation, never been with the same woman more than once. He was lost.
He hadn’t talked to her in two days. He had sent her several text messages and she would answer that she was busy and would call when she had the chance, but hour after hour passed, and he never heard from her. Part of him wondered if this was her way of blowing him off, but part of him knew that wasn’t true. She was just embarrassed, or so he hoped.
Like always, when he was confused about something, he ended up at Grace’s. Grace was moving around the house, running her mouth as he sat with Amelia in his lap, playing kissy face with her, while Ryan shot pucks at the new net Shea had brought over with him.
“Unky, watch. I can shoot just as hard as you!” Ryan exclaimed as he swung his stick as hard as his little four year old body would let him. What surprised Shea was that he actually got the puck in the goal.
“Way to go, bud!” Shea exclaimed. “Cheer for Ryan, Amelia! Go, Ryan, Go!” Shea lifted Amelia’s arms in the air and she giggled as she bounced in his lap.
“I’m amazing, just like you, Unky. That’s what Momma says.”
Shea cut a look at his sister, she was grinning bashfully.
“Your momma knows her stuff, huh?”
“Sure does!” Ryan yelled as he went back to shooting. Amelia started getting fussy, so Grace took her and kissed her cheeks.
