“I’d forgotten what it’s like to just laugh and gossip about nothing. We put so much focus on treatments and therapies and we overlook the simplest joys. Laughter. This was a really nice day.”
She glances over at me. There’s a silly little smile on her face, one I haven’t seen before.
“What?”
“Nothing. Just that I like her.”
“It’s not a big deal, Mom. She’s just someone I’m helping out. A friend of a friend.”
“Still, I like her.” She watches me with her knowing eyes. “It’s okay to like someone, Tank. Not everyone leaves. I know your father left. And now I’m … I’m leaving you.” Her voice breaks a little and I’m not sure I can listen to this.
“Mom,” I warn, not wanting to hear anything else she has to say. Not if it’s going to be talk about her leaving us.
“I’m just saying, it’s okay to like someone.”
“Okay, I’m not talking about girls with you. That’s not happening. And you aren’t going anywhere. I’ve got the money for your surgery.”
Her hands fly to her mouth. “How could you have gotten that much money so fast?”
“I told you I’ve been working really hard and I just had to figure a few things out. Finn and I worked it out. We’ve got it covered now. I don’t want you to worry about anything.”
“You’re keeping something from me. I know it. Just tell me that you didn’t do anything illegal.”
“Mama.” The word takes me by surprise even as it leaves my mouth. I haven’t called her that since I was a kid. “I told you, you don’t have to worry. It’s nothing like that. It’s just Finn and I moving some money around. Okay?”
She doesn’t speak but her shoulders sag a little as she sits back. “Good. Okay. I just worry about you, Tank. I worry about you most of all.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
EMMA
“You don’t have to clean that up dear. I can do it.” Claire appears in the doorway of the kitchen. She still has a blue towel around her neck but her hair looks almost dry, the light brown strands curling at the ends.
“I’m almost done. See?”
As I sponge up the puddles of water around the sink, I sneak glances at her. She looks so young to have a son Tank’s age and she’s a lot of fun. We spent a pleasurable hour while I was washing and conditioning her hair talking about my college classes and all the things she regrets doing during her college years. It shouldn’t have taken that long really but I wasn’t in any hurry and Claire didn’t seem to be either.
She’d asked all kinds of questions. I think she’s wondering what my relationship is to Tank.
“All done.” I wring out the sponge and place it back on the counter. I already gathered up the loose hair in the sink and put the caps back on the shampoo and conditioner bottles. “I kind of wish we had time to do manicures and pedicures, too.”
I try to remember the last time I had this much fun. It’s been a long time since Ivy and I have done anything together. Everything these days is about money and our lack of it. She’s always with Jon lately and I’ve been working around the clock. There’s not a lot of time for laughter. I hadn’t realized until now just how much I’ve missed it.
“I do, too. Visitors are few and far between these days. I tell you what, cancer lets you know who your real friends are. Mainly it’s my boys.” Claire presses another section of hair between the folds of the towel, blotting out the excess water. “They come out every few days to check on me and they call everyday. So I can’t complain.”
I lean back and observe Tank as he sits on the couch. There’s so much that I want to ask her about him. Has he always been so intense? He seems to carry a heavy weight around with him. He helped me the other day and he didn’t have to do that. Anyone else would have given me a ride home and then driven off without a care. Instead he took me home and put me in his bed. Which would have seemed self-serving except he didn’t take advantage.
Even when I wanted him to.
Tank comes in the kitchen and places his empty soda can in the recycling bin. The trash can is almost full so he pulls the bag out and ties it off. “Let me take this out before we go.” He opens the back door and takes the trash to the can directly outside the door.
“Okay, Mom. We should get going. I didn’t mean to keep Emma out this long. I don’t want her to get sick of me yet.”
Claire holds out her arms and Tank enfolds her in a hug. “Thank you for coming darling. I really appreciate it.”
To my surprise, Claire pulls me into a hug, too. “And you too, Emma. I’m sorry I interrupted your afternoon together. Well, not really since I had too much fun to be sorry. But you should take her out again, Tanner. Make it up to her.”
“I’m not sure if that would be a reward or a punishment. Maybe she’s had enough already.” He squeezes her arm and she smiles up at him. It’s so funny to watch Tank deal with his mother. He’s so careful with her.
Claire walks us to the door.
“Lock up behind us, Mom.” Tank waits until she closes the door and we hear the latch slide into place.
I follow him down the driveway to his bike. He hands me the helmet but I don’t put it on.
“You’re different than I was expecting. This whole day has been so different. I didn’t even want to go but …”
She glances over at me. There’s a silly little smile on her face, one I haven’t seen before.
“What?”
“Nothing. Just that I like her.”
“It’s not a big deal, Mom. She’s just someone I’m helping out. A friend of a friend.”
“Still, I like her.” She watches me with her knowing eyes. “It’s okay to like someone, Tank. Not everyone leaves. I know your father left. And now I’m … I’m leaving you.” Her voice breaks a little and I’m not sure I can listen to this.
“Mom,” I warn, not wanting to hear anything else she has to say. Not if it’s going to be talk about her leaving us.
“I’m just saying, it’s okay to like someone.”
“Okay, I’m not talking about girls with you. That’s not happening. And you aren’t going anywhere. I’ve got the money for your surgery.”
Her hands fly to her mouth. “How could you have gotten that much money so fast?”
“I told you I’ve been working really hard and I just had to figure a few things out. Finn and I worked it out. We’ve got it covered now. I don’t want you to worry about anything.”
“You’re keeping something from me. I know it. Just tell me that you didn’t do anything illegal.”
“Mama.” The word takes me by surprise even as it leaves my mouth. I haven’t called her that since I was a kid. “I told you, you don’t have to worry. It’s nothing like that. It’s just Finn and I moving some money around. Okay?”
She doesn’t speak but her shoulders sag a little as she sits back. “Good. Okay. I just worry about you, Tank. I worry about you most of all.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
EMMA
“You don’t have to clean that up dear. I can do it.” Claire appears in the doorway of the kitchen. She still has a blue towel around her neck but her hair looks almost dry, the light brown strands curling at the ends.
“I’m almost done. See?”
As I sponge up the puddles of water around the sink, I sneak glances at her. She looks so young to have a son Tank’s age and she’s a lot of fun. We spent a pleasurable hour while I was washing and conditioning her hair talking about my college classes and all the things she regrets doing during her college years. It shouldn’t have taken that long really but I wasn’t in any hurry and Claire didn’t seem to be either.
She’d asked all kinds of questions. I think she’s wondering what my relationship is to Tank.
“All done.” I wring out the sponge and place it back on the counter. I already gathered up the loose hair in the sink and put the caps back on the shampoo and conditioner bottles. “I kind of wish we had time to do manicures and pedicures, too.”
I try to remember the last time I had this much fun. It’s been a long time since Ivy and I have done anything together. Everything these days is about money and our lack of it. She’s always with Jon lately and I’ve been working around the clock. There’s not a lot of time for laughter. I hadn’t realized until now just how much I’ve missed it.
“I do, too. Visitors are few and far between these days. I tell you what, cancer lets you know who your real friends are. Mainly it’s my boys.” Claire presses another section of hair between the folds of the towel, blotting out the excess water. “They come out every few days to check on me and they call everyday. So I can’t complain.”
I lean back and observe Tank as he sits on the couch. There’s so much that I want to ask her about him. Has he always been so intense? He seems to carry a heavy weight around with him. He helped me the other day and he didn’t have to do that. Anyone else would have given me a ride home and then driven off without a care. Instead he took me home and put me in his bed. Which would have seemed self-serving except he didn’t take advantage.
Even when I wanted him to.
Tank comes in the kitchen and places his empty soda can in the recycling bin. The trash can is almost full so he pulls the bag out and ties it off. “Let me take this out before we go.” He opens the back door and takes the trash to the can directly outside the door.
“Okay, Mom. We should get going. I didn’t mean to keep Emma out this long. I don’t want her to get sick of me yet.”
Claire holds out her arms and Tank enfolds her in a hug. “Thank you for coming darling. I really appreciate it.”
To my surprise, Claire pulls me into a hug, too. “And you too, Emma. I’m sorry I interrupted your afternoon together. Well, not really since I had too much fun to be sorry. But you should take her out again, Tanner. Make it up to her.”
“I’m not sure if that would be a reward or a punishment. Maybe she’s had enough already.” He squeezes her arm and she smiles up at him. It’s so funny to watch Tank deal with his mother. He’s so careful with her.
Claire walks us to the door.
“Lock up behind us, Mom.” Tank waits until she closes the door and we hear the latch slide into place.
I follow him down the driveway to his bike. He hands me the helmet but I don’t put it on.
“You’re different than I was expecting. This whole day has been so different. I didn’t even want to go but …”
