“You know it’s not your fault, Ivy. It’s their fault. The people who did it.”
“I know. But the way we feel doesn’t always make sense. But I’m starting to think that by keeping this house, we’re just keeping the worst part of our lives front and center.”
“I’ve been thinking the same thing. This whole situation with school got me thinking. I got some scholarship offers for schools out of state. If I take those, then I’ll be able to finish school and get away from all of this for a while. Get a fresh start.”
Ivy sits up abruptly, her ice cream falling out of her hand and leaving milky white droplets on the front of her shirt. “Em, no! I just got you back. Or I guess I should say, I just got my head out of the sand since I was the one who let a guy come between us. I don’t want you to leave.”
She’s sincere and finally seems to understand what her emotional desertion has been like for me this past year.
“It won’t be forever. Just for school. I’ve gotten some offers from schools in North Carolina. Their financial aid packages are really attractive. I wasn’t considering them before because I just couldn’t imagine leaving Virginia. This is home, you know?”
“It is home. That’s why you need to stay here. Do you really think things are over with Tank?”
I close my eyes. I’m already tired of thinking about it. All I’ve done since that conversation in the stairwell is rehash all the ways I screwed up. All the chances I had to tell him what his father was up to. I wanted to protect him from the truth but the truth wasn’t what he needed to fear. My deception hurt him worse than the truth ever could have.
And now it’s too late. It’s almost nine o’clock. Visiting hours are over and he’s probably back at home. But he hasn’t called or texted. He’s not going to come after me.
“He was so angry. And disappointed. I think that was worse. I betrayed him and now he won’t believe that what we had was real. He’ll always think that I was there because of the money.”
Ivy scoots over on the couch and takes the ice cream container out of my hands. She sets it on the coffee table carefully and then pulls me into a hug. We sit there like that until she reaches over and grabs my ice cream.
“I still say Ben and Jerry are our soul mates.”
And for the first time in a long time, I have my sister back.
TANK
One week later …
It’s the weirdest thing to be in my brother’s house drunk off my ass. I turn my head to the side and watch Finn. He’s spinning slightly. Gabe and Zack followed us to Finn’s penthouse from the hospital since he lives the closest.
He also has a fully stocked bar.
“Okay, big guy. Let’s get you on the couch.” Gabe hoists me up from the floor where I’ve been for the past hour. I think I was on the couch at one point but after a few glasses of scotch, things start to get a little unclear.
“He’s just going to end up on the floor again. Trust me, I know this from years of experience dealing with him.” Finn rolls his eyes at me.
“I’m going to give him a pass. It’s been a rough week. For all of us.” Gabe pointed out.
We’ve been back and forth to the hospital all week, taking turns sitting at our father’s bedside. I’m not sure why the others feel obligated to do it but I’m still wrestling with the guilt of putting him there. Through it all, my brothers have been right beside me. Despite their support, there’s a gap they can’t fill. It’s amazing how you can be lonely in a room full of people.
“I’m so glad you guys are all here. Because we’re brothers.” I point at Gabe and then at Zack. Finally I point at Finn. When I lean toward him, I almost topple off the couch.
He slaps my hand away. “Let me see it again.”
I know what he wants and he can’t have it. Emma is mine. At least, she was mine. Until I realized that she was just one more of my father’s minions.
When I don’t hand it over, Finn leans down and tries to pull it forcibly from my pocket. The full state of my inebriation is apparent when I realize I can’t fight him off. He pushes my hands aside easily and yanks the envelope I’ve been carrying around the past week from my pocket.
“Fuck off, Finn.”
He just grins and looks over at Gabe and Zack. “He’s a pissy drunk.”
They chuckle along with him and my head falls back on the couch behind me. “I’m a sucker. That’s what I am.”
Finn pulls out the check and holds it up to the light.
Zack peers over his shoulder. “I can’t believe she didn’t cash it.”
Finn puts it back in the envelope. “So she carried a million dollar check in her purse uncashed for the better part of twenty-four hours? The average person would have run to the nearest bank. Instead she came home to you. Then she woke up with you. Then she came to the hospital to talk to you.”
“I don’t need a list. I was there, remember?”
He sits forward and glares at me. “Were you? Really? Because I’m starting to wonder if you’re remembering events correctly. Otherwise none of this makes sense.”
My head is really starting to hurt. I shouldn’t have a hangover before I’m even done drinking. Because I’m not done. Not by a long shot.
“Hell, I’d have been on a plane to Tahiti,” Zack comments. After that he takes another swig of his beer and goes back to ignoring us.
“I know. But the way we feel doesn’t always make sense. But I’m starting to think that by keeping this house, we’re just keeping the worst part of our lives front and center.”
“I’ve been thinking the same thing. This whole situation with school got me thinking. I got some scholarship offers for schools out of state. If I take those, then I’ll be able to finish school and get away from all of this for a while. Get a fresh start.”
Ivy sits up abruptly, her ice cream falling out of her hand and leaving milky white droplets on the front of her shirt. “Em, no! I just got you back. Or I guess I should say, I just got my head out of the sand since I was the one who let a guy come between us. I don’t want you to leave.”
She’s sincere and finally seems to understand what her emotional desertion has been like for me this past year.
“It won’t be forever. Just for school. I’ve gotten some offers from schools in North Carolina. Their financial aid packages are really attractive. I wasn’t considering them before because I just couldn’t imagine leaving Virginia. This is home, you know?”
“It is home. That’s why you need to stay here. Do you really think things are over with Tank?”
I close my eyes. I’m already tired of thinking about it. All I’ve done since that conversation in the stairwell is rehash all the ways I screwed up. All the chances I had to tell him what his father was up to. I wanted to protect him from the truth but the truth wasn’t what he needed to fear. My deception hurt him worse than the truth ever could have.
And now it’s too late. It’s almost nine o’clock. Visiting hours are over and he’s probably back at home. But he hasn’t called or texted. He’s not going to come after me.
“He was so angry. And disappointed. I think that was worse. I betrayed him and now he won’t believe that what we had was real. He’ll always think that I was there because of the money.”
Ivy scoots over on the couch and takes the ice cream container out of my hands. She sets it on the coffee table carefully and then pulls me into a hug. We sit there like that until she reaches over and grabs my ice cream.
“I still say Ben and Jerry are our soul mates.”
And for the first time in a long time, I have my sister back.
TANK
One week later …
It’s the weirdest thing to be in my brother’s house drunk off my ass. I turn my head to the side and watch Finn. He’s spinning slightly. Gabe and Zack followed us to Finn’s penthouse from the hospital since he lives the closest.
He also has a fully stocked bar.
“Okay, big guy. Let’s get you on the couch.” Gabe hoists me up from the floor where I’ve been for the past hour. I think I was on the couch at one point but after a few glasses of scotch, things start to get a little unclear.
“He’s just going to end up on the floor again. Trust me, I know this from years of experience dealing with him.” Finn rolls his eyes at me.
“I’m going to give him a pass. It’s been a rough week. For all of us.” Gabe pointed out.
We’ve been back and forth to the hospital all week, taking turns sitting at our father’s bedside. I’m not sure why the others feel obligated to do it but I’m still wrestling with the guilt of putting him there. Through it all, my brothers have been right beside me. Despite their support, there’s a gap they can’t fill. It’s amazing how you can be lonely in a room full of people.
“I’m so glad you guys are all here. Because we’re brothers.” I point at Gabe and then at Zack. Finally I point at Finn. When I lean toward him, I almost topple off the couch.
He slaps my hand away. “Let me see it again.”
I know what he wants and he can’t have it. Emma is mine. At least, she was mine. Until I realized that she was just one more of my father’s minions.
When I don’t hand it over, Finn leans down and tries to pull it forcibly from my pocket. The full state of my inebriation is apparent when I realize I can’t fight him off. He pushes my hands aside easily and yanks the envelope I’ve been carrying around the past week from my pocket.
“Fuck off, Finn.”
He just grins and looks over at Gabe and Zack. “He’s a pissy drunk.”
They chuckle along with him and my head falls back on the couch behind me. “I’m a sucker. That’s what I am.”
Finn pulls out the check and holds it up to the light.
Zack peers over his shoulder. “I can’t believe she didn’t cash it.”
Finn puts it back in the envelope. “So she carried a million dollar check in her purse uncashed for the better part of twenty-four hours? The average person would have run to the nearest bank. Instead she came home to you. Then she woke up with you. Then she came to the hospital to talk to you.”
“I don’t need a list. I was there, remember?”
He sits forward and glares at me. “Were you? Really? Because I’m starting to wonder if you’re remembering events correctly. Otherwise none of this makes sense.”
My head is really starting to hurt. I shouldn’t have a hangover before I’m even done drinking. Because I’m not done. Not by a long shot.
“Hell, I’d have been on a plane to Tahiti,” Zack comments. After that he takes another swig of his beer and goes back to ignoring us.
