“Emerson.” Pepper’s voice cut in, which was a good thing. I was about to go off on her boyfriend for lecturing me about what kind of guy I chose to spend time with. Pepper continued. “I know you like Shaw. I’ve seen you with him. He’s . . . different. You’re different when you’re around him.”
I wrenched my gaze off Reece’s hard-eyed stare. He looked at me like I was the bad one here. Like I was screwing his friend over. What did they want from me? I couldn’t be like Pepper. I couldn’t just have a boyfriend and fall in love.
I stared levelly at Pepper. “I love you, girl, but you gotta stop this matchmaking business. Both of you.” I glanced at Reece and then back at her. “It’s not going to work.”
She gave a single nod, but she still had that worried look. “Okay.”
Okay. Good. I nodded, but the sense of relief I wanted didn’t come. No relief or satisfaction or whatever. The hollow feeling inside me only yawned deeper. “Thanks.” I waved at them both. “I’ll leave you alone now. Carry on.”
Pepper glanced at her clock. “I thought we were going to walk to class together.”
“No, I’m going in early to work on my stuff for the showcase.”
Pepper’s eyes brightened. “That’s right. That’s coming up. When is it?”
“Next Friday.”
Pepper glanced at Reece. “It’s a big university art show that Em’s in.” She looked back at me. “Are you ready for it?”
“I think so.” My mind drifted to the painting of Shaw and I fidgeted. Professor Martinelli made it clear she expected to see it in the exhibit. It was hard enough putting anything I created on display, but that painting? It would feel like I was baring myself up there on that wall. Like I was on display. But Martinelli had made it clear my grade would suffer if I left it out.
“What time?” Pepper asked. “Georgia and I want to go.”
“Yeah. I’d like to see your work.” Reece nodded. “Maybe I can take the night off.”
“Um.” I bit my lip. “It’s not a big deal. You guys don’t have to come.”
They exchanged glances before looking back at me. “Why not? Georgia and I went last year—”
“I know,” I cut in. “It’s just not a big deal. You saw that last year.”
“I thought it was awesome. I loved that painting you did of the dog waiting outside the Java Hut.”
I smiled in memory. That was one of my favorites, too. I’d snapped the picture on my phone of a dog wearing a jaunty little neck scarf outside the coffeehouse.
“Why don’t we meet outside afterward?” I suggested. The last thing I wanted was for them to see the painting of Shaw. Even though it was just his eyes, they would probably recognize him and that was just too mortifying to contemplate. “Really,” I insisted. “It’s no big deal. You went last year. It’s just more of the same.”
“I want to go. I would like to see what you’ve been working on. And don’t you want someone there?” The instant the words were out there I could see the apprehension in Pepper’s eyes. Fear that she had somehow hurt me with the reminder that I had no one to attend on my behalf. No family that cared enough to come out and support me. Last year family members had crowded the exhibit, all there to support their loved one.
“No. I’m fine. Really.” I was accustomed to the lack of family in my life.
“If you’re sure,” Pepper said, but she still sounded unconvinced. “I really would like to go though.”
“Pepper,” I chided. “I’m sure you can think of a lot more entertaining things to do. Like tie this hot boyfriend of yours up to a bed or something.”
Reece laughed.
“Em!” Pepper looked shocked even though I knew there wasn’t much that could shock her these days. Not since she and Reece had hooked up. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other. I was surprised they ever left the bedroom.
“Just let us know if you change your mind,” Reece said, rubbing Pepper’s back. “We want to be there for you.”
I nodded, but I knew I wouldn’t change my mind. There was no way anyone could see that painting.
ON MONDAY NIGHT, SHAW came to my room. It was a little after eight. I had just gotten home from study group. On top of Friday’s showcase, I had a test coming up in my Medieval Art class. To make matters worse, Mom was calling again. I answered her calls, worried that if I didn’t talk to her she would just show up in my dorm again. So I endured her recriminations. She went back and forth from accusations to pleas. She even tried bribing me with a trip to Europe.
I had enough on my plate without Shaw showing up. I stared at him through the peephole as he knocked. Three steady knocks. He waited, glancing left and right down the hall, one arm braced along the wall near the door. Holding my breath, I appreciated the square cut of his jaw, the strong line of his nose. The well-carved lips that haunted me still. Everything inside me lurched and responded to the sight of him. Sexy as hell. I bit my lip.
“Emerson, you in there?”
I held silent. Compressing my lips, I watched him until he turned away. The sound of his tread faded. In the distance, I heard the ding of the elevator. Releasing the breath I’d been holding, I collapsed against the door, sliding down its length until I was sitting on the floor. At least Georgia wasn’t here. I didn’t need her witnessing me coming apart over a guy. Especially Shaw. Shaw with his eyes always on me, watching and intent, devouring. Shaw with his shirt off, his body hard, muscles rippling under his tanned skin. He was beautiful. The most beautiful guy I’d ever seen, and it wasn’t just his looks. He’d be beautiful twenty years from now. It was a quality he had. A confidence. It was in his voice when he talked about Adam. When he showed me his bikes. When he told me I needed to pursue my art and screw a desk job. And it was in his eyes when he looked at me. In his hands when they touched me.
I swallowed. I’d clearly let it go too far if I was feeling this way.
Lying in bed that night, I was almost asleep when my phone buzzed beside me. I reached for it on the shelf that edged the bed and stared at the lit screen in the dark.
Shaw: Hey. I stopped by to see you
I bit my lip and stroked the screen with my thumb, almost like I was touching him.
I wrenched my gaze off Reece’s hard-eyed stare. He looked at me like I was the bad one here. Like I was screwing his friend over. What did they want from me? I couldn’t be like Pepper. I couldn’t just have a boyfriend and fall in love.
I stared levelly at Pepper. “I love you, girl, but you gotta stop this matchmaking business. Both of you.” I glanced at Reece and then back at her. “It’s not going to work.”
She gave a single nod, but she still had that worried look. “Okay.”
Okay. Good. I nodded, but the sense of relief I wanted didn’t come. No relief or satisfaction or whatever. The hollow feeling inside me only yawned deeper. “Thanks.” I waved at them both. “I’ll leave you alone now. Carry on.”
Pepper glanced at her clock. “I thought we were going to walk to class together.”
“No, I’m going in early to work on my stuff for the showcase.”
Pepper’s eyes brightened. “That’s right. That’s coming up. When is it?”
“Next Friday.”
Pepper glanced at Reece. “It’s a big university art show that Em’s in.” She looked back at me. “Are you ready for it?”
“I think so.” My mind drifted to the painting of Shaw and I fidgeted. Professor Martinelli made it clear she expected to see it in the exhibit. It was hard enough putting anything I created on display, but that painting? It would feel like I was baring myself up there on that wall. Like I was on display. But Martinelli had made it clear my grade would suffer if I left it out.
“What time?” Pepper asked. “Georgia and I want to go.”
“Yeah. I’d like to see your work.” Reece nodded. “Maybe I can take the night off.”
“Um.” I bit my lip. “It’s not a big deal. You guys don’t have to come.”
They exchanged glances before looking back at me. “Why not? Georgia and I went last year—”
“I know,” I cut in. “It’s just not a big deal. You saw that last year.”
“I thought it was awesome. I loved that painting you did of the dog waiting outside the Java Hut.”
I smiled in memory. That was one of my favorites, too. I’d snapped the picture on my phone of a dog wearing a jaunty little neck scarf outside the coffeehouse.
“Why don’t we meet outside afterward?” I suggested. The last thing I wanted was for them to see the painting of Shaw. Even though it was just his eyes, they would probably recognize him and that was just too mortifying to contemplate. “Really,” I insisted. “It’s no big deal. You went last year. It’s just more of the same.”
“I want to go. I would like to see what you’ve been working on. And don’t you want someone there?” The instant the words were out there I could see the apprehension in Pepper’s eyes. Fear that she had somehow hurt me with the reminder that I had no one to attend on my behalf. No family that cared enough to come out and support me. Last year family members had crowded the exhibit, all there to support their loved one.
“No. I’m fine. Really.” I was accustomed to the lack of family in my life.
“If you’re sure,” Pepper said, but she still sounded unconvinced. “I really would like to go though.”
“Pepper,” I chided. “I’m sure you can think of a lot more entertaining things to do. Like tie this hot boyfriend of yours up to a bed or something.”
Reece laughed.
“Em!” Pepper looked shocked even though I knew there wasn’t much that could shock her these days. Not since she and Reece had hooked up. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other. I was surprised they ever left the bedroom.
“Just let us know if you change your mind,” Reece said, rubbing Pepper’s back. “We want to be there for you.”
I nodded, but I knew I wouldn’t change my mind. There was no way anyone could see that painting.
ON MONDAY NIGHT, SHAW came to my room. It was a little after eight. I had just gotten home from study group. On top of Friday’s showcase, I had a test coming up in my Medieval Art class. To make matters worse, Mom was calling again. I answered her calls, worried that if I didn’t talk to her she would just show up in my dorm again. So I endured her recriminations. She went back and forth from accusations to pleas. She even tried bribing me with a trip to Europe.
I had enough on my plate without Shaw showing up. I stared at him through the peephole as he knocked. Three steady knocks. He waited, glancing left and right down the hall, one arm braced along the wall near the door. Holding my breath, I appreciated the square cut of his jaw, the strong line of his nose. The well-carved lips that haunted me still. Everything inside me lurched and responded to the sight of him. Sexy as hell. I bit my lip.
“Emerson, you in there?”
I held silent. Compressing my lips, I watched him until he turned away. The sound of his tread faded. In the distance, I heard the ding of the elevator. Releasing the breath I’d been holding, I collapsed against the door, sliding down its length until I was sitting on the floor. At least Georgia wasn’t here. I didn’t need her witnessing me coming apart over a guy. Especially Shaw. Shaw with his eyes always on me, watching and intent, devouring. Shaw with his shirt off, his body hard, muscles rippling under his tanned skin. He was beautiful. The most beautiful guy I’d ever seen, and it wasn’t just his looks. He’d be beautiful twenty years from now. It was a quality he had. A confidence. It was in his voice when he talked about Adam. When he showed me his bikes. When he told me I needed to pursue my art and screw a desk job. And it was in his eyes when he looked at me. In his hands when they touched me.
I swallowed. I’d clearly let it go too far if I was feeling this way.
Lying in bed that night, I was almost asleep when my phone buzzed beside me. I reached for it on the shelf that edged the bed and stared at the lit screen in the dark.
Shaw: Hey. I stopped by to see you
I bit my lip and stroked the screen with my thumb, almost like I was touching him.
