“No.” I shook my head and the motion made me slightly sick.
Justin moaned behind us. Turning, I surveyed my handiwork. The paintbrush was embedded high in his chest, right above the V neck of his sweater, below his collarbone. No mortal wound, but it looked painful. “You stabbed me!”
“You’re lucky to be alive,” Shaw snarled, pulling out his phone and dialing. I inched from his side, only distantly hearing him speak to a 911 operator as I studied my stepbrother with an odd sense of curiosity.
Standing over him, I murmured, “You can’t hurt me. Not anymore. Not ever again.”
And I realized I had been letting him do that. Him and Mom. All these years. I’d been letting them keep me from living life and finding happiness.
Justin panted, his face sweaty and creased with pain as he stared up at me. “God, it f**king hurts, Emerson. Call an ambulance. Please! I’m sorry! Please!”
Shaw moved back to my side, wrapping an arm around me. He spoke gently, as if I was something fragile that might shatter. “An ambulance is coming. The police, too. I’m sure they’re going to want to talk to you.” His gaze skimmed my face. “And probably take you to the hospital.”
I nodded.
“What about me?” Justin whined.
All softness fled from Shaw’s voice. “Yeah, you, too, ass**le. After they arrest you, of course.”
Justin dropped his head back on the floor, whimpering now, his hand hovering over the paintbrush stuck in his chest. “No, please. I’m f**king dying here. Isn’t that punishment enough?”
Shaw’s eyes were hard and uncaring. “It’s just a flesh wound, pu**y.” He moved to crouch over my stepbrother. He tapped the paintbrush and Justin yelped. “What I should do is bury it in deeper.” Shaw glanced at me, his eyes softening as they lingered on me. “She’s a better person than I am. Because that’s what I would have done. If I’d caught you attacking her, I would have killed you.”
Justin’s eyes grew enormous and he shook his head wildly, whimpering all over again, but this time I doubted it was due to the pain. It was fear.
Shaw continued. “It’s no less than you deserve, and I promise, if you ever come at her again, I’ll kill you.”
“I’m sorry, man.” Justin’s gaze flicked over to me. “I’m sorry, Emerson. I’ll leave you alone. You’ll never see me again. I promise.”
Shaw stood again and reclaimed my hand, warm fingers lacing tightly with my fingers. “You all right?”
It was over. What began all those years ago. What turned me into a creature who went through every day in a state of quasi existence. I existed but didn’t live, hiding inside myself, looking out at the world but never stepping into it.
Shaw knew that. He saw it in me.
I squeezed his hand back. “I just want to go home.” I sagged against him, content to lean on him, to let him hold me. For however long he wanted. I was finally ready to step outside.
Chapter 21
IT WAS AFTER TWO in the morning when I was released from the hospital.
I had to be examined. Photographs taken and my minimal injuries catalogued. The same police officer who stayed with me through the night and took my initial statement led us to his car in the hospital lot.
I slid into the backseat of the cruiser. Shaw followed, settling beside me. His strong arms wrapped around me and held me. I released a pent-up breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. We’d barely pulled out of the parking lot before my head dropped on Shaw’s shoulder.
Shaw had remained at the hospital with me, holding my hand like he would never let go, leaving only during the doctor’s exam when they forced him to step outside the room. He called Georgia and Pepper for me, backing me up when I insisted that I didn’t need them to come to the hospital. I spoke to each of them briefly, assuring them I was fine. Pepper’s voice had cracked when I talked to her and I knew she was on the verge of tears over what had happened. Fortunately she hadn’t been in front of me right then or we would have both ended up blubbering like babies.
“Thanks,” I murmured as I settled into the backseat. “For everything.”
“Don’t mention it. I . . .” His voice faded.
“What?” I prompted, keeping my voice low, aware of the police officer a few feet away in the front seat.
“I should have been there sooner. I was working in the shed. I left my phone in the house. I came as soon as I read your text.”
I smiled tiredly, playing with his fingers where they rested on my thigh. Trust him to blame himself for not rescuing me.
“You were there when I needed you.” I yawned and nestled against him.
“Not tonight,” he murmured, his low voice deep and earnest. “You saved yourself.”
I smiled as my eyelids sank shut. “I did, didn’t I?”
I WOKE TO THE smell of coffee and frying eggs. My stomach grumbled. Blinking, I rubbed at my eyes. The nachos of yesterday were a long-ago memory. I was wearing one of Shaw’s T-shirts. I didn’t even remember changing. Last night must have really wiped me out.
Sitting up, I looked around Shaw’s home. He moved about in his kitchen wearing only pajama bottoms that hung low on his narrow hips. I followed the lean, muscled lines of his body as they pulled and flexed with his actions. His dark hair was wild, sticking out in every direction on his head. Everything about him was strength and vitality. And mine. He was all mine. A slow smile curled my lips.
He moved back and forth, light on his feet, between the stove and the counter, sliding eggs and bacon onto plates. He turned a dial, shutting off the stove. Bread popped up from the toaster and he grabbed the hot slices, muttering a curse as he added those to the plates. Picking up the plates, he headed toward the bed.
His eyes lit up when he saw me sitting in bed. “You’re awake.”
“How could I sleep with the smell of bacon in the air?”
Grinning, he sank down on the bed, carefully balancing a plate in each hand. “Very true.”
I took one plate from him. “So.” I bit into a piece of bacon. “This is a little déjà vu.” I plucked at the T-shirt for illustration. “I’m guessing you changed my clothes for me.” This time, at least, the idea didn’t overly embarrass me.
“You fell asleep in the car.”
Justin moaned behind us. Turning, I surveyed my handiwork. The paintbrush was embedded high in his chest, right above the V neck of his sweater, below his collarbone. No mortal wound, but it looked painful. “You stabbed me!”
“You’re lucky to be alive,” Shaw snarled, pulling out his phone and dialing. I inched from his side, only distantly hearing him speak to a 911 operator as I studied my stepbrother with an odd sense of curiosity.
Standing over him, I murmured, “You can’t hurt me. Not anymore. Not ever again.”
And I realized I had been letting him do that. Him and Mom. All these years. I’d been letting them keep me from living life and finding happiness.
Justin panted, his face sweaty and creased with pain as he stared up at me. “God, it f**king hurts, Emerson. Call an ambulance. Please! I’m sorry! Please!”
Shaw moved back to my side, wrapping an arm around me. He spoke gently, as if I was something fragile that might shatter. “An ambulance is coming. The police, too. I’m sure they’re going to want to talk to you.” His gaze skimmed my face. “And probably take you to the hospital.”
I nodded.
“What about me?” Justin whined.
All softness fled from Shaw’s voice. “Yeah, you, too, ass**le. After they arrest you, of course.”
Justin dropped his head back on the floor, whimpering now, his hand hovering over the paintbrush stuck in his chest. “No, please. I’m f**king dying here. Isn’t that punishment enough?”
Shaw’s eyes were hard and uncaring. “It’s just a flesh wound, pu**y.” He moved to crouch over my stepbrother. He tapped the paintbrush and Justin yelped. “What I should do is bury it in deeper.” Shaw glanced at me, his eyes softening as they lingered on me. “She’s a better person than I am. Because that’s what I would have done. If I’d caught you attacking her, I would have killed you.”
Justin’s eyes grew enormous and he shook his head wildly, whimpering all over again, but this time I doubted it was due to the pain. It was fear.
Shaw continued. “It’s no less than you deserve, and I promise, if you ever come at her again, I’ll kill you.”
“I’m sorry, man.” Justin’s gaze flicked over to me. “I’m sorry, Emerson. I’ll leave you alone. You’ll never see me again. I promise.”
Shaw stood again and reclaimed my hand, warm fingers lacing tightly with my fingers. “You all right?”
It was over. What began all those years ago. What turned me into a creature who went through every day in a state of quasi existence. I existed but didn’t live, hiding inside myself, looking out at the world but never stepping into it.
Shaw knew that. He saw it in me.
I squeezed his hand back. “I just want to go home.” I sagged against him, content to lean on him, to let him hold me. For however long he wanted. I was finally ready to step outside.
Chapter 21
IT WAS AFTER TWO in the morning when I was released from the hospital.
I had to be examined. Photographs taken and my minimal injuries catalogued. The same police officer who stayed with me through the night and took my initial statement led us to his car in the hospital lot.
I slid into the backseat of the cruiser. Shaw followed, settling beside me. His strong arms wrapped around me and held me. I released a pent-up breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. We’d barely pulled out of the parking lot before my head dropped on Shaw’s shoulder.
Shaw had remained at the hospital with me, holding my hand like he would never let go, leaving only during the doctor’s exam when they forced him to step outside the room. He called Georgia and Pepper for me, backing me up when I insisted that I didn’t need them to come to the hospital. I spoke to each of them briefly, assuring them I was fine. Pepper’s voice had cracked when I talked to her and I knew she was on the verge of tears over what had happened. Fortunately she hadn’t been in front of me right then or we would have both ended up blubbering like babies.
“Thanks,” I murmured as I settled into the backseat. “For everything.”
“Don’t mention it. I . . .” His voice faded.
“What?” I prompted, keeping my voice low, aware of the police officer a few feet away in the front seat.
“I should have been there sooner. I was working in the shed. I left my phone in the house. I came as soon as I read your text.”
I smiled tiredly, playing with his fingers where they rested on my thigh. Trust him to blame himself for not rescuing me.
“You were there when I needed you.” I yawned and nestled against him.
“Not tonight,” he murmured, his low voice deep and earnest. “You saved yourself.”
I smiled as my eyelids sank shut. “I did, didn’t I?”
I WOKE TO THE smell of coffee and frying eggs. My stomach grumbled. Blinking, I rubbed at my eyes. The nachos of yesterday were a long-ago memory. I was wearing one of Shaw’s T-shirts. I didn’t even remember changing. Last night must have really wiped me out.
Sitting up, I looked around Shaw’s home. He moved about in his kitchen wearing only pajama bottoms that hung low on his narrow hips. I followed the lean, muscled lines of his body as they pulled and flexed with his actions. His dark hair was wild, sticking out in every direction on his head. Everything about him was strength and vitality. And mine. He was all mine. A slow smile curled my lips.
He moved back and forth, light on his feet, between the stove and the counter, sliding eggs and bacon onto plates. He turned a dial, shutting off the stove. Bread popped up from the toaster and he grabbed the hot slices, muttering a curse as he added those to the plates. Picking up the plates, he headed toward the bed.
His eyes lit up when he saw me sitting in bed. “You’re awake.”
“How could I sleep with the smell of bacon in the air?”
Grinning, he sank down on the bed, carefully balancing a plate in each hand. “Very true.”
I took one plate from him. “So.” I bit into a piece of bacon. “This is a little déjà vu.” I plucked at the T-shirt for illustration. “I’m guessing you changed my clothes for me.” This time, at least, the idea didn’t overly embarrass me.
“You fell asleep in the car.”
