The Accidental Assassin
Page 78

“How much is this going to hurt?” I narrowed my eyes.
“Just remember, you asked for this.” She smiled sweetly before turning and going out the back door.
Groaning, I stood up and followed her out, knowing that she was right. I had no one to blame but myself. I wanted to learn and Mavis was the one that had agreed to help me. Or course, I didn’t delude myself into thinking she wasn’t going to enjoy herself. She was going to love every minute that she got to beat me up.
The forms weren’t the bad part. Learning how to take a punch was the hard part. Or rather, trying to learn to avoid being punched was the hard part. I had no idea how to block, so being fast and moving out of the way were my best options.
“That’s it. You are not human!” I pointed at the tiny ninja in front of me. “You’re an evil elf sent to torture me.”
“Stop whining and put your hands up!” Mavis moved forward at the speed of light and I back peddled. “Stop doing that.”
“You’re a spider monkey on steroids. What else a I going to do? Oof!” One of her tiny fists slammed into my stomach.
“You’re bigger than I am. Use your size.” She twirled and her foot shot toward my head.
I ducked and dove for her leg which seemed to catch her off guard. We tumbled together to the ground and I fumbled to keep my hold on her. She wiggled and fought, slamming her knee into my chin.
“That wasn’t bad.” She twisted out of my grip and rolled into a standing position. “You had me for a second.”
“I almost bit my tongue off.” I stuck my tongue out and touched it gingerly.
“Get up. There is no crying in sparring.”
I stood up and brushed my backside off. Maybe I would be better once I’d practiced the katas more. Those would teach me how to move and weave around my opponent.
The loud sound of flesh meeting flesh made me wince and I looked over at Kenny and Owen. Kenny was bent over and cursing under his breath. Owen was patting his shoulder with a pained expression. It looked like I wasn’t the only one suffering.
That afternoon as I sat on the grass next to Kenny, I tried to give myself reassurance. I’d picked up the katas pretty quickly which had made me feel better after the long run. It was a soothing exercise. Owen approved of my stances, but otherwise didn’t say much to me.
Katas were where my self-praise ended. Mavis had thrown me around like a ragdoll and despite that, I’d still found it hard to actually try to hurt her. My punches were weak. I needed to punch through the foam paddles she held up, but pulled back each time my knuckles met one. My kicks were pathetic because I wasn’t limber enough to touch her nose with my toes. When it came to escaping choke holds and flipping Mavis over my shoulder, I’d been a complete failure.
At least I wasn’t bleeding, which was more than I could say about Kenny.
“Here, you need more tissue.” I unrolled some of the toilet paper sitting between us and handed it to him for his nose.
“Phanks.” He discarded the bloody paper he’d been using and replaced it with the new stuff, careful to keep his head tilted backward. “Phis bows.”
I snorted. Yep, it really did blow.
“Maybe we aren’t as bad as we think. Maybe we’re doing okay for our first day.” I stared up at the sky and prayed that was the truth.
“Phight.” The young guy sighed, his frustration matching mine. “Veast ooo ahn’t bweeding.”
“Not from a lack of effort on your aunt’s part.” I plucked a piece of grass and held it up between my fingers. Yep, grass was pretty much the same no matter where you visited.
Owen and Mavis had gone on a cool-down jog, leaving me and Kenny to bleed to death in her backyard. I didn’t even have the energy to be jealous over the time Owen was spending with Mavis. Not that I thought he wanted Mavis, but because she was getting time with him, period. But nope, I was content to lay here on the ground and pass tissues to the bleeding teenager.
“Maybe we could feign comas and get out of whatever torture they have planned for us when they get back.” The sounds of the city were muted, but I closed my eyes and tried to pick them out. Cars, people, music from a store floated past my ears.
Regular people doing regular things.
“Have you two eaten yet?” Owen walked through the house, using a towel to scrub the sweat out of his hair.
Kenny and I looked at each other. The thought of food made me want to curl into a ball, and blood was dripping past the tissue in his nose. I pulled off more paper and handed it to him.
“No.” I managed to prop myself up from the ground. “I’m not sure Kenny can swallow anything right now.”
“Noth wifth outh bunch o’ bwood.” Kenny sighed.
“Mr. Felding is making dinner.” Owen leaned against the door frame and looked at Kenny. “I can ask him to cut your steak into tiny little pieces.”
“I’d fwip ooo off if my fwinger didn’f hurf.”
“Here, let me.” I raised my middle finger.
“Later, love.” Owen’s laugh rolled through the back yard and despite how tired I was it still made my heart jump.
“Too sore.” I laid back on the grass and closed my eyes, hoping Kenny didn’t notice my blush.
“Your nose wouldn’t be hurt if you had done what I told you.” Owen walked over and made Kenny look up at him. “You let your anger get the best of you.”