The Best Goodbye
Page 30
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“Mom said that you used to take her to get ice cream a lot. Did it get boring?” Franny asked with complete sincerity.
Over the years, whenever she asked about her dad, she’d ask me to tell her something about him. She remembered every single story. I dropped my eyes back to my ice cream. I hoped he understood that I didn’t fill her head because I was holding out hope that something would happen between us; I just gave her pieces of him along the way.
“Yeah, I did, and you have a point. It never got boring,” Captain replied.
“I didn’t think so. It tastes too good. We have ice cream for lunch at school on Wednesdays. But it doesn’t taste like this, and it’s only vanilla or chocolate.”
“Is that so?” Captain was listening to her intently, and she was eating up the attention.
“Then on Fridays, we get a cupcake to celebrate all the birthdays that week, and sometimes we get red velvet. Those are my favorite. Except my friend Anna likes the chocolate ones best, so her favorite week isn’t my favorite week and . . .” Franny had her father’s attention, and she was on a roll. I leaned back and enjoyed my ice cream, while our daughter told Captain everything he could ever want to know about her life. She hardly came up for air. The only breaks he got were when she needed to take a lick of ice cream, and even then, he barely had a chance to catch his breath before she started talking again.
I stared out over the ocean, but every once in a while, I’d steal peeks at Captain to see how he was handling such a chatty nine-year-old. Every time, he looked fascinated. As if there was nothing she could say that would bore him. He nodded his head and said the right things at the right moments. This only made Franny more eager. I had a feeling she’d been saving it all up for this very day.
The way he interacted with her made it clear I’d been wrong to hold back from telling him about her. Hiding from him had been my way of protecting her, but had I really thought that the heart I once knew could be so different ten years later? Even if he had changed and hardened some, his goodness and protective instinct were still in there. I knew Franny had just become one of the luckiest little girls in the world.
Because when River Joshua Kipling decided you were worth protecting, he did it with everything he had.
Ten years ago
She was yelling, and we could hear her outside. River stopped at the front door and put his hand in front of me, holding me back. “You go to our spot at the pond. I’ll deal with her and then meet you there.”
If I didn’t go into that house, she’d be furious. He knew that. Last week, she had thrown a glass at his head when he sent me to my room and told me to lock the door. I wasn’t letting her do that again. Thank goodness his reflexes kept him from getting hit.
“No, I’m going in. She’s been threatening for weeks to send me away. I don’t want to give her a reason.” I knew that using my fear of leaving him would be the only way he would agree.
“I won’t let her.”
“River, you can’t stop her.”
“She won’t send you away, because she knows I’ll report her. I’ll call social services. I’ll leave, too. She knows it. You’re not going to be taken away from me.” The determination in his voice made me feel safe, even though I was standing outside a house with a madwoman raging inside.
“She’s on the phone with Dad,” he said, reaching down to squeeze my hand. “Go to the pond for me.”
I shook my head. “No. I won’t leave you here.”
River sighed, then turned to face me and placed both of his hands on my shoulders. He towered over me now at six feet. “Addy, please. I can handle her and calm her down. But if she hurts you, I will hurt her. I don’t want to hurt my mother. She needs help. I need to go in there knowing you’re safe.”
I stared up at him, wishing he wasn’t right. “I hate you having to deal with her alone. I hate being the reason.”
He pulled me close to him and lowered his mouth to my ear. “You’re my reason for everything.” Then he kissed me on the cheek and straightened back up.
In the midst of this insane moment, I had butterflies in my stomach going crazy. But he always had that effect on me. “I can’t remember what my life was like before you,” I told him honestly. “And I don’t want to remember.”
He smirked. “I remember what mine was like before you, and I don’t ever want to live without you again.”
Captain
After our ice-cream date, Addy agreed to bring Franny over for dinner in three days on her night off. I was trying to give them both time to adjust to having me in their lives, but I sure as hell didn’t want to wait that long. Watching Franny talk was fascinating. She was a ball of energy, and I felt like I had a lifetime to make up for with her.
The paperwork on my desk was waiting for me, but my head wasn’t on work. It was on the two girls in my life. The only two I would ever love.
A knock interrupted my thoughts. “Come in,” I called out.
Brad opened the door and stepped inside. I’d left a message for him to come see me. I had something we needed to discuss, and the kitchen wasn’t the place to do it.
“Hey, you need me?” he asked, looking like he’d just crawled out of bed.
“Late night?” I asked, hoping he’d say yes. I wanted his attention off of Addy.
He nodded. “Yeah, I was up late trying a new idea for a menu. Took me three tries, but I think I nailed it. I’ll make it today and let you try.” The guy was obsessed with food, but that was what made him the best.
Over the years, whenever she asked about her dad, she’d ask me to tell her something about him. She remembered every single story. I dropped my eyes back to my ice cream. I hoped he understood that I didn’t fill her head because I was holding out hope that something would happen between us; I just gave her pieces of him along the way.
“Yeah, I did, and you have a point. It never got boring,” Captain replied.
“I didn’t think so. It tastes too good. We have ice cream for lunch at school on Wednesdays. But it doesn’t taste like this, and it’s only vanilla or chocolate.”
“Is that so?” Captain was listening to her intently, and she was eating up the attention.
“Then on Fridays, we get a cupcake to celebrate all the birthdays that week, and sometimes we get red velvet. Those are my favorite. Except my friend Anna likes the chocolate ones best, so her favorite week isn’t my favorite week and . . .” Franny had her father’s attention, and she was on a roll. I leaned back and enjoyed my ice cream, while our daughter told Captain everything he could ever want to know about her life. She hardly came up for air. The only breaks he got were when she needed to take a lick of ice cream, and even then, he barely had a chance to catch his breath before she started talking again.
I stared out over the ocean, but every once in a while, I’d steal peeks at Captain to see how he was handling such a chatty nine-year-old. Every time, he looked fascinated. As if there was nothing she could say that would bore him. He nodded his head and said the right things at the right moments. This only made Franny more eager. I had a feeling she’d been saving it all up for this very day.
The way he interacted with her made it clear I’d been wrong to hold back from telling him about her. Hiding from him had been my way of protecting her, but had I really thought that the heart I once knew could be so different ten years later? Even if he had changed and hardened some, his goodness and protective instinct were still in there. I knew Franny had just become one of the luckiest little girls in the world.
Because when River Joshua Kipling decided you were worth protecting, he did it with everything he had.
Ten years ago
She was yelling, and we could hear her outside. River stopped at the front door and put his hand in front of me, holding me back. “You go to our spot at the pond. I’ll deal with her and then meet you there.”
If I didn’t go into that house, she’d be furious. He knew that. Last week, she had thrown a glass at his head when he sent me to my room and told me to lock the door. I wasn’t letting her do that again. Thank goodness his reflexes kept him from getting hit.
“No, I’m going in. She’s been threatening for weeks to send me away. I don’t want to give her a reason.” I knew that using my fear of leaving him would be the only way he would agree.
“I won’t let her.”
“River, you can’t stop her.”
“She won’t send you away, because she knows I’ll report her. I’ll call social services. I’ll leave, too. She knows it. You’re not going to be taken away from me.” The determination in his voice made me feel safe, even though I was standing outside a house with a madwoman raging inside.
“She’s on the phone with Dad,” he said, reaching down to squeeze my hand. “Go to the pond for me.”
I shook my head. “No. I won’t leave you here.”
River sighed, then turned to face me and placed both of his hands on my shoulders. He towered over me now at six feet. “Addy, please. I can handle her and calm her down. But if she hurts you, I will hurt her. I don’t want to hurt my mother. She needs help. I need to go in there knowing you’re safe.”
I stared up at him, wishing he wasn’t right. “I hate you having to deal with her alone. I hate being the reason.”
He pulled me close to him and lowered his mouth to my ear. “You’re my reason for everything.” Then he kissed me on the cheek and straightened back up.
In the midst of this insane moment, I had butterflies in my stomach going crazy. But he always had that effect on me. “I can’t remember what my life was like before you,” I told him honestly. “And I don’t want to remember.”
He smirked. “I remember what mine was like before you, and I don’t ever want to live without you again.”
Captain
After our ice-cream date, Addy agreed to bring Franny over for dinner in three days on her night off. I was trying to give them both time to adjust to having me in their lives, but I sure as hell didn’t want to wait that long. Watching Franny talk was fascinating. She was a ball of energy, and I felt like I had a lifetime to make up for with her.
The paperwork on my desk was waiting for me, but my head wasn’t on work. It was on the two girls in my life. The only two I would ever love.
A knock interrupted my thoughts. “Come in,” I called out.
Brad opened the door and stepped inside. I’d left a message for him to come see me. I had something we needed to discuss, and the kitchen wasn’t the place to do it.
“Hey, you need me?” he asked, looking like he’d just crawled out of bed.
“Late night?” I asked, hoping he’d say yes. I wanted his attention off of Addy.
He nodded. “Yeah, I was up late trying a new idea for a menu. Took me three tries, but I think I nailed it. I’ll make it today and let you try.” The guy was obsessed with food, but that was what made him the best.
