The Best Goodbye
Page 32
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They both needed to ease into this.
Or maybe I needed them to ease into it. Maybe it was just me who needed space and time to adjust. Franny had been mine alone for so long. Sharing her like this—her emotions, her love—was hard. I hadn’t expected that. I wanted her to have everything. I wanted her to know her father. I just didn’t want her ever to feel like I hadn’t been enough. That was my insecurity, though, and I knew it.
“Meeting in the dining room. The manager Captain’s training to take over is here. I hear he’s young and super hot,” Patricia informed me, as I went to stow my purse in the employee lounge.
“OK,” I replied.
I knew Captain wasn’t planning on staying. Everyone knew that. He hadn’t kept that from everyone. But I hoped he wasn’t leaving town. Not soon. Not now that I’d brought him into Franny’s life.
“Dining room, now. Everyone,” Elle called out in a bossy tone as she stepped into the room. Her gaze leveled on me, then she spun around and stalked off.
“Who wants to bet she fucks around with this one before the end of the week?” Daniel, one of the servers I didn’t know well, whispered. Several of the others giggled quietly and muffled their laughter.
I really hoped she would, but that was a selfish hope I wasn’t going to explore. I didn’t need to think about it.
“You’re not wearing your glasses,” Natalie Orchard said, smiling at me. “I knew something was different about you. I like you in contacts. Your eyes are killer awesome.”
There was no reason for me to wear the fake glasses now. I didn’t explain that I didn’t wear contacts. Instead, I just thanked her and followed everyone to the dining room.
I was unable to keep myself from scanning the room for Captain, and my eyes landed on him, then quickly looked away. I didn’t want him to catch me looking at him. I was still confused about my feelings for him. When he was with Franny, I saw River in his expression. The hardness melted away, and the smile that used to make all the bad things in my life OK would touch his lips, and I would feel a tug I didn’t want to feel. I wasn’t ready to feel. I was afraid to feel.
“He’s yummy,” a female server whispered.
“He’s all college-sexy,” another said behind her hand.
“Dammit. He’s straight. I can tell from here,” Kyle muttered under his breath. That got me smiling. Kyle had been lusting after Captain from afar since the first day. He was open about how attractive he thought Captain was and how Captain’s dangerous vibe made him sweaty and achy. That was more than I’d wanted to hear.
“No, he’s definitely into girls. He’s already checking Elle out,” Natalie grumbled.
“Because she’s flirting with him,” Daniel replied. “She’s either trying to make Captain jealous or mark her territory.”
“Captain’s not even paying attention. He’s looking this way,” Kyle said in a whisper. Then he turned to look at me and glanced back at Captain. “Or he’s looking at Rose. You do look dayum good without glasses.”
I smiled at Kyle. “Thank you.”
He swung his gaze back to the front of the room and nodded. “Yep. He’s checking out Rose.”
I didn’t want to look, but I was curious. Slowly, I turned my gaze to his, and our eyes locked immediately. He was watching me closely. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, and I couldn’t keep myself from smiling back.
“That shit’s hot,” Kyle drawled, and I jerked my gaze away from Captain and stared at my feet. Kyle chuckled, and Natalie let out a low whistle.
“Wowee. Someone caught the bad boy’s attention. He’s scary and hot all at the same time,” Kyle said.
I ignored that. They didn’t know Captain. They didn’t know the boy he was or the life he had endured. But I didn’t know what he’d lived through over the past ten years. Maybe the dangerous vibe they all got was real. An image of him laughing with Franny over a story she told him came back to me, and I shook the thought away. He wasn’t dangerous. They just thought his slightly too long, sun-streaked hair pulled back in a man bun and the thick scruff on his face made him look dangerous. But I liked that scruff. I liked it a lot. It made me think about things. Things I hadn’t had in a very long time.
“Someone’s face is bright red. What did I miss?” Hillary asked as she stepped up beside me.
“Oh, just boss man up there, checking Rose out,” Kyle supplied.
“How do you know he’s not checking me out?” Hillary asked in a haughty tone.
“Because you just got here, and he’s been zeroed in on that one since she walked into the room,” Natalie replied, clearly enjoying herself. There was friction between them that I hadn’t noticed before.
“Well, short stuff needs to get in line. He’s mine next. Elle is moving to the new guy, it seems, and I want some of that badass up there. He’ll look elsewhere once I get him alone for five minutes,” Hillary said, then brushed past us with a sway in her hips, straight for Captain.
“She’s a bitch,” Natalie said in a disgusted tone.
“Most women are,” Kyle said, then winked our way. “Present company excluded.”
I wanted to continue to look at the floor or out the window. Anywhere but where my gaze was determined to go. I had to watch. I wasn’t sure why. So what if she flirted with him and he liked it? He was my daughter’s father. He was my past. I had no claim on him. But when she leaned in to whisper in his ear and his attention shifted from me to her, my heart cracked just a little. I couldn’t help it. Old habits die hard.
Or maybe I needed them to ease into it. Maybe it was just me who needed space and time to adjust. Franny had been mine alone for so long. Sharing her like this—her emotions, her love—was hard. I hadn’t expected that. I wanted her to have everything. I wanted her to know her father. I just didn’t want her ever to feel like I hadn’t been enough. That was my insecurity, though, and I knew it.
“Meeting in the dining room. The manager Captain’s training to take over is here. I hear he’s young and super hot,” Patricia informed me, as I went to stow my purse in the employee lounge.
“OK,” I replied.
I knew Captain wasn’t planning on staying. Everyone knew that. He hadn’t kept that from everyone. But I hoped he wasn’t leaving town. Not soon. Not now that I’d brought him into Franny’s life.
“Dining room, now. Everyone,” Elle called out in a bossy tone as she stepped into the room. Her gaze leveled on me, then she spun around and stalked off.
“Who wants to bet she fucks around with this one before the end of the week?” Daniel, one of the servers I didn’t know well, whispered. Several of the others giggled quietly and muffled their laughter.
I really hoped she would, but that was a selfish hope I wasn’t going to explore. I didn’t need to think about it.
“You’re not wearing your glasses,” Natalie Orchard said, smiling at me. “I knew something was different about you. I like you in contacts. Your eyes are killer awesome.”
There was no reason for me to wear the fake glasses now. I didn’t explain that I didn’t wear contacts. Instead, I just thanked her and followed everyone to the dining room.
I was unable to keep myself from scanning the room for Captain, and my eyes landed on him, then quickly looked away. I didn’t want him to catch me looking at him. I was still confused about my feelings for him. When he was with Franny, I saw River in his expression. The hardness melted away, and the smile that used to make all the bad things in my life OK would touch his lips, and I would feel a tug I didn’t want to feel. I wasn’t ready to feel. I was afraid to feel.
“He’s yummy,” a female server whispered.
“He’s all college-sexy,” another said behind her hand.
“Dammit. He’s straight. I can tell from here,” Kyle muttered under his breath. That got me smiling. Kyle had been lusting after Captain from afar since the first day. He was open about how attractive he thought Captain was and how Captain’s dangerous vibe made him sweaty and achy. That was more than I’d wanted to hear.
“No, he’s definitely into girls. He’s already checking Elle out,” Natalie grumbled.
“Because she’s flirting with him,” Daniel replied. “She’s either trying to make Captain jealous or mark her territory.”
“Captain’s not even paying attention. He’s looking this way,” Kyle said in a whisper. Then he turned to look at me and glanced back at Captain. “Or he’s looking at Rose. You do look dayum good without glasses.”
I smiled at Kyle. “Thank you.”
He swung his gaze back to the front of the room and nodded. “Yep. He’s checking out Rose.”
I didn’t want to look, but I was curious. Slowly, I turned my gaze to his, and our eyes locked immediately. He was watching me closely. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, and I couldn’t keep myself from smiling back.
“That shit’s hot,” Kyle drawled, and I jerked my gaze away from Captain and stared at my feet. Kyle chuckled, and Natalie let out a low whistle.
“Wowee. Someone caught the bad boy’s attention. He’s scary and hot all at the same time,” Kyle said.
I ignored that. They didn’t know Captain. They didn’t know the boy he was or the life he had endured. But I didn’t know what he’d lived through over the past ten years. Maybe the dangerous vibe they all got was real. An image of him laughing with Franny over a story she told him came back to me, and I shook the thought away. He wasn’t dangerous. They just thought his slightly too long, sun-streaked hair pulled back in a man bun and the thick scruff on his face made him look dangerous. But I liked that scruff. I liked it a lot. It made me think about things. Things I hadn’t had in a very long time.
“Someone’s face is bright red. What did I miss?” Hillary asked as she stepped up beside me.
“Oh, just boss man up there, checking Rose out,” Kyle supplied.
“How do you know he’s not checking me out?” Hillary asked in a haughty tone.
“Because you just got here, and he’s been zeroed in on that one since she walked into the room,” Natalie replied, clearly enjoying herself. There was friction between them that I hadn’t noticed before.
“Well, short stuff needs to get in line. He’s mine next. Elle is moving to the new guy, it seems, and I want some of that badass up there. He’ll look elsewhere once I get him alone for five minutes,” Hillary said, then brushed past us with a sway in her hips, straight for Captain.
“She’s a bitch,” Natalie said in a disgusted tone.
“Most women are,” Kyle said, then winked our way. “Present company excluded.”
I wanted to continue to look at the floor or out the window. Anywhere but where my gaze was determined to go. I had to watch. I wasn’t sure why. So what if she flirted with him and he liked it? He was my daughter’s father. He was my past. I had no claim on him. But when she leaned in to whisper in his ear and his attention shifted from me to her, my heart cracked just a little. I couldn’t help it. Old habits die hard.
