The Broken Kingdoms
Page 73

 N.K. Jemisin

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“You dare—” Shiny rose to his feet.
“Of course I dare!” I gripped the table edge, hard enough to make my fingertips sting. “What’s wrong with you? You think just because you say something, I’ll obey? Will you kill me if I don’t? You think that makes you right? My gods, no wonder the Nightlord hates you, if that’s how you think!”
Silence fell. I had run out of rage. I waited for his, ready to throw it back at him, but he said nothing. And after a long, pent moment, I heard him sit down again.
“Please stay,” he said at last.
“What?” But I had heard him.
For a moment, I almost walked away, anyway. I was that tired of him. But he said nothing more, and in the silence, my anger faded enough that I realized what that quiet plea must have cost. It was not the way of the Bright to ask for what one wanted.
So I went to him. But when he touched my hand, I pulled back. “A trade,” I said. “You’ve taken enough from me. Give something back.”
He let out a long sigh and touched my hand again. I was surprised to find it trembling.
“Later, Oree,” he said, barely louder than a whisper. Completely confused, I reached up to touch his not-Maroneh hair with my free hand; his head was still bowed. “Later, I will tell you… everything. Not now. Please, just stay.”
I didn’t make a decision, not in any conscious way. I was still angry. But this time, when he tugged my hand, I let him draw me forward. I sat beside him again, and when he lay down, I let him pull me down as well, positioning me on my side and spooning himself behind me. He kept his arms loose so that I could get up if I needed to. He put his face into my hair, and I chose not to pull away.
I did not sleep for the rest of that night. I’m not certain he did, either.
“There may be a way for us to get free of this place,” Shiny said the next day.
It was noon. One of the Lights’ initiates had just left, after bringing us lunch and staying to see that we ate it all. He took away the leftovers and searched out my hiding places, too, to make sure there was no stored food under the mattress or rug. No chitchat this time, and no efforts to convert either of us. No one took me away for chores or lessons. I felt oddly neglected.
“How?” I asked, then guessed. “Your magic. It comes when you protect me.”
“Yes.”
I licked my lips. “But I’m in danger now—have been since the Lights took me.” There wasn’t the slightest glimmer of magic in him.
“It may be a matter of degree. Or perhaps a physical threat is required.”
I sighed, wanting to hope. “That’s more ‘may be’ and ‘perhaps’ than I like to hear. I don’t suppose anyone thought to give you instructions on how… you… work now?”
“No.”
“What do you propose, then? I pick a fight with Serymn, and when she fights back, you blow up the House and kill us all?”
There was a moment’s pause. I think my levity annoyed him.
“In essence, yes. Though there would be little logic in me killing you, so I’ll moderate the amount of force I use.”
“I appreciate your consideration, Shiny, really I do.”
So the rest of the day passed with aching slowness, as I waited and tried not to hope. Shiny, for all his promises to explain the previous day’s bizarre behavior, said nothing more about it. I gathered he was still recovering from his ordeal in the Empty; he’d slept through dawn, which he’d never done before, though he’d glowed as usual. That, plus my company, seemed to restore him. He had been his old taciturn self since he’d woken.
Still, I felt his eyes on me more often than usual that day, and once he touched me. It was when I’d gotten up to pace, fruitlessly hoping to vent restless energy. I brushed past Shiny, and he reached out to touch my arm in passing. I would have dismissed it as a mistake or my imagination if not for the previous evening. It was as if he needed contact now and again, for some reason that made no sense to me. Though when had anything about Shiny made sense?
I didn’t ask questions, preoccupied as I was with my own concerns—like Dateh’s revelation that I was a demon. I did not feel much like a monster. That didn’t make me eager to discuss it with Shiny, who had slaughtered my ancestors and banned his children from ever again creating more beings like me.
So I was content to let him keep his secrets for the time being.
Toward evening, I was almost relieved when there came a brisk knock at the door, followed by the arrival of another initiate. As I rose to follow the girl, Shiny simply stood and came to my side. I heard her splutter for a moment, caught off guard, but finally she sighed and took us both.