The Burning Claw
Page 50
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“Did Alina tell you why she was asking you to do this?” Costin asked.
Zara brushed the hair back from her face and slid her hands into the front pocket of her jeans. “She said that sometimes, after a crisis, or life altering event, the best way to heal is to be needed and to help others. Taking the focus off of myself and not allowing myself to wallow in something I can’t change. She said it was okay to mourn what I’d lost. It was okay to hurt and be angry. But she doesn’t want me to stay in those places. She wants me to move forward. The best way to move forward is to stop looking back.”
“Alina is one of a kind,” Costin told her and he wished he could smile to make the words more caring and less robotic. But there just wasn’t enough of him left to smile.
Costin wasn’t sure that this girl, who was dealing with God knows what, was the best person to care for his son. But Costin trusted Alina. He didn’t trust his wolf right now and when he felt a growl rolling up in his throat, he quickly turned away from the girl.
“He eats pretty much anything; don’t give him a lot of sugar. Bedtime is at 7:30 p.m. Don’t let him talk you into staying up later. Make sure he brushes his teeth.” Costin paused to think if there was anything else but his mind was a mess of anger, frustration, pain, and sorrow.
“Do what you need to do,” Zara told him. “I promise I’ll take good care of him.”
Costin waited for Titus to return and then picked the little boy up. He hugged him close, telling himself that he was doing the right thing, though it felt as though the rest of his heart was being torn from his chest. Sally had taken most of it, but Titus also held a piece of it.
Titus pulled back and put his small hands on either side of his face. “Don’t worry, Daddy. Mommy isn’t gone. She’s just a little lost.”
“I love—” Costin stopped as he choked back tears and then tried again. “I love you, Titus. So, so, much.”
“I love you, Daddy. I’ll be here when you get back.” Titus smiled at him and Costin felt that smile all the way to the dark places in his soul.
Costin pressed a kiss to his forehead and then set him down. Zara took Titus’ hand and began to lead him from the room while saying something about breakfast. Costin wasn’t exactly sure what she’d said because the constant growling in his mind was getting louder. His need to get out of the room, away from the four walls that were closing in on him, was like an itch that couldn’t be quelled no matter how much scratched it.
He glanced at the door and then over to the window. It would be a long jump, but it would also be faster. That was the only reason his wolf needed. Costin phased, letting his clothes tear away from his body and, once in his large wolf form, he ran head first at the window.
His head hit the glass and it didn’t even slow him down. He could have opened the window but then he wouldn’t have gotten to crash through it. Violence, blood, and death. Over and over his wolf snarled in his mind. There was no escaping it, no sating it, except with her. He needed his mate.
His paws hit the ground with surprising ease considering the height from which he had jumped. There was no pause in his movement. His body was fluid and powerful, like a raging river as he flew into the forest. Costin didn’t know if he would be able to pull himself back to take control of his wolf if he let the beast out to hunt. The darkness inside of him had grown, despite the fact that there was a still a bond, albeit an empty one, somewhere in his mind. The thought spurred him on and his legs moved faster. About two miles into the run he caught the scent of a large animal. He stopped and stuck his nose in the air, sniffing. When he had a lock on his target, he took off like a bullet.
Finally, he could let go and give into the needs of his wolf. His mouth watered with the coming meal and his heart beat faster, assisting his muscles in getting the oxygen they needed. When he was within a few feet of his prey, he realized his mistake. It hadn’t been just a large animal, but a large group of animals. A heard of wild boar grazed in the trees near a small creek. It had been awhile since he’d fought such a formidable foe and never without the help of his pack. But that was then. That was before he’d lost his mate and his soul.
His muzzle pulled back in a silent snarl. He took one step, then another, and another. His heart was pounding fast as adrenaline flooded his body. But it wasn’t just adrenaline that was flowing through his veins when he finally lunged, teeth bared, and claws extended. There was darkness infiltrating his very cells, and as his teeth sunk into the shoulder of the first boar, he could hear the darkness whispering in his mind, urging him to kill, to maim, and to bathe in the blood of his prey. Costin gave himself over to the darkness. He had been fighting it for so long and then Sally, his true mate, had come. But she’d been taken from him in the blink of an eye and, just like that, the darkness was back. Without her, he felt as though the sun had been forever eclipsed, along with its comforting warmth and light.
Chapter 12
“There are times in my life that I look back, of course, and wonder. What did I miss? Could I have prevented this outcome? Surely, there were clues. What was it that blinded me so thoroughly?” ~Prince Thalion
“We’ve been waiting for days, Thalion,” Cyn said in her cool, detached tone. He hated when she used that tone with him. He wasn’t just another male to her; he was her future husband and she his bride. With him, there should be no barriers, no glass walls. She so frequently employed those blockades with the rest of the world. Shouldn’t he be different?
“He is the king” he began but she interrupted him.
“Forgive me, but he’s the king of what? For as long as I have known you, you have ruled over your people. I do not really understand why Ludcarab carries such power over you. You have a kingdom behind you. What does he have?” she challenged, still in that detached tone of voice.
Thalion’s stomach clenched and it felt as though a thousand rocks had been dropped into it. If his father truly was alive, he knew exactly what his father had behind him. He had thought his father had chosen an honorable death many years ago, unable to live with his treachery. The elvin king had been caught having an affair. Thalion’s mother had been heartbroken. She’d always been the model queen to their realm—noble, wise, diplomatic. She’d hung on her husband’s every word and pampered him ridiculously because she loved him and her realm. She adored him and thought he felt the same for her. She died shortly after Thalion’s father left in the middle of the night. He’d left a note saying he would give his own life in repentance for the disrespect he’d shown his wife, the queen, and his people. After all, if a king can’t even be faithful to his own wife, then how could they trust him to be faithful to the kingdom?
Zara brushed the hair back from her face and slid her hands into the front pocket of her jeans. “She said that sometimes, after a crisis, or life altering event, the best way to heal is to be needed and to help others. Taking the focus off of myself and not allowing myself to wallow in something I can’t change. She said it was okay to mourn what I’d lost. It was okay to hurt and be angry. But she doesn’t want me to stay in those places. She wants me to move forward. The best way to move forward is to stop looking back.”
“Alina is one of a kind,” Costin told her and he wished he could smile to make the words more caring and less robotic. But there just wasn’t enough of him left to smile.
Costin wasn’t sure that this girl, who was dealing with God knows what, was the best person to care for his son. But Costin trusted Alina. He didn’t trust his wolf right now and when he felt a growl rolling up in his throat, he quickly turned away from the girl.
“He eats pretty much anything; don’t give him a lot of sugar. Bedtime is at 7:30 p.m. Don’t let him talk you into staying up later. Make sure he brushes his teeth.” Costin paused to think if there was anything else but his mind was a mess of anger, frustration, pain, and sorrow.
“Do what you need to do,” Zara told him. “I promise I’ll take good care of him.”
Costin waited for Titus to return and then picked the little boy up. He hugged him close, telling himself that he was doing the right thing, though it felt as though the rest of his heart was being torn from his chest. Sally had taken most of it, but Titus also held a piece of it.
Titus pulled back and put his small hands on either side of his face. “Don’t worry, Daddy. Mommy isn’t gone. She’s just a little lost.”
“I love—” Costin stopped as he choked back tears and then tried again. “I love you, Titus. So, so, much.”
“I love you, Daddy. I’ll be here when you get back.” Titus smiled at him and Costin felt that smile all the way to the dark places in his soul.
Costin pressed a kiss to his forehead and then set him down. Zara took Titus’ hand and began to lead him from the room while saying something about breakfast. Costin wasn’t exactly sure what she’d said because the constant growling in his mind was getting louder. His need to get out of the room, away from the four walls that were closing in on him, was like an itch that couldn’t be quelled no matter how much scratched it.
He glanced at the door and then over to the window. It would be a long jump, but it would also be faster. That was the only reason his wolf needed. Costin phased, letting his clothes tear away from his body and, once in his large wolf form, he ran head first at the window.
His head hit the glass and it didn’t even slow him down. He could have opened the window but then he wouldn’t have gotten to crash through it. Violence, blood, and death. Over and over his wolf snarled in his mind. There was no escaping it, no sating it, except with her. He needed his mate.
His paws hit the ground with surprising ease considering the height from which he had jumped. There was no pause in his movement. His body was fluid and powerful, like a raging river as he flew into the forest. Costin didn’t know if he would be able to pull himself back to take control of his wolf if he let the beast out to hunt. The darkness inside of him had grown, despite the fact that there was a still a bond, albeit an empty one, somewhere in his mind. The thought spurred him on and his legs moved faster. About two miles into the run he caught the scent of a large animal. He stopped and stuck his nose in the air, sniffing. When he had a lock on his target, he took off like a bullet.
Finally, he could let go and give into the needs of his wolf. His mouth watered with the coming meal and his heart beat faster, assisting his muscles in getting the oxygen they needed. When he was within a few feet of his prey, he realized his mistake. It hadn’t been just a large animal, but a large group of animals. A heard of wild boar grazed in the trees near a small creek. It had been awhile since he’d fought such a formidable foe and never without the help of his pack. But that was then. That was before he’d lost his mate and his soul.
His muzzle pulled back in a silent snarl. He took one step, then another, and another. His heart was pounding fast as adrenaline flooded his body. But it wasn’t just adrenaline that was flowing through his veins when he finally lunged, teeth bared, and claws extended. There was darkness infiltrating his very cells, and as his teeth sunk into the shoulder of the first boar, he could hear the darkness whispering in his mind, urging him to kill, to maim, and to bathe in the blood of his prey. Costin gave himself over to the darkness. He had been fighting it for so long and then Sally, his true mate, had come. But she’d been taken from him in the blink of an eye and, just like that, the darkness was back. Without her, he felt as though the sun had been forever eclipsed, along with its comforting warmth and light.
Chapter 12
“There are times in my life that I look back, of course, and wonder. What did I miss? Could I have prevented this outcome? Surely, there were clues. What was it that blinded me so thoroughly?” ~Prince Thalion
“We’ve been waiting for days, Thalion,” Cyn said in her cool, detached tone. He hated when she used that tone with him. He wasn’t just another male to her; he was her future husband and she his bride. With him, there should be no barriers, no glass walls. She so frequently employed those blockades with the rest of the world. Shouldn’t he be different?
“He is the king” he began but she interrupted him.
“Forgive me, but he’s the king of what? For as long as I have known you, you have ruled over your people. I do not really understand why Ludcarab carries such power over you. You have a kingdom behind you. What does he have?” she challenged, still in that detached tone of voice.
Thalion’s stomach clenched and it felt as though a thousand rocks had been dropped into it. If his father truly was alive, he knew exactly what his father had behind him. He had thought his father had chosen an honorable death many years ago, unable to live with his treachery. The elvin king had been caught having an affair. Thalion’s mother had been heartbroken. She’d always been the model queen to their realm—noble, wise, diplomatic. She’d hung on her husband’s every word and pampered him ridiculously because she loved him and her realm. She adored him and thought he felt the same for her. She died shortly after Thalion’s father left in the middle of the night. He’d left a note saying he would give his own life in repentance for the disrespect he’d shown his wife, the queen, and his people. After all, if a king can’t even be faithful to his own wife, then how could they trust him to be faithful to the kingdom?
