He swallowed. Rubbed his neck again. Looked around. Then he motioned at the rock. Can we lie down again? I think Ill do this better
If youre talking to the sky?
A half laugh, half snort. Yeah. Lame, I know, but
I stretched out on my back. He did the same.
So you went to the dance I prompted.
Right. And it was fine. I liked Serena. She was fun to be around, and easy to get along with and well, you know. There was no reason not to go out with her, since thats what she wanted and He paused. But thats not really a good enough reason to go out with someone either. I started figuring that out. Mostly because of the summer boys.
Her flirting with them? She
She didnt mean anything by it, I know. And I wasnt upset. I wasnt the least bit jealous or insulted and I started to realize that I should be. Even if I trusted her, I should have felt something when she flirted with other guys. Instead, Id almost hope
He rubbed his mouth. Blurted the words again. I almost hoped shed meet someone else. I played the whole thing out in my head. Id tell her it was okay, and we could still be friends. Thats when I realized I wasnt being fair, letting her think things were fine and keeping her from finding someone else. I had to end it.
I nodded.
Only doing it wasnt easy. I was close, really close when
She drowned.
He nodded.
Im sorry, I said. That must have been
Hell. He spat the word. It was hell. I felt like the biggest phony ever. The grieving boyfriend who hadnt even wanted to be her boyfriend anymore.
He sat up then. After a moment, he looked at me.
I did grieve. I missed her. I really did.
Like me. A grieving friend.
He nodded. Only no one would let me be that. It felt like everyone wanted me to be heartbroken, and when I wasnt
You felt guilty.
It was like they went back and rewrote our history. Sure, wed been going out for almost a year, but it it wasnt serious, you know? Not like Brooke and Alan, crazy about each other, cant keep their hands off each other, and everyone knows theyre going to get married and grow old together. With Seri and me, it was more like you and your summer boys. Just fun. No one expected it to be a forever thing. Then she died, and it was as if as if people wanted it to be more. More tragic. More romantic.
I dont think they meant that, I said. If I ever made you feel
You didnt. With you, Icould just be the guy who lost a good friend. Until
Until I started worrying about you not dating. Started thinking you and Serena had been more serious than I realized.
All I had to do was tell you the truth. Only I couldnt. At first, it felt like Id be dumping on you for no reason. By the time you started worrying about me, it was too late. I couldnt figure out how to say it.
Kind of like me and this skin-walker business?
A faint smile. I guess so.
I wish youd told me.
He met my gaze then. So do I.
I paused, then said, She was happy. Serena. If you had broken it off, shed have understood. She was Crazy about you. I couldnt say that, of course. It wouldnt make this easier. That last year She was really happy.
Good.
More silence. Less comfortable now. I glanced over at him. Time to change the subject.
So, you were going to tell me about your powers. Still up for it?
If you are.
Definitely.
Daniel said he first noticed changes in the boxing ringgetting faster and sharper, sensing blows before he even saw them coming. The persuasion, too. Hed always found it easy to persuade people to listen to him. Simple skills like paying attention, looking them in the eye and being firm when he spoke. Lately, though, it seemed too easy. Like with the tattoo artists aunthed been able to get her to talk after she refused to.
You gotta admit, thats one sweet power, I said.
You think so?
Um, yeah. Duh.
He glanced over. Well, I think being able to change into a cougar is cool, which you obviously arent so sure of. Maybe we can switch.
I laughed. I wish. Shape-shifting will probably be cool, eventually, but changing from human to cat? I dont think thats going to tickle. Persuasion, though? I dont see the downside.
No? So if I have this power, how do I know why people agree with me? Was I right when I persuaded the others not to go back for Nicole? Or did Hayley and Sam just agree because of my power?
No, you were right. And even if you did use your mojo, it obviously didnt work on me.
Thats good. He looked at me. If I do have this power, I hope it never works on you. I wouldnt want that.
Dont worry. You can count on me to keep telling you youre full of crap. And in this case, Im not sure it was working on anyone. Corey stayed undecided. I think you have to switch it on, like you do sometimes.
If youre talking to the sky?
A half laugh, half snort. Yeah. Lame, I know, but
I stretched out on my back. He did the same.
So you went to the dance I prompted.
Right. And it was fine. I liked Serena. She was fun to be around, and easy to get along with and well, you know. There was no reason not to go out with her, since thats what she wanted and He paused. But thats not really a good enough reason to go out with someone either. I started figuring that out. Mostly because of the summer boys.
Her flirting with them? She
She didnt mean anything by it, I know. And I wasnt upset. I wasnt the least bit jealous or insulted and I started to realize that I should be. Even if I trusted her, I should have felt something when she flirted with other guys. Instead, Id almost hope
He rubbed his mouth. Blurted the words again. I almost hoped shed meet someone else. I played the whole thing out in my head. Id tell her it was okay, and we could still be friends. Thats when I realized I wasnt being fair, letting her think things were fine and keeping her from finding someone else. I had to end it.
I nodded.
Only doing it wasnt easy. I was close, really close when
She drowned.
He nodded.
Im sorry, I said. That must have been
Hell. He spat the word. It was hell. I felt like the biggest phony ever. The grieving boyfriend who hadnt even wanted to be her boyfriend anymore.
He sat up then. After a moment, he looked at me.
I did grieve. I missed her. I really did.
Like me. A grieving friend.
He nodded. Only no one would let me be that. It felt like everyone wanted me to be heartbroken, and when I wasnt
You felt guilty.
It was like they went back and rewrote our history. Sure, wed been going out for almost a year, but it it wasnt serious, you know? Not like Brooke and Alan, crazy about each other, cant keep their hands off each other, and everyone knows theyre going to get married and grow old together. With Seri and me, it was more like you and your summer boys. Just fun. No one expected it to be a forever thing. Then she died, and it was as if as if people wanted it to be more. More tragic. More romantic.
I dont think they meant that, I said. If I ever made you feel
You didnt. With you, Icould just be the guy who lost a good friend. Until
Until I started worrying about you not dating. Started thinking you and Serena had been more serious than I realized.
All I had to do was tell you the truth. Only I couldnt. At first, it felt like Id be dumping on you for no reason. By the time you started worrying about me, it was too late. I couldnt figure out how to say it.
Kind of like me and this skin-walker business?
A faint smile. I guess so.
I wish youd told me.
He met my gaze then. So do I.
I paused, then said, She was happy. Serena. If you had broken it off, shed have understood. She was Crazy about you. I couldnt say that, of course. It wouldnt make this easier. That last year She was really happy.
Good.
More silence. Less comfortable now. I glanced over at him. Time to change the subject.
So, you were going to tell me about your powers. Still up for it?
If you are.
Definitely.
Daniel said he first noticed changes in the boxing ringgetting faster and sharper, sensing blows before he even saw them coming. The persuasion, too. Hed always found it easy to persuade people to listen to him. Simple skills like paying attention, looking them in the eye and being firm when he spoke. Lately, though, it seemed too easy. Like with the tattoo artists aunthed been able to get her to talk after she refused to.
You gotta admit, thats one sweet power, I said.
You think so?
Um, yeah. Duh.
He glanced over. Well, I think being able to change into a cougar is cool, which you obviously arent so sure of. Maybe we can switch.
I laughed. I wish. Shape-shifting will probably be cool, eventually, but changing from human to cat? I dont think thats going to tickle. Persuasion, though? I dont see the downside.
No? So if I have this power, how do I know why people agree with me? Was I right when I persuaded the others not to go back for Nicole? Or did Hayley and Sam just agree because of my power?
No, you were right. And even if you did use your mojo, it obviously didnt work on me.
Thats good. He looked at me. If I do have this power, I hope it never works on you. I wouldnt want that.
Dont worry. You can count on me to keep telling you youre full of crap. And in this case, Im not sure it was working on anyone. Corey stayed undecided. I think you have to switch it on, like you do sometimes.
