When I opened my eyes, he was watching me. Really watching me. I looked at the water pounding off his lean chest, trickling down to his soaked boxers, and and I wasnt thinking itd be nice to lean over and give him a chaste kiss. Really wasnt.
I was sure this would be a scene Id lock away to replay when I was alone, but for now, I couldnt cross that space between us. Hed brought me here to tell me something, and even if he hadnt, I wouldnt cross it, because that would lead to places I wasnt ready to go.
You dont make out half naked in a shower with a guy if you arent planning on going somewhere with it. Actually, you shouldnt be half naked in a shower with a guy if you arent planning on going somewhere with it. But under the current circumstances, normal rules didnt apply.
I eased forward and leaned up to his ear. Is this what you wanted?
He chuckled. Mmm, Id better not answer that. His gaze traveled down me, then zipped back to my face. Sorry.
Focus, Rafe.
I am. Just on the wrong thing. He leaned in to kiss me, but pulled back sharply, his face twisted in a look of pain, like hed just been jabbed in the back.
Are you okay?
No. Not really. His look then was so wistful I felt that chill again. Then he leaned down to my ear and whispered. Its a trap.
Sam? I whispered. You think they came while we were
No. Not Sam.
Then
I looked up into his face and saw the pain there, his eyes dark. Then I looked out the shower door at his clothing, dropped in the far corner of the bathroom.
If hed just wanted to talk to me in private, he could have gotten me aside easily. Just let me come with them to look at houses. Talk to me in one of them. Or in the forest. But hed been the one whod wanted me to stay behind. Whod suggested I take a shower.
I looked at his clothes again and whispered, Theyre bugged.
He didnt reply, but I saw the answer in his eyes. I backed toward the door. He caught me and slapped his hand over my mouth, then leaned down to my ear. Water trickled from his hair onto my shoulder.
I wont let them take you, Maya, he whispered. I swear I wont. Id never do that.
He pulled me back under the spray and spoke against my ear. They grabbed me when I got to town. Its the St. Clouds. They have Annie. Either I help them or they wont help her. I I had to, Maya.
His eyes pleaded with me to believe him. I did. Annie meant everything to him. If they had her, hed go along with any plan to save her. But that didnt mean Ididnt feel like Id been betrayed. By someone Id finally trusted.
I know this means its over, he whispered. I got a second chance, and I blew it, and I He swallowed and turned his head, his expression hidden behind the curtain of water. Id give anything not to do that. I would, Maya. I know you dont believe me, but its true.
When I pushed past the pain of betrayal, I did believe him. Because hed let go of my hand as we dangled from that helicopter. Because hed been ready to die to save me. And because even if he wasnt looking me in the face, I could hear the pain in his voice.
Its going to be okay, he said. I wouldnt let anything happen to you. I have a plan and youll be safe.
And the others?
Them, too. He looked at me again, still close enough to whisper through the pounding water, close enough for me to feel the heat of his breath. I know thats just as important to you, and I swear everyone will be okay. For now, though, you need to go along with the plan. Its the only way well get out of this place. And you cant tell the others.
What?
He gripped my arms and pulled me even closer, gaze locked on mine. They need to act like everythings okay, so you cant tell them. Not even Daniel.
I backed up, freeing myself.
Thats the deal-breaker, isnt it? he murmured. Daniel.
I trust
I know you do. But I dont, and not because I think hes untrustworthy, but because I dont know him well enough to be sure he wont screw up. The only person I trust is you.
Then trust me when I say you can trust him. But that was asking too much, because if the situation was reversed, Id say it was unfair. I trusted him. But would I put my familys life at risk if he gave his word that someone else could also be trusted? No.
If things go wrong, I have to tell him, I said. If hes in danger, I have to warn him.
Rafe hesitated, then nodded.
Theres no woman in Vancouver is there? I said as I pushed back my wet hair. The water was cooling now. No contacts your mom gave you.
No, thats a story they fed me. But were going to follow it, because getting you guys to Vancouver is the best chance you have.
You guys. Not us. Best chance you have. Not we.
When we get to Vancouver, youll pretend to suddenly realize its a trap, he said. Youll turn on me and youll run, and leave me behind.
I was sure this would be a scene Id lock away to replay when I was alone, but for now, I couldnt cross that space between us. Hed brought me here to tell me something, and even if he hadnt, I wouldnt cross it, because that would lead to places I wasnt ready to go.
You dont make out half naked in a shower with a guy if you arent planning on going somewhere with it. Actually, you shouldnt be half naked in a shower with a guy if you arent planning on going somewhere with it. But under the current circumstances, normal rules didnt apply.
I eased forward and leaned up to his ear. Is this what you wanted?
He chuckled. Mmm, Id better not answer that. His gaze traveled down me, then zipped back to my face. Sorry.
Focus, Rafe.
I am. Just on the wrong thing. He leaned in to kiss me, but pulled back sharply, his face twisted in a look of pain, like hed just been jabbed in the back.
Are you okay?
No. Not really. His look then was so wistful I felt that chill again. Then he leaned down to my ear and whispered. Its a trap.
Sam? I whispered. You think they came while we were
No. Not Sam.
Then
I looked up into his face and saw the pain there, his eyes dark. Then I looked out the shower door at his clothing, dropped in the far corner of the bathroom.
If hed just wanted to talk to me in private, he could have gotten me aside easily. Just let me come with them to look at houses. Talk to me in one of them. Or in the forest. But hed been the one whod wanted me to stay behind. Whod suggested I take a shower.
I looked at his clothes again and whispered, Theyre bugged.
He didnt reply, but I saw the answer in his eyes. I backed toward the door. He caught me and slapped his hand over my mouth, then leaned down to my ear. Water trickled from his hair onto my shoulder.
I wont let them take you, Maya, he whispered. I swear I wont. Id never do that.
He pulled me back under the spray and spoke against my ear. They grabbed me when I got to town. Its the St. Clouds. They have Annie. Either I help them or they wont help her. I I had to, Maya.
His eyes pleaded with me to believe him. I did. Annie meant everything to him. If they had her, hed go along with any plan to save her. But that didnt mean Ididnt feel like Id been betrayed. By someone Id finally trusted.
I know this means its over, he whispered. I got a second chance, and I blew it, and I He swallowed and turned his head, his expression hidden behind the curtain of water. Id give anything not to do that. I would, Maya. I know you dont believe me, but its true.
When I pushed past the pain of betrayal, I did believe him. Because hed let go of my hand as we dangled from that helicopter. Because hed been ready to die to save me. And because even if he wasnt looking me in the face, I could hear the pain in his voice.
Its going to be okay, he said. I wouldnt let anything happen to you. I have a plan and youll be safe.
And the others?
Them, too. He looked at me again, still close enough to whisper through the pounding water, close enough for me to feel the heat of his breath. I know thats just as important to you, and I swear everyone will be okay. For now, though, you need to go along with the plan. Its the only way well get out of this place. And you cant tell the others.
What?
He gripped my arms and pulled me even closer, gaze locked on mine. They need to act like everythings okay, so you cant tell them. Not even Daniel.
I backed up, freeing myself.
Thats the deal-breaker, isnt it? he murmured. Daniel.
I trust
I know you do. But I dont, and not because I think hes untrustworthy, but because I dont know him well enough to be sure he wont screw up. The only person I trust is you.
Then trust me when I say you can trust him. But that was asking too much, because if the situation was reversed, Id say it was unfair. I trusted him. But would I put my familys life at risk if he gave his word that someone else could also be trusted? No.
If things go wrong, I have to tell him, I said. If hes in danger, I have to warn him.
Rafe hesitated, then nodded.
Theres no woman in Vancouver is there? I said as I pushed back my wet hair. The water was cooling now. No contacts your mom gave you.
No, thats a story they fed me. But were going to follow it, because getting you guys to Vancouver is the best chance you have.
You guys. Not us. Best chance you have. Not we.
When we get to Vancouver, youll pretend to suddenly realize its a trap, he said. Youll turn on me and youll run, and leave me behind.
