The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires
Page 18

The use of “Petal” had me wincing. Gigi would give me hell if she heard him use that nickname, which, sadly, had worked on me once upon a time. Since Cal was staying put, I squared my shoulders and faced Paul full on. I had to be strong. I had to put a permanent end to this weird thing of ours. I had to keep Paul from seeing the smirking vampire hanging on my stair landing.
“Paul—”
“I’ve really missed you,” he said, tilting his head and giving me a crooked grin. “I’ve been thinking about us a lot lately.”
“Paul—”
“Haven’t you missed me?” he asked. “Aren’t you goin’ to invite me in?”
Why was he not noticing that so far, I’d only said his name?
“This isn’t a good time,” I told him.
“You’ve said that before.” He chuckled as he tried to step past me over the threshold.
“No,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder and holding him in place. It was a far more effective tactic with Paul than with Cal, since Paul didn’t have superstrength. “I can’t. I told you, it’s not a good time.”
He caught the way I glanced over my shoulder toward the stairs. He slid his hand around my wrist, his fingers shockingly warm after my having dealt with Cal for the last few days. My arms relaxed by degrees. “Are you OK? What’s goin’ on?”
“Nothing,” I insisted, stepping back out of his reach. “I told you, it’s just not a good time.”
“Are you sure nothin’s wrong?”
“Fine,” I promised. “I’m just working a lot, tired, you know?”
“You always have worked too hard.” He chuckled. “I could come in, make you one of my famous cheese omelets.”
“They’re famous because they’re the only thing you know how to cook.” I laughed, remembering the breakfast attempts that had resulted in Cajun-style “blackened” waffles. “And no, thanks. I appreciate the offer, but Gigi’s gone out with friends. I’ve got the house to myself, and I’m just going to go straight to bed.”
Paul’s eyes lit up, and I realized that I’d taken the exact conversational route I should have avoided. He thought I was about to issue an invitation. Oh … fudge.
“Well, that’s good news,” he said, taking another step inside the doorway, backing me inside. “Because I was hoping we could ‘catch up.’ ”
“Catching up”—another Paul code phrase, meaning “panties optional.”
I was spluttering an excuse when I felt a wintry hand slide around my waist. I tensed, and Cal’s smooth, honeyed voice said, “As a matter of fact, she’s busy at the moment. And if you don’t mind, we’d like to continue where we left off.”
I turned to find Cal smirking down at Paul. And he was shirtless. Shirtless, barefoot, with the top button of his jeans undone. Between that and my rumpled pajamas, it looked like Cal had just rolled out of bed to see why it was taking me so long to bring back the whipped cream and the padded handcuffs. It took all the dignity I had not to slap my palm over my forehead.
Suddenly, I wished I’d consumed a lot more vodka.
“Who the hell are you?” Paul’s tanned face flushed beet red. His wide brown eyes narrowed at me. “Iris, who is this?”
I stammered. “I—that is—uh, I—”
“I’m Cal.” The vampire grinned and slipped his arm from around my waist to extend his hand to Paul. I noticed that he didn’t drop his fangs … and he had adopted a softer version of our bluegrass drawl. His body language had relaxed, and he seemed to be intentionally moving at a slow, almost jerky pace. He was playing human bumpkin—pale human bumpkin but human all the same.
Looking at Cal’s hand as if he’d been offered dead squirrel à la mode, Paul spluttered, “Iris, honey, what the hell is going on?”
“Paul, I told you, it’s not a good time.”
“You’re seein’ someone else?” he exclaimed. “But you didn’t tell me.”
“Technically, I’m not seeing you,” I said, reluctantly adding, “right now.”
His cheeks flushed, as if he had just realized that this whole thing was playing out in front of a shirtless stranger.
“Paul, I’m sorry.”
“No, no.” He grimaced. “That’ll teach me not to call first, I guess. Really, I’m lucky this hasn’t happened before.”
It took me a moment to absorb his full meaning, before I cried, “Hey! That’s not fair!”
“You’re right,” he mocked, his hands up in a defensive position. “I’m just a little upset. I mean, it’s not every day you come over to your girlfriend’s house to find out she’s shacked up with a caveman.”
I scoffed. “Girlfriend?”
“Caveman?” Cal repeated, equally offended.
I pulled at the door before Cal could lumber after him. “I think it’s time for you to go.”
“Iris, can we talk about this?” he asked. “Just tell me what’s going on.”
“Go home, Paul.” I closed the door without another look at him.
“Wha—Iris! You call me if you need anythin’, you hear?” he shouted as the door swept his foot out of the way. Through the door, I heard him yell, “Hey, jackass, I’m calling tomorrow to make sure she’s OK. You hurt a hair on her head, and I’m calling the cops!”
I called, “That’s a little bit of an overreaction, Paul!”
“I don’t like the look of him, Iris!” Paul yelled back.
Cal turned toward the door, eyes narrowed. I had to hook my arm through his to keep him from grabbing for the doorknob. Weakened though he was, Cal still had all that vampire strength, so my shoulders took the brunt as Cal’s forward momentum drove me into the door. I shoved back, hooking my foot around his calf and throwing my weight against him. My hands shot to his shoulders to keep my balance, but my other foot slipped, and I ended up wrapping the other leg around his waist to keep from falling on my butt.
I heard Paul’s truck spin out on the gravel of my driveway, the Southern male equivalent of flouncing away. Struggling between his desire to get through the door and my climbing him like a particularly fetching tree, Cal snapped the knob from the door. He pulled it loose and stared at it incredulously.
For some reason, the sight of my big, bad vampire boarder standing in my foyer staring at my broken doorknob like it was an artifact from some alien civilization struck me as really funny. I roared with laughter, bending at the waist until my head thunked against Cal’s collarbone. I laughed until big, fat tears rolled down my cheeks. As I shook and keened, I became acutely aware of my legs wrapped around his hips, my weight centered over his zipper. And the more I squirmed around, the more that zipper bulged under me. I watched my tears make a watery trail down Cal’s collarbone, down his white skin, and onto my pajama pants. Tense little lines formed around Cal’s mouth as he tried to shift me away from his, er, growing problem.
Desperate to quell the silly, girlie giggle that threatened to bubble up from my chest, I pressed my lips together and pinned them with my teeth. Cal was starting to look uncomfortable … and tired. Even a man with superstrength couldn’t support my weight for any amount of time.
“Kill me now,” I grumbled. I felt Cal’s head duck closer to my throat. I shoved away, whacking my head against the door. I exclaimed, “Poor choice of words! I don’t have an actual death wish.”
“Well,” he quipped. “I can certainly see why you’re so attracted to him. It must be so convenient to have a companion you can stow away in your handbag.”
I groaned, swiping my hands over my eyes. “Why did you do that?”
Cal frowned, glancing down. “Well, you’re not an unattractive woman. It’s a natural reaction even for the undead.”
I burst out laughing. “No, not your, er, problem. Why did you come out here and act like we—like you’re my—why did you make Paul think we were together?”
He glowered at me, but there was no real heat in it. “Did you think I would just stand aside and let you go upstairs for … what did Gigi call it, a booty call?”
I poked his chest, his skin cool and silky against my fingertip. “First, I wouldn’t have done that with you in the house. And second, if I did, it wouldn’t be any of your business. My personal life is personal. This is a business arrangement, not a friendship.”
Cal frowned at this, his eyes scanning my face for a long moment before saying, “I didn’t like the way he talked to you. His attitude toward you, it’s condescending, disrespectful.”
“You talk to me with condescension and disrespect all the time,” I retorted.
“It’s different when I do it. You know I don’t really mean it.”
“No, actually, I don’t know that!” I exclaimed. “You’re all over the place. You sneer at me, but you kiss me. You have no attachment to me, and then you’re concerned about my well-being. It’s very confusing!”
Cal tilted his head, shifting me so that his hands cupped my cotton-covered ass. He gave me a jiggle, his tone teasing. “Oh, come now, are you really that upset? Gigi said your relationship was over a long time ago.”
“I do not like being used for your amusement,” I spat. “And don’t pretend you were doing it out of some urge to stick up for me or protect yourself. What happened to keeping a low profile? Not letting anyone know you’re here?”
“Does your Lilliputian ex-paramour have any contacts in the vampire world?” he asked.
I threw up my hands, which caused the support I held against his shoulders to disappear. He adjusted, pushing me against the door. I could feel the warmth pooling between my thighs as I slid down his length. My breath caught, and I braced my hands against his arms. I cleared my throat, searching for a steady voice. “Again with the short jokes.”
“Does he?”
I sighed. “No, Paul doesn’t have anything to do with vampires. He didn’t like that I worked with vampires. He was always worried that I would get hurt. By the way, slumping your shoulders and adopting a hick accent does not amount to a ‘human impersonation.’”
“It’s worked before.”
“It’s insulting.”
Cal pursed his lip, his eyes twinkling. “Are you sure you’re not upset because I made Paul think you’re unavailable?”
I jabbed my finger into his bare chest. “You know, I was completely happy before you showed up. My life wasn’t much, but it was mine. And when I’m no longer useful to you, you’re going to leave. And you’ll forget that I even existed.”
This would have been a really good time to walk away. But it’s really difficult to storm off when you’re straddling someone.
I tried to wriggle my way to my feet, but Cal held me fast against the door. He leaned closer, and I shied away. His mouth closed over mine, taking the air from my lungs. He pinned me to the door with his hips, and his hands slid up to my face. His rough, cool palms cradled my cheeks.
He tilted his forehead against mine. “That’s what you think?”
Before I could answer, his tongue glided easily over my lips, teasing them open. His mouth was cool and surprisingly fresh, although there was a subtle undertone of copper in his kiss. My knees sagged at the soft, insistent pressure that pulled my tongue past his lips. His hands slipped into my hair, pulling my face higher and closer to his as he pressed me back against the wall. Biting gently on my bottom lip, he nipped and nuzzled down the line of my chin to my ear.
I’d never kissed a vampire before. The lips were firmer and cooler, and the absence of breath against my skin was odd. I worried that I was too human, too weak, too plain. But soon even that thought evaporated into the ether, and every cell in my body fired for the sake of keeping me upright and attached to Cal’s mouth.