The Drafter
Page 105
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Peri, are you even listening to me?
Embarrassed, she pulled her eyes from the man. Im sorry, what?
Sandys thin eyebrows were furrowed. I said, cats steal the breath from babies.
Pitching her voice lower, Peri muttered, Well, Im not likely to have that problem, am I. It sounded bitter, even to her, and she wished she could take it back when Sandy reached for her hand. Peri stifled the urge to pull away, not wanting Sandy to think she was pining for a baby. A family. She wasnt. Not really. Shed made her choice a long time ago.
Its not too late, Sandy said softly, and Peri refused to show any new emotion. You have lots of time. Is that whats bothering you?
Peri exhaled, deciding to come out with it if only to speed this up. No, she said, meeting Sandys eyes. Its like half the people I know are gone, and the other half are treating me as if Im going to break. As if theyre afraid of what I might do, and I dont know why. Was I an ass-hat before I lost everything? Because thats the impression Im getting.
You werearenot an ass-hat, Sandy said frankly, and the man at the bar snorted.
Then what is it? she whispered. I have no friends but Allen, and even hes watching me as if I might suddenlyI dont know go off on a nut and break his face.
Allen has his own issues, Sandy said. You might have lost everything, but he hasnt, and until he lets go of you in the past, he cant appreciate you in the now, much less the future.
Loss. It was a recurring theme in her nightmares. She had loved someone, and now love was gone. I shouldnt have said anything. Now youll be evaluating him.
Oh, weve been doing that already, Sandy said drily. Ill talk to him.
I bet you will, she thought sourly, looking up when Allen came in with a wash of light.
Hello, ladies! he called, the sun glinting on his dark curls as he hoisted a paper bag. Frank! he shouted, though the man was nowhere to be seen. You want a doughnut?
Absofreakinglutely! came a muffled shout, and Frank strode in from the back room, thick hands working over a towel.
Peri shifted on the hearth to make room for everyone as Frank ambled over, but the large man took a nearby chair, turning it around and straddling it. Peris eye twitched, and she dismissed it. Frank wasnt putting space between them because he was afraid she was going to flip out. He was a psychologist, for Gods sake. But it still felt wrong, especially when Allen handed Peri her latte and sat beside Frank instead of her.
Allen ripped open the bag. Mmmm, creamfilling, Frank said as he took one, using a finger to catch the excess on his lips as he took a huge bite. Thanks.
Anyone want coffee? Sandy asked, sitting back in a mild huff when both Frank and Allen vigorously shook their heads. There is nothing wrong with my coffee, she grumbled, turning when the bars door opened and Bill came in.
Not when youre drunk, anyway, Frank said, laughing as she leaned across the space and smacked his thick leg.
This is nice, Bill said as he smiled at them clustered around the empty fireplace.
Theyre making fun of my coffee, Sandy complained. My coffee is fine!
I agree. It tastes like it was ground this morning, Bill said, and Allen smiled at the old joke, wiping his hand free from powdered sugar and shifting to sit beside Peri. For the first time, Peri felt things were getting back to normal, and she glanced at the man at the bar. Even Bill was ignoring him. He had to be an observer.
So, how you doing, Allen? Bill asked, and Allen glanced at Peri with a tentative smile.
Better by the hour, Bill. Better by the hour, he said, and Peri warmed.
The man at the bar turned, sitting to face them with his arms over his chest and a disapproving expression.
Youd better get a doughnut before theyre gone, Peri, Sandy said, and Peri took one even though she wasnt hungry.
Finally Bill sat down, and Peri slowly exhaled. Well, how is she? Bill asked.
Sandys entire demeanor shifted toward the professional. She looked at Frank, and he gestured for her to be forthright. Peris heart thumped. Shes lying about her nightmares, Sandy said.
I am not!
Allen took her hand. Peri, Id never leave you.
Sandy made a tiny puff of sound. Its not about you anchoring her, its about her needing more backstory for her life. Shut up, Allen. Ill get to you in a minute. The nightmares arent unusual. Its her wandering attention Im concerned about.
My attention is fine, Peri said, purposely not letting her gaze go to the man at the bar.
And she hasnt mentioned it, Sandy said almost hesitantly, but I think she still harbors a grudge against the alliance.
Peri worked to keep her breathing even so as not to show her anger. Silas Denier almost killed Allen, Peri said, and Frank gave Bill a sideways look, his thick arms crossed over his chest. And Im supposed to pretend it didnt happen? Allen will heal, but my three years are gone, so, yes, Im pissed. You going to put me in the hole because Im pissed?
Embarrassed, she pulled her eyes from the man. Im sorry, what?
Sandys thin eyebrows were furrowed. I said, cats steal the breath from babies.
Pitching her voice lower, Peri muttered, Well, Im not likely to have that problem, am I. It sounded bitter, even to her, and she wished she could take it back when Sandy reached for her hand. Peri stifled the urge to pull away, not wanting Sandy to think she was pining for a baby. A family. She wasnt. Not really. Shed made her choice a long time ago.
Its not too late, Sandy said softly, and Peri refused to show any new emotion. You have lots of time. Is that whats bothering you?
Peri exhaled, deciding to come out with it if only to speed this up. No, she said, meeting Sandys eyes. Its like half the people I know are gone, and the other half are treating me as if Im going to break. As if theyre afraid of what I might do, and I dont know why. Was I an ass-hat before I lost everything? Because thats the impression Im getting.
You werearenot an ass-hat, Sandy said frankly, and the man at the bar snorted.
Then what is it? she whispered. I have no friends but Allen, and even hes watching me as if I might suddenlyI dont know go off on a nut and break his face.
Allen has his own issues, Sandy said. You might have lost everything, but he hasnt, and until he lets go of you in the past, he cant appreciate you in the now, much less the future.
Loss. It was a recurring theme in her nightmares. She had loved someone, and now love was gone. I shouldnt have said anything. Now youll be evaluating him.
Oh, weve been doing that already, Sandy said drily. Ill talk to him.
I bet you will, she thought sourly, looking up when Allen came in with a wash of light.
Hello, ladies! he called, the sun glinting on his dark curls as he hoisted a paper bag. Frank! he shouted, though the man was nowhere to be seen. You want a doughnut?
Absofreakinglutely! came a muffled shout, and Frank strode in from the back room, thick hands working over a towel.
Peri shifted on the hearth to make room for everyone as Frank ambled over, but the large man took a nearby chair, turning it around and straddling it. Peris eye twitched, and she dismissed it. Frank wasnt putting space between them because he was afraid she was going to flip out. He was a psychologist, for Gods sake. But it still felt wrong, especially when Allen handed Peri her latte and sat beside Frank instead of her.
Allen ripped open the bag. Mmmm, creamfilling, Frank said as he took one, using a finger to catch the excess on his lips as he took a huge bite. Thanks.
Anyone want coffee? Sandy asked, sitting back in a mild huff when both Frank and Allen vigorously shook their heads. There is nothing wrong with my coffee, she grumbled, turning when the bars door opened and Bill came in.
Not when youre drunk, anyway, Frank said, laughing as she leaned across the space and smacked his thick leg.
This is nice, Bill said as he smiled at them clustered around the empty fireplace.
Theyre making fun of my coffee, Sandy complained. My coffee is fine!
I agree. It tastes like it was ground this morning, Bill said, and Allen smiled at the old joke, wiping his hand free from powdered sugar and shifting to sit beside Peri. For the first time, Peri felt things were getting back to normal, and she glanced at the man at the bar. Even Bill was ignoring him. He had to be an observer.
So, how you doing, Allen? Bill asked, and Allen glanced at Peri with a tentative smile.
Better by the hour, Bill. Better by the hour, he said, and Peri warmed.
The man at the bar turned, sitting to face them with his arms over his chest and a disapproving expression.
Youd better get a doughnut before theyre gone, Peri, Sandy said, and Peri took one even though she wasnt hungry.
Finally Bill sat down, and Peri slowly exhaled. Well, how is she? Bill asked.
Sandys entire demeanor shifted toward the professional. She looked at Frank, and he gestured for her to be forthright. Peris heart thumped. Shes lying about her nightmares, Sandy said.
I am not!
Allen took her hand. Peri, Id never leave you.
Sandy made a tiny puff of sound. Its not about you anchoring her, its about her needing more backstory for her life. Shut up, Allen. Ill get to you in a minute. The nightmares arent unusual. Its her wandering attention Im concerned about.
My attention is fine, Peri said, purposely not letting her gaze go to the man at the bar.
And she hasnt mentioned it, Sandy said almost hesitantly, but I think she still harbors a grudge against the alliance.
Peri worked to keep her breathing even so as not to show her anger. Silas Denier almost killed Allen, Peri said, and Frank gave Bill a sideways look, his thick arms crossed over his chest. And Im supposed to pretend it didnt happen? Allen will heal, but my three years are gone, so, yes, Im pissed. You going to put me in the hole because Im pissed?
