The Essence
Page 16
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Max smiled as he kissed me, and I knew he felt he’d won a minor victory.
Even though he’d never actually said the words, I knew he loved me. He’d proven himself time and time again: putting himself in harm’s way, challenging his grandmother on my behalf, showing his willingness to sacrifice himself, and pledging to keep me safe. But that didn’t mean we were ready to be married. I might be capable of ruling a country—or maybe I wasn’t, and Ludania would suffer simply because of the fact that I was born with royal blood in my veins—but I certainly wasn’t ready to be anyone’s wife. I wasn’t ready to claim a husband to rule by my side, even one that I could easily imagine spending the rest of my life with.
This wasn’t a decision to be made lightly, and queen or not, I wasn’t even of age yet. I hadn’t even finished school, something no one but me seemed concerned about.
Max knew my reasons, and I was sure he understood them. But it didn’t stop him from reminding me time and time again that he planned to outlast my obstinate rebuffs. That he would one day be my husband.
Although as far as I was concerned, he already belonged to me.
I pushed him down so I was leaning over him as he lay on his back once more. When my lips finally left his, they were tingling, stung by the currents that crossed between us. The curtain of my silver-blond hair fell over his much shorter, much darker hair as I cocked my head to the side and studied him. He was far more handsome than any man I’d ever dreamed of kissing as a girl, and more honorable than anyone I’d ever known, save my father. And when he looked at me the way he did now, I could almost believe I was as beautiful as he assured me I was—again and again. Something that seemed impossible when I didn’t see myself through his eyes.
“Are you sure I can do this?” I asked, when I trusted my voice not to falter.
His lazy smile grew. “Kiss? I’m certain of it. In fact, you’re rather skilled. Should I be worried about your mastery?”
I shoved him, and then I toppled forward, collapsing onto him so I could feel his heart beating beneath my cheek. “You know what I mean. The summit. Are you sure the other rulers will take me seriously? That I won’t make a fool of myself?”
“Oh, I’m positive you’ll make a fool of yourself.” His words were mocking, but his tone was serious and laced with tenderness.
I lifted my head to stare at him, and his knuckles reached up to graze my jawline thoughtfully. “But that shouldn’t stop you. And knowing you, it won’t. You were right, Charlie, Ludania needs this. I didn’t want you to go, but not because you can’t handle it, not because you’re not ready to face every queen on this planet. My own reasons are far more selfish.” He shrugged beneath me. “What can I say? I’m afraid. If I had my way you’d never leave the safety of the palace walls where I can at least guard against those who might try to harm you.” His mouth quirked upward, the shadow of a smile tugging at his lips. “But that’s not you, is it? You’ll go, and you’ll face those queens, and damned if you won’t win them over and convince them to do whatever you want them to in the process. You’ll have them eating out of your hands, I swear you will.”
Fueled by his unnecessary praise, I could feel my cheeks glowing. . . . in every sense of the word. His fervent support was both sweet and humbling.
“And if I don’t?”
He lifted his head, his forehead resting against mine, his gray eyes luminescent in the light coming off me. “Then it’ll be an adventure, won’t it? Either way, I plan to be there, watching over your every step.”
I sagged, letting the panic that had been weighing on me slip away. “You’re coming then?”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
niko
Pacing seemed to quiet his mind, but there was nothing he could do about the fire that ripped through him.
He hadn’t felt that kind of heat in more years than he cared to count.
It was her. It was most definitely her. He’d recognized it the moment he’d come face to face with her, the moment he’d nearly forgotten to bow before a queen.
Yet it wasn’t who she was he cared about, it was that flare of something within him he’d believed was long dead. That unnamable something that sparked to life the instant she looked at him with those pale blue eyes.
It was good to be alive again, he thought before he could quell the notion. But why the hell did she have to be this young queen? Why here? Why now?
Maybe it would have been better if that part of him had stayed buried, dead, after all.
Maybe ignorance truly was bliss.
It was too late now, though. The thoughts had been stirred, the feelings ignited. He wouldn’t be able to tell himself just to forget about her. She was here.
She was close.
v
The ambassador had left early the morning after his arrival, carrying with him my acceptance to attend the summit. I was both terrified and exhilarated. Now, besides preparations for my visit into the city, I had to cram in a lifetime of foreign decorum training into the two weeks before it was time to depart for the summit.
In my lessons, I discovered that greeting another queen with a friendly hello, or even a stately—and in my opinion, respectful—bow was completely unacceptable in many countries. Instead, I was forced to memorize the customary greetings for each nation whose queen would be in attendance at the conference. Or more important, which greeting would be considered offensive to which monarch. Queens, apparently, were a testy lot—something I not only needed to understand, but was expected to emulate in some people’s opinion.
Even though he’d never actually said the words, I knew he loved me. He’d proven himself time and time again: putting himself in harm’s way, challenging his grandmother on my behalf, showing his willingness to sacrifice himself, and pledging to keep me safe. But that didn’t mean we were ready to be married. I might be capable of ruling a country—or maybe I wasn’t, and Ludania would suffer simply because of the fact that I was born with royal blood in my veins—but I certainly wasn’t ready to be anyone’s wife. I wasn’t ready to claim a husband to rule by my side, even one that I could easily imagine spending the rest of my life with.
This wasn’t a decision to be made lightly, and queen or not, I wasn’t even of age yet. I hadn’t even finished school, something no one but me seemed concerned about.
Max knew my reasons, and I was sure he understood them. But it didn’t stop him from reminding me time and time again that he planned to outlast my obstinate rebuffs. That he would one day be my husband.
Although as far as I was concerned, he already belonged to me.
I pushed him down so I was leaning over him as he lay on his back once more. When my lips finally left his, they were tingling, stung by the currents that crossed between us. The curtain of my silver-blond hair fell over his much shorter, much darker hair as I cocked my head to the side and studied him. He was far more handsome than any man I’d ever dreamed of kissing as a girl, and more honorable than anyone I’d ever known, save my father. And when he looked at me the way he did now, I could almost believe I was as beautiful as he assured me I was—again and again. Something that seemed impossible when I didn’t see myself through his eyes.
“Are you sure I can do this?” I asked, when I trusted my voice not to falter.
His lazy smile grew. “Kiss? I’m certain of it. In fact, you’re rather skilled. Should I be worried about your mastery?”
I shoved him, and then I toppled forward, collapsing onto him so I could feel his heart beating beneath my cheek. “You know what I mean. The summit. Are you sure the other rulers will take me seriously? That I won’t make a fool of myself?”
“Oh, I’m positive you’ll make a fool of yourself.” His words were mocking, but his tone was serious and laced with tenderness.
I lifted my head to stare at him, and his knuckles reached up to graze my jawline thoughtfully. “But that shouldn’t stop you. And knowing you, it won’t. You were right, Charlie, Ludania needs this. I didn’t want you to go, but not because you can’t handle it, not because you’re not ready to face every queen on this planet. My own reasons are far more selfish.” He shrugged beneath me. “What can I say? I’m afraid. If I had my way you’d never leave the safety of the palace walls where I can at least guard against those who might try to harm you.” His mouth quirked upward, the shadow of a smile tugging at his lips. “But that’s not you, is it? You’ll go, and you’ll face those queens, and damned if you won’t win them over and convince them to do whatever you want them to in the process. You’ll have them eating out of your hands, I swear you will.”
Fueled by his unnecessary praise, I could feel my cheeks glowing. . . . in every sense of the word. His fervent support was both sweet and humbling.
“And if I don’t?”
He lifted his head, his forehead resting against mine, his gray eyes luminescent in the light coming off me. “Then it’ll be an adventure, won’t it? Either way, I plan to be there, watching over your every step.”
I sagged, letting the panic that had been weighing on me slip away. “You’re coming then?”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
niko
Pacing seemed to quiet his mind, but there was nothing he could do about the fire that ripped through him.
He hadn’t felt that kind of heat in more years than he cared to count.
It was her. It was most definitely her. He’d recognized it the moment he’d come face to face with her, the moment he’d nearly forgotten to bow before a queen.
Yet it wasn’t who she was he cared about, it was that flare of something within him he’d believed was long dead. That unnamable something that sparked to life the instant she looked at him with those pale blue eyes.
It was good to be alive again, he thought before he could quell the notion. But why the hell did she have to be this young queen? Why here? Why now?
Maybe it would have been better if that part of him had stayed buried, dead, after all.
Maybe ignorance truly was bliss.
It was too late now, though. The thoughts had been stirred, the feelings ignited. He wouldn’t be able to tell himself just to forget about her. She was here.
She was close.
v
The ambassador had left early the morning after his arrival, carrying with him my acceptance to attend the summit. I was both terrified and exhilarated. Now, besides preparations for my visit into the city, I had to cram in a lifetime of foreign decorum training into the two weeks before it was time to depart for the summit.
In my lessons, I discovered that greeting another queen with a friendly hello, or even a stately—and in my opinion, respectful—bow was completely unacceptable in many countries. Instead, I was forced to memorize the customary greetings for each nation whose queen would be in attendance at the conference. Or more important, which greeting would be considered offensive to which monarch. Queens, apparently, were a testy lot—something I not only needed to understand, but was expected to emulate in some people’s opinion.
