The Game Plan
Page 35

“I’m kissing you,” he whispers against my lips, “and already I miss you.”
A ragged breath leaves me, and I break away from him. Not that he lets me go far. He holds my cheeks and presses his forehead to mine. With his great height, the action makes it seem as though he’s sheltering me, his broad shoulders hunched, his thick arms surrounding me.
With another man it might be intimidating. I simply feel protected with Dex. Which makes all of this so much harder.
“That’s the point. I hate being left behind, Ethan. I hated it when my dad did it. I hated it when my mom decided to live in another country. I hate the idea of it now. I tried to tell you this before. But you’re…you, all sexy and sweet and strong and beautiful… God, I’m babbling. You make me babble, Ethan. No guy has ever made me do that. How am I supposed to resist you?”
“You don’t.” The corners of his eyes crinkle, but it doesn’t look like amusement; it looks like pain. Perhaps the same pain I’m feeling.
“Last night,” I tell him, “was… I’ve never felt that before. Not just the sex, although…Hell, Ethan Dexter, you rock my world.” My fingers tighten on his jaw. “I know I said I’d try but… Shit…now I know it will slowly kill me not to have all of you.”
“You have me,” he rasps as though I’m killing him now. “You fucking have all of me.”
His declaration rips through my heart. We’ve only had a few days together. Already he knows as well as I do that the connection we made altered us. But I’m afraid I can only bend so far before I break. My throat swells tight.
“That’s the thing. I don’t have you. I will never have you with me all of the time.”
His body jerks, and I’m the one holding tight, afraid he’ll pull away.
“Ethan, I wouldn’t change you for the world. Football is part of who you are. Take that away, and I take away an essential component of you. But it doesn’t change the fact that if I don’t pull back now, I’ll regret it.”
He steps away, shoving his fisted hands deep in his jeans pockets. Massive muscles bunch along his shoulders and down his arms. His expression is like stone, but Dex was never very good with hiding emotion in his eyes. Maybe he doesn’t want to be. So much pain there. Anger too.
“I never want to be a regret to you, Fiona.” His throat works on a swallow, and he glances away, giving me his strong profile. “I don’t want to let you go. But if that’s what you want, I’ll respect your decision.”
So fucking grown up. I don’t feel like one. I’m the stupid kid who makes all the wrong choices. Is this one of them? I’m trying to do the right thing, and I know my usual self would toss caution to the wind and screw the consequences. But that’s led me down too many bad roads.
This is the smart choice. End it now before I turn into a whining, nagging leech girlfriend.
An unsteady breath leaves me. “I—”
He holds up a hand, his eyes still not meeting mine. “I can’t. Whatever it is you want to say just…” He moves then, faster than I’d have ever imagined.
Before I can even blink, he has me, his hands fisting my hair, his mouth on mine. It’s hard—his grip, his touch. He takes me, parting my lips with his, plunging his tongue in deep.
My knees do that weak thing again as he kisses the ever-loving fuck out of me. I can’t even hold on, I’m too dizzy with the feel of him just taking what he wants.
When my air runs out, his lips leave mine on a soft gasp. Dex rests his forehead against my heated cheek. The tips of his thumbs run along my skin. And when he talks, his voice is so rough, I almost don’t recognize it.
“Goodbye, Fiona Mackenzie. You rock my world too.”
And then he’s gone, walking out of the room and not turning back to see me fall.
Chapter Sixteen
Dex
Usually I do my running up and down stadium stairs, or towing a weighted sled while doing relays—brutal workouts designed to increase my strength and mental toughness or develop intense bursts of speed. Jogging along a flat trail is more of a luxury than a workout. Out here, I can soak up the scenery, get some much-needed fresh air.
Unfortunately, I’m not as fast as Gray, and the little shit catches up with me about a mile in. How he found me is some sort of Houdini magic because I sure as shit didn’t tell him where I was going.
“Hey,” he says as he comes alongside me.
I think I grunt. I’m not really in a talking mood.
“I’m guessing you know Fi left,” he says carefully.
I glance his way before facing forward again. “Say what you’re going to say, Grayson, and let me get on with my run.”
“Do you know how long I’ve waiting to have a heart-to-heart with you? Shit, Drew’s gonna be so jealous he wasn’t here.”
So glad my pain is such an event.
He must read this on my face because he winces. “Sorry. I suck at this. I’m not you.”
“Yeah, usually I lead in with a thought-provoking question, then wander away to let you work it out on your own.” I nod toward the path behind us. “Feel free to skip to the wandering part.”
“Nice try, Big D.”
At our side, the Golden Gate Bridge rises out of the morning fog. It’s beautiful. Almost peaceful. Only Gray won’t let me have any peace.
“You’re just going to let her go?”