The Goddess Inheritance
Page 76
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My mother leaned her head against mine and drew me into her arms. “It is not your fault either,” she croaked, but there was conviction in her voice. “Cronus would have never saved her, even if you’d been by his side and fulfilled your promises to him. Honor means nothing to him. He is defined by the power he has, and all you did was bruise his ego. You did not change who he is or who he chooses to be.”
I hiccupped. “I hated her so much. I thought—I blamed her for everything, and all she was trying to do was help me or—look after Milo or—or save Nicholas’s life. And Walter—”
“Walter did what he had to do in order to win the war.” My mother tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “He has his own demons to face now.”
My chin trembled. “I should’ve done something. I should’ve listened or—or fought for her or forgiven her or—anything.”
“You did,” said James. “You did all of those things. Your mother’s right. It isn’t your fault, it isn’t her fault, it isn’t—it isn’t Ava’s fault. It’s Calliope’s. And she’s gone now. There’s nothing more we can do but remember Ava and keep on loving her.”
I nodded tightly. I could give her that, and I would. We all would.
In the cradle, Milo let out a soft cry. “It seems like someone’s eager to see you again,” said my mother. Despite her red-rimmed eyes, she managed a smile as she scooped him up. “Do you want to hold him?”
More than anything in the world. As I reached for him, however, I hesitated. A few more inches, and I would feel him. He was really there. An invisible barrier full of questions and doubts held me back, and I lowered my hands into my lap. “What if I can’t do this? What if I can’t be his mother?”
“You already are,” she said, and I shook my head.
“I’m not as good at this or—or as strong as you are.”
She rested her head against mine again, and her hair tickled my neck. “Yes, you are. In so many ways, you’re stronger than I’ve ever been. Sadness doesn’t equal weakness, sweetheart. If anything, it shows the love you have inside you, and nothing stronger in this world exists. Ava knew that better than all of us.”
A shadow moved in the doorway. “Your mother’s right, you know,” said Henry. “The best way we can honor Ava is by loving the people in our lives as much as we can. That’s all she would have wanted.” Sitting on the mattress beside me, he gave my mother a smile. “I see you’ve met my son.”
“He’s beautiful,” said my mother, and Milo let out another soft wail. “He wants you, Kate.”
Wiping my cheeks with my bloody sleeves, I nodded. My mother placed Milo in my arms, and he settled against me, a perfect fit. He was warmer than I’d expected, and heavier, as well. Turning his head toward me, he nuzzled my chest, and my heart nearly burst.
“Just like this,” murmured my mother, adjusting my elbow so I was supporting his head. “There you go.”
“Look at that,” said James. “You’re a natural.”
As Milo calmed, he stared up at me with his big blue eyes. Whatever connection we’d managed to forge before intensified, and in that moment, my world shifted. He was so beautiful and innocent, and I would spend eternity making sure he had the chance to stay that way. He would never know war or hatred or the agony of loss. He would never spend his days counting down to a loved one’s last. He would never feel alone or unworthy or unloved. He would know happiness. He would know peace. He would know family. And he would always have me and Henry.
A tear dripped down my chin, falling and hitting Milo on the nose. He made a face, and Henry chuckled.
My mother stood. “I’ll leave you three be,” she said, and though she was smiling, the grief hadn’t left her voice. I wasn’t sure it ever would completely. Together she and James exited the room, closing the door behind them.
“He looks so much like you,” murmured Henry. “Every time I held him, all I could see was your face. I missed you, Kate.”
I brushed my knuckles gently against Milo’s cheek. He may have had my eyes, but he had Henry’s dark hair. And his ears. “Whatever happened on the island between you and Calliope...”
He tensed. “Kate, I—”
“It doesn’t matter.” I looked at him. “You did what you had to do to protect Milo. I know that.”
His hand slid up my back, and he squeezed my shoulder. “Nothing happened. Ava never used her powers on me. I was pretending the entire time.”
I leaned forward and kissed him. His lips were sweet against mine, and I didn’t let him go until Milo whimpered between us. We both knew pretending meant he’d somehow had to convince her he loved her. Part of me burned with the need to hear everything, but none of it mattered, and I wasn’t about to let Calliope hurt us from the grave. Whatever Henry had endured, we would get through it together. One day, if he wanted to talk about it, I would listen. But until then, I would pretend I believed him. To protect and love him the way he protected and loved me.
We were a family, and no one, not Calliope, not Cronus, not even death itself, could take that from us.
Chapter 20
Eternal
Sometime during the night, I untangled myself from Henry and slipped out of bed. He slept soundly, clearly exhausted after the battle, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fall asleep.
I hiccupped. “I hated her so much. I thought—I blamed her for everything, and all she was trying to do was help me or—look after Milo or—or save Nicholas’s life. And Walter—”
“Walter did what he had to do in order to win the war.” My mother tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “He has his own demons to face now.”
My chin trembled. “I should’ve done something. I should’ve listened or—or fought for her or forgiven her or—anything.”
“You did,” said James. “You did all of those things. Your mother’s right. It isn’t your fault, it isn’t her fault, it isn’t—it isn’t Ava’s fault. It’s Calliope’s. And she’s gone now. There’s nothing more we can do but remember Ava and keep on loving her.”
I nodded tightly. I could give her that, and I would. We all would.
In the cradle, Milo let out a soft cry. “It seems like someone’s eager to see you again,” said my mother. Despite her red-rimmed eyes, she managed a smile as she scooped him up. “Do you want to hold him?”
More than anything in the world. As I reached for him, however, I hesitated. A few more inches, and I would feel him. He was really there. An invisible barrier full of questions and doubts held me back, and I lowered my hands into my lap. “What if I can’t do this? What if I can’t be his mother?”
“You already are,” she said, and I shook my head.
“I’m not as good at this or—or as strong as you are.”
She rested her head against mine again, and her hair tickled my neck. “Yes, you are. In so many ways, you’re stronger than I’ve ever been. Sadness doesn’t equal weakness, sweetheart. If anything, it shows the love you have inside you, and nothing stronger in this world exists. Ava knew that better than all of us.”
A shadow moved in the doorway. “Your mother’s right, you know,” said Henry. “The best way we can honor Ava is by loving the people in our lives as much as we can. That’s all she would have wanted.” Sitting on the mattress beside me, he gave my mother a smile. “I see you’ve met my son.”
“He’s beautiful,” said my mother, and Milo let out another soft wail. “He wants you, Kate.”
Wiping my cheeks with my bloody sleeves, I nodded. My mother placed Milo in my arms, and he settled against me, a perfect fit. He was warmer than I’d expected, and heavier, as well. Turning his head toward me, he nuzzled my chest, and my heart nearly burst.
“Just like this,” murmured my mother, adjusting my elbow so I was supporting his head. “There you go.”
“Look at that,” said James. “You’re a natural.”
As Milo calmed, he stared up at me with his big blue eyes. Whatever connection we’d managed to forge before intensified, and in that moment, my world shifted. He was so beautiful and innocent, and I would spend eternity making sure he had the chance to stay that way. He would never know war or hatred or the agony of loss. He would never spend his days counting down to a loved one’s last. He would never feel alone or unworthy or unloved. He would know happiness. He would know peace. He would know family. And he would always have me and Henry.
A tear dripped down my chin, falling and hitting Milo on the nose. He made a face, and Henry chuckled.
My mother stood. “I’ll leave you three be,” she said, and though she was smiling, the grief hadn’t left her voice. I wasn’t sure it ever would completely. Together she and James exited the room, closing the door behind them.
“He looks so much like you,” murmured Henry. “Every time I held him, all I could see was your face. I missed you, Kate.”
I brushed my knuckles gently against Milo’s cheek. He may have had my eyes, but he had Henry’s dark hair. And his ears. “Whatever happened on the island between you and Calliope...”
He tensed. “Kate, I—”
“It doesn’t matter.” I looked at him. “You did what you had to do to protect Milo. I know that.”
His hand slid up my back, and he squeezed my shoulder. “Nothing happened. Ava never used her powers on me. I was pretending the entire time.”
I leaned forward and kissed him. His lips were sweet against mine, and I didn’t let him go until Milo whimpered between us. We both knew pretending meant he’d somehow had to convince her he loved her. Part of me burned with the need to hear everything, but none of it mattered, and I wasn’t about to let Calliope hurt us from the grave. Whatever Henry had endured, we would get through it together. One day, if he wanted to talk about it, I would listen. But until then, I would pretend I believed him. To protect and love him the way he protected and loved me.
We were a family, and no one, not Calliope, not Cronus, not even death itself, could take that from us.
Chapter 20
Eternal
Sometime during the night, I untangled myself from Henry and slipped out of bed. He slept soundly, clearly exhausted after the battle, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t fall asleep.
