The Heart's Ashes
Page 141

“All of it?”
Jason pressed his lips together. “So I’m told.”
I rolled my head to the other side and nearly cried for the way Eric, so stiff, standing so tall, focused on Jason with what I interpreted to be hatred.
“If you want to leave, Eric, now is the time,” Jason said.
“No. I’ll stay.” He snapped out of his trance and touched my hand, wrapping his warm fingers around mine.
“Eric.” My stomach tightened. “Please. Don’t let him do this?”
“It’s not up to him, Ara.” Jason towered over me again and concentrated on my chest, opening my dress again to the cool, damp air.
“Please?” I looked at Jason. “This is madness. You can’t cut out my heart—it’s insane.” I looked at Eric again when Jason rolled his eyes. “Eric. You’re standing right there—stop him. What if I’m human? What if I’m not Lilithian? Don’t you know what this will do to me?”
Eric sighed and looked at Jason.
“Eric?” I said. “Just do something. Please. Please don’t let him hurt me.”
“Stop talking.” Jason tilted a shiny scalpel into the orange glow of the torches and studied it.
“Jason. You can’t be serious.” I closed my eyes. Oh God. God, now’s the time. Please, there has to be someone—it can’t end like this. My head spun, my breath coming in smooth, nausea-filled lungfuls.
Jason offered a tool, a metal letter F, to Eric. “I’ll cut, you open her.”
“No. Jason. Don’t.” I rolled up from my ribs, no longer caring if the cuffs tore my wrists; the whole chair rattled under the force of my fear becoming a physical manifestation. “Let me go. Let me out of here.”
“Eric. Shut her up.”
“No. Eric, no. Please, we were friends. Please.”
Eric sat the clamp beside my leg and stood behind me, his waist against the crown of my head. “Amara, you need to stop. Please. Just don’t scream. I can’t bear it.”
“You can’t?” Tears streaked the sides of my face. “Please. I have no control. Don’t—just reach out. Just grab his hand. You have to.” I wriggled as Jason set the cold, pinching scalpel to my chest. “Oh God. Eric—just stop him.”
He didn’t move though. He didn’t move.
I screamed in one long, high-pitched wail.
“Shh.” Eric cupped my mouth, muffling my scream. “It’s okay, beautiful girl, I’ll make it stop.”
No. My eyes grew wide, bulging with pressure as his hand forced down against my nose and lips. I shook my head.
I can’t breathe.
My knees bent slightly and shifted against the chair, the wetness around my ankles, probably blood, making it easier to slide my leg up a little, but not get my foot out; my wrists tugged hard at the clamps as my hips twisted, lifting as I struggled to break out of his suffocating hold.
Not like this. I want to go home. I want my dad. Please just let me go home.
“Shh.” He closed his eyes.
My stomach shook, frantically trying to imitate breath, but there was none to have. The blood pulsed to my head, making it heavy, tight, dizzy.
I’m not a vampire. I’m just a girl. Human…huma…
A tight narrowing in my throat forced saliva to fill my mouth under my tongue. My shoulders jolted violently under me, fighting for that last hope of air as my chest hiccupped, rubbing the walls of my empty lungs together.
I stared up at Eric, tears streaming my face, while his eyes stayed focused, hard. “Shh,” he said softly, his gaze travelling to something across the room.
Eric—you’re suffocating me. I’m not a vampire, I’m just a…
The shiver of panic eased and a soft, slow ringing filled my ears, rolling me back—my body floating outward, headed for the sea...
“Shh, just breathe.” A soft, whispery voice broke through the darkness, and the howling in my dream scattered to the sides of my subconscious. “Just breathe, beautiful girl—you can do it.”
“Take short, sharp, breaths, Ara. You will recover more quickly,” Jason advised in a dull tone, his voice forcing a painful emotional sting.
I swallowed a sludgy, spicy mucous, pooling under my tongue, and drew a deep, tight breath. It came through my lungs with a high-pitched rasp, and when the air touched the back of my throat, it sliced the raw passage, like searing razors. I coughed out my anguish and closed my mouth, pressing my lips together as a flood of warm, greasy liquid slimed between them.
What are they pouring in my mouth?
“It’s human blood.” Jason answered my thought.
“Why?” I cried, gargling as he forced my lips apart.
“To see what reaction it has on you.”
I shifted the muscles deep in my oesophagus until the liquid travelled down—spilling out the sides of my mouth where Jason held them open. My hands clenched and a fierce rush of heat tightened my muscles.
No. It burns. Get the fuck off me.
Taking a breath, I opened my eyes, and as another flood of the foul tasting goo trickled over my tongue, coughed, sending splatters of blood over Jason’s already covered face.
“Swallow,” he said through his teeth, clamping my chin with his fingertips, pressing his thumbs into my cheeks. “I’ll let you open your mouth when you swallow.”
Blocking the passage to my stomach with the back of my tongue, the liquid floated along the insides of my cheeks, and I cried, making only a strange “Unnngg” sound.
“That’s enough,” Eric said, grabbing Jason’s arm.
“Do you have a problem with the maltreatment of a Lilithian, Eric?” Jason released me and backed away.
With a strange whimpering groan, I lifted my head, spattering the blood—warm and wet—all over my chin and down my neck where it dribbled onto my chest, pooling against my gown around my ribs.
It’s no good. I can’t get it all out. Damn it, I swallowed. Oh God, I swallowed.
The unwelcome, unnatural substance scraped the inside of my throat, grabbing the lining of stomach with its clawing nails and slapping the muscles—making them heave and shift like leeches were swimming around in there.
“Help!” I cried, lifting one shoulder. “I’m gonna be sick.” Where are they? My fingers curled and hot liquid bubbled in my gut, shimmying its way up the narrow passage leading back out to my lips.