The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms
Page 30

 N.K. Jemisin

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I started. He grinned.
You were glad to see me until you saw what I was reading.
Oh.
Well?
I wondered Abruptly I felt foolish. How many problems did I have right now? Why was I obsessing over the dead?
Sieh drew up and folded his legs, and waited. I sighed.
I wondered if you could tell me what you know of of my mother.
Not Dekarta, or Scimina, or Relad? Or even my peculiar family? He cocked his head, and his pupils doubled in size in the span of a breath. I stared, momentarily distracted by this. Interesting. What brings this on?
I met Relad today. I groped for words to explain further.
Quite a pair, arent they? Him and Scimina. The stories I could tell you about their little war
I dont want to know about that. My voice was too sharp as I said it. I hadnt meant to let him see how much the meeting with Relad had troubled me. I had expected another Scimina, but the drunken, bitter reality was worse. Would I become another Relad if I did not escape Sky soon?
Sieh fell silent, probably reading every thought on my face. So it did not entirely surprise me when a look of calculation came into his eyes, and he gave me a lazy, wicked smile.
Ill tell you what I can, he said. But what will you give me in return?
What do you want?
His smile faded, his expression changing to one of utter seriousness. I said it before. Let me sleep with you.
I stared at him. He shook his head quickly.
Not as a man does with a woman. He actually looked revolted by the notion. Im a child, remember?
You arent a child.
As gods go, I am. Nahadoth was born before time even existed; he makes me and all my siblings combined look like infants. He shifted again, wrapping arms around his knees. He looked terribly young, and terribly vulnerable. Still, I was not a fool.
Why?
He uttered a soft sigh. I just like you, Yeine. Does there have to be a reason for everything?
Im beginning to think so, with you.
He scowled. Well, there isnt. I told you; I do what I like, whatever feels good, as children do. Theres no logic to it. Accept that or not, as you please. Then he put his chin on one knee and looked away, doing as perfect a sulk as Id ever seen.
I sighed, and tried to consider whether saying yes to him would somehow make me susceptible to Enefadeh trickery or some Arameri plot. But at last it came to me: none of that mattered.
I suppose I should be flattered, I said, and sighed.
Instantly Sieh brightened and bounded over to my bed, pulling back the bedcovers and patting my side of the mattress. Can I brush your hair?
I could not help laughing. You are a very, very strange person.
Immortality gets very, very boring. Youd be surprised at how interesting the small mundanities of life can seem after a few millennia.
I came to the bed and sat down, offering him the brush. He all but purred as he took hold of it, but I held on.
He grinned. I have a feeling Im about to have my own bargain thrown back in my face.
No. But it only seems wise, when bargaining with a trickster, to demand that he hold up his end of the deal first.
He laughed, letting go of the brush to slap his leg. Youre so much fun. I like you better than all the other Arameri.
I did not like that he considered me Arameri. ButBetter than my mother? I asked.
He sobered, then settled against me, leaning on my back. I liked her well enough. She didnt often command us. Only when she had to; other than that she left us alone. The smart ones tend to do that, exceptions like Scimina notwithstanding. No sense getting to know your weapons on a close personal basis.
I did not like hearing such a casual dismissal of my mothers motives, either. Perhaps she did it on principle. So many of the Arameri abuse their power over you. It isnt right.
He lifted his head from my shoulder and looked at me for a moment, amused. Then he lay back down. I suppose it could have been that.
But you dont think so.
Do you want truth, Yeine? Or comfort? No, I dont think it was principle that made her leave us alone. I think Kinneth simply had other things on her mind. You could see that in her eyes. A drive.
I frowned, remembering. There had been a driven look to her, yes; a grim, unyielding sort of resolve. There had been flickers of other things, too, especially when shed thought herself unobserved. Covetousness. Regret.
I imagined her thoughts when, sometimes, she had turned that look on me. I will make you my instrument, my tool, to strike back at them, perhaps, though she would have known far better than me how slim my chances were. Or perhaps, At last, here is my chance to shape a world, even if it is only that of a child. And now that I had seen what Sky and the Arameri were like, a new possiblity came to me. I will raise you sane.