The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms
Page 52

Mischief, not politics!
You should go and tell the others my terms. I made myself pick up the fork and eat some relish.
Sieh stared at me, then finally let out a shaky laugh. I dont believe this. Youre crazier than Naha. He got to his feet and rubbed a hand over his hair. Yougods. He seemed not to notice the strangeness of his oath. Ill talk to them.
I inclined my head formally. I shall await your answer.
Muttering in his strange language, Sieh summoned his yellow ball and left through the bedroom wall.
They would accept, of course. Whether I won or lost, they would get the freedom they wantedunless, of course, I chose not to give it to them. So they would do whatever it took to keep me agreeable.
Reaching for another leafroll, I concentrated on chewing slowly so that my ill-used stomach would not rebel. It was important that I recover quickly. I would need my strength in the time to come.
15
Hatred
I SEE MY LAND BELOW ME. It passes underneath, as if I am flying. High ridges and misty, tangled valleys. Occasional fields, even rarer towns and cities. Darr is so green. I saw many lands as I traveled across High North and Senm on the way to Sky, and none of them seemed half as green as my beautiful Darr. Now I know why.
* * *
I slept again. When I woke, Sieh still had not returned, and it was night. I did not expect an answer from the Enefadeh anytime soon. I had probably annoyed them by my refusal to trudge obediently to death. If I were them, I would keep me waiting awhile.
Almost as soon as I woke, there was a knock at the door. When I went to answer, a bony-faced servant boy stood very straight and said, with painful formality, Lady Yeine. I bear a message.
Rubbing sleep from my eyes, I nodded permission for him to continue, and he said, Your grandsire requests your presence.
And suddenly I was very, very awake.
* * *
The audience chamber was empty this time. Just me and Dekarta. I knelt as I had that first afternoon, and laid my knife on the floor as was customary. I did not, to my own surprise, contemplate using it to kill him. Much as I hated him, his blood was not what I wanted.
Well, he said from his throne. His voice sounded softer than before, though that may have been a trick of perception on my part. Have you enjoyed your week as an Arameri, Granddaughter?
Had it been only a week?
No, Grandfather, I said. I have not.
He uttered a single laugh. But now, perhaps, you understand us better. What do you think?
This I had not expected. I looked at him from where I knelt, and wondered what he was up to.
I think, I said slowly, the same thing that I thought before I came here: that the Arameri are evil. All that has changed is that now I believe most of you are mad as well.
He grinned, wide and partially toothless. Kinneth said much the same thing to me once. She included herself, however.
I resisted the immediate urge to deny this. Maybe thats why she left. Maybe, if I stay long enough, Ill become as evil and mad as the rest of you.
Maybe. There was a curious gentleness in the way he said this that threw me. I could never read his face. Too many lines.
Silence rose between us for the next several breaths. It plateaued; stalled; broke.
Tell me why you killed my mother, I said.
His smile faded. I am not one of the Enefadeh, Granddaughter. You cannot command answers from me.
Heat washed through me, followed by cold. I rose slowly to my feet. You loved her. If you had hated her, feared her, that I could have understood. But you loved her.
He nodded. I loved her.
She was crying when she died. We had to wet her eyelids to get them open
You will be silent.
In the empty chamber, his voice echoed. The edge of it sawed against my temper like a dull knife.
And you love her still, you hateful old bastard. I stepped forward, leaving my knife on the floor. I did not trust myself with it anymore. I moved toward my grandfathers highbacked not-throne, and he drew himself up, perhaps in anger, perhaps in fear. You love her and mourn her; its your own fault and you mourn her, and you want her back. Dont you? But if Itempas is listening, if he cares at all about order and righteousness or any of the things the priests say, then I pray to him now that you keep loving her. That way youll feel her loss the way I do. Youll feel that agony until you die, and I pray thats a long, long time from now!
By this point I stood before Dekarta, bent down, my hands on the armrests of his chair. I was close enough to see the color of his eyes at lasta blue so pale that it was barely a color at all. He was a small, frail man now, whatever hed been in his prime. If I blew hard, I might break his bones.
But I did not touch him. Dekarta did not deserve mere physical pain any more than he deserved a swift death.