The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms
Page 55

 N.K. Jemisin

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16
Sar-enna-nem
THE PRIESTS DO MENTION THE GODS WAR sometimes, mainly as a warning against heresy. Because of Enefa, they say. Because of the Betrayer, for three days people and animals lay helpless and gasping for air, hearts gradually slowing and bellies bloating as their bowels ceased to function. Plants wilted and died in hours; vast fertile plains turned to gray desert. Meanwhile the sea we now call Repentance boiled, and for some reason all the tallest mountains were split in half. The priests say that was the work of the godlings, Enefas immortal offspring, who each took sides and battled across the earth. Their fathers, the lords of the sky, mostly kept their fight up there.
Because of Enefa, the priests say. They do not say, because Itempas killed her.
When the war finally ended, most of the world was dead. What remained was forever changed. In my land, hunters pass down legends of beasts that no longer exist; harvest songs praise staples long lost. Those first Arameri did a great deal for the survivors, the priests are careful to note. With the magic of their war-prisoner gods they replenished the oceans, sealed the mountains, healed the land. Though there was nothing to be done for the dead, they saved as many as they could of the survivors.
For a price.
The priests dont mention that, either.
* * *
There had in fact been very little business to discuss. In light of the looming ceremony, the Enefadeh needed my cooperation more than ever, and sowith palpable annoyanceKurue agreed to my condition. We all knew there was little chance I could become Dekartas heir. We all knew the Enefadeh were merely humoring me. I was content with that, so long as I did not think about it too deeply.
Then one by one they vanished, leaving me with Nahadoth. He was the only one, Kurue had said, who had the power to carry me to and from Darr in the nights few remaining hours. So in the silence that fell, I turned to face the Nightlord.
How? he asked. The vision, he meant, of his defeat.
I dont know, I said. But its happened before. I had a dream once, of the old Sky. I saw you destroy it. I swallowed, chilled. I thought it was just a dream, but if what I just saw is what really happened Memories. I was experiencing Enefas memories. Dearest Skyfather, I did not want to think about what that meant.
His eyes narrowed. He wore that face againthe one I feared because I could not help wanting it. I fixed my eyes on a point just above his shoulder.
It is what happened, he said slowly. But Enefa was dead by then. She never saw what he did to me.
And I wish I hadnt. But before I could speak, Nahadoth took a step toward me. I very quickly took a step back, and he stopped.
You fear me now?
You did try to rip out my soul.
And yet you still desire me.
I froze. Of course he would have sensed that. I said nothing, unwilling to admit weakness.
Nahadoth moved past me to the window. I shivered as he passed; a tendril of his cloak had curled round my calf for just an instant in a cool caress. I wondered if he was even aware of this.
What exactly do you hope to accomplish in Darr? he asked.
I swallowed, glad to be on another subject. I need to speak with my grandmother. I thought of using a sigil sphere, but I dont understand such things. There could be a way for others to eavesdrop on our conversation.
There is.
It gave me no pleasure to be right. Then the questions must be asked in person.
What questions?
Whether its true what Ras Onchi and Scimina said, about Darrs neighbors arming for war. I want to hear my grandmothers assessment of the situation. And I hope to learn I felt inexplicably ashamed. More about my mother. Whether she was like the rest of the Arameri.
I have told you already: she was.
You will forgive me, Lord Nahadoth, if I do not trust you.
He turned slightly, so that I could see the side of his smile. She was, he repeated, and so are you.
The words, in his cold voice, hit me like a slap.
She did this, too, he continued. She was your age, perhaps younger, when she began asking questions, questions, so many questions. When she could not get answers from us with politeness, she commanded themas you have done. Such hate there was in her young heart. Like yours.
I fought the urge to swallow, certain he would hear it.
What sort of questions?
Arameri history. The war between my siblings and I. Many things.
Why?
I have no idea.
You didnt ask?
I didnt care.
I took a deep breath and forced my sweaty fists to unclench. This was his way, I reminded myself. There had been no need for him to say anything about my mother; he just knew it was the way to unsettle me. I had been warned. Nahadoth didnt like to kill outright. He teased and tickled until you lost control, forgot the danger, and opened yourself to him. He made you ask for it.