The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms
Page 85
- Background:
- Text Font:
- Text Size:
- Line Height:
- Line Break Height:
- Frame:
Kurues scowl deepened. Naha, no. I started a little; I had never heard anyone contradict him. Its her fault youre in this condition.
I flushed, but she was right. Yet there was no answer from within the chamber. Kurues fists clenched, and she glared into the darkness with a very ugly look.
Would it help if I wore a blindfold? I asked. There was something in the air that hinted at a long-standing anger beyond just this brief exchange. Ah, but of courseKurue hated mortals, quite rightly blaming us for her enslaved condition. She thought Nahadoth was being foolish over me. Most likely she was right about that, too, being a goddess of wisdom. I did not feel offended when she looked at me with new contempt.
It isnt just your eyes, Kurue said. Its your expectations, your fears, your desires. You mortals want him to be a monster and so he becomes one
Then I will want nothing, I said. I smiled as I said it, but I was annoyed now. Perhaps there was wisdom in her blind hatred of humankind. If she expected the worst from us, then we could never disappoint her. But that was beside the point. She was in my way, and I had business to complete before I died. I would command her aside if I had to.
She stared at me, perhaps reading my intentions. After a moment she shook her head and made a dismissive gesture. Fine, then. Youre a fool. And so are you, Naha; you both deserve each other. With that, she walked away, muttering as she rounded a corner. I waited until the sound of her footfalls stoppednot fading, but simply vanishingthen turned to face the open door.
Come, said Nahadoth from within.
I cleared my throat, abruptly nervous. Why did he frighten me at all the wrong times? Begging your pardon, Lord Nahadoth, I said, but perhaps Id better stay out here. If its true that just my thoughts can harm you
Your thoughts have always harmed me. All your terrors, all your needs. They push and pull at me, silent commands.
I stiffened, horrified. I never meant to add to your suffering.
There was a pause, during which I held my breath.
My sister is dead, Nahadoth said very softly. My brother has gone mad. My childrenthe handful who remainhate and fear me as much as they revere me.
And I understood: what Scimina had done to him was nothing. What was a few moments suffering beside the centuries of grief and loneliness that Itempas had inflicted on him? And here I was, fretting over my own small addition.
I opened the door and stepped inside.
Within the chamber, the darkness was absolute. I lingered near the door for a moment, hoping my eyes would adjust, but they did not. In the silence after the door closed I made out the sound of breathing, slow and even, some ways away.
I put out my hands and began groping my way blindly toward the sound, hoping gods had no great need of furniture. Or steps.
Stay where you are, Nahadoth said. I am not safe to be near. Then, softer, But I am glad you came.
This was the other Nahadoth, thennot the mortal, but not the mad beast of a cold winters tale, either. This was the Nahadoth who had kissed me that first night, the one who actually seemed to like me. The one I had the fewest defenses against.
I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on the soft empty dark.
Kurue is right. Im sorry. Its my fault Scimina punished you.
She did it to punish you.
I winced. Even worse.
He laughed softly, and I felt a breeze stir past me, soft as a warm summer night. Not for me.
Point. Is there anything I can do to help you?
I felt the breeze again, and this time it tickled the tiny hairs on my skin. I had a sudden image of him standing just behind me, holding me close and exhaling into the curve of my neck.
There was a soft, hungry sound from the other side of the room, and abruptly lust filled the space around me, powerful and violent and not remotely tender. Oh, gods. I quickly fixed my thoughts again on darkness, nothing, darkness, my mother. Yes.
It seemed to take a long time, but eventually that terrible hunger faded.
It would be best, he said with disturbing gentleness, if you make no effort to help.
Im sorry
You are mortal. That seemed to say it all. I lowered my eyes, ashamed. You have a question about your mother.
Yes. I took a deep breath. Dekarta killed her mother, I said. Was that the reason she gave, when she agreed to help you?
I am a slave. No Arameri would confide in me. As I told you, all she did was ask questions at first.
And in return, you asked for her help?
No. She still wore the blood sigil. She could not be trusted.
Involuntarily I raised a hand to my own forehead. I continually forgot the mark was there. I had forgotten that it was a factor in Sky politics as well. Then how
She bedded Viraine. Prospective heirs are usually told about the succession ceremony, but Dekarta had commanded that the details be kept from her. Viraine knew no better, so he told Kinneth how the ceremony usually goes. I assume that was enough for her to figure out the truth.
I flushed, but she was right. Yet there was no answer from within the chamber. Kurues fists clenched, and she glared into the darkness with a very ugly look.
Would it help if I wore a blindfold? I asked. There was something in the air that hinted at a long-standing anger beyond just this brief exchange. Ah, but of courseKurue hated mortals, quite rightly blaming us for her enslaved condition. She thought Nahadoth was being foolish over me. Most likely she was right about that, too, being a goddess of wisdom. I did not feel offended when she looked at me with new contempt.
It isnt just your eyes, Kurue said. Its your expectations, your fears, your desires. You mortals want him to be a monster and so he becomes one
Then I will want nothing, I said. I smiled as I said it, but I was annoyed now. Perhaps there was wisdom in her blind hatred of humankind. If she expected the worst from us, then we could never disappoint her. But that was beside the point. She was in my way, and I had business to complete before I died. I would command her aside if I had to.
She stared at me, perhaps reading my intentions. After a moment she shook her head and made a dismissive gesture. Fine, then. Youre a fool. And so are you, Naha; you both deserve each other. With that, she walked away, muttering as she rounded a corner. I waited until the sound of her footfalls stoppednot fading, but simply vanishingthen turned to face the open door.
Come, said Nahadoth from within.
I cleared my throat, abruptly nervous. Why did he frighten me at all the wrong times? Begging your pardon, Lord Nahadoth, I said, but perhaps Id better stay out here. If its true that just my thoughts can harm you
Your thoughts have always harmed me. All your terrors, all your needs. They push and pull at me, silent commands.
I stiffened, horrified. I never meant to add to your suffering.
There was a pause, during which I held my breath.
My sister is dead, Nahadoth said very softly. My brother has gone mad. My childrenthe handful who remainhate and fear me as much as they revere me.
And I understood: what Scimina had done to him was nothing. What was a few moments suffering beside the centuries of grief and loneliness that Itempas had inflicted on him? And here I was, fretting over my own small addition.
I opened the door and stepped inside.
Within the chamber, the darkness was absolute. I lingered near the door for a moment, hoping my eyes would adjust, but they did not. In the silence after the door closed I made out the sound of breathing, slow and even, some ways away.
I put out my hands and began groping my way blindly toward the sound, hoping gods had no great need of furniture. Or steps.
Stay where you are, Nahadoth said. I am not safe to be near. Then, softer, But I am glad you came.
This was the other Nahadoth, thennot the mortal, but not the mad beast of a cold winters tale, either. This was the Nahadoth who had kissed me that first night, the one who actually seemed to like me. The one I had the fewest defenses against.
I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on the soft empty dark.
Kurue is right. Im sorry. Its my fault Scimina punished you.
She did it to punish you.
I winced. Even worse.
He laughed softly, and I felt a breeze stir past me, soft as a warm summer night. Not for me.
Point. Is there anything I can do to help you?
I felt the breeze again, and this time it tickled the tiny hairs on my skin. I had a sudden image of him standing just behind me, holding me close and exhaling into the curve of my neck.
There was a soft, hungry sound from the other side of the room, and abruptly lust filled the space around me, powerful and violent and not remotely tender. Oh, gods. I quickly fixed my thoughts again on darkness, nothing, darkness, my mother. Yes.
It seemed to take a long time, but eventually that terrible hunger faded.
It would be best, he said with disturbing gentleness, if you make no effort to help.
Im sorry
You are mortal. That seemed to say it all. I lowered my eyes, ashamed. You have a question about your mother.
Yes. I took a deep breath. Dekarta killed her mother, I said. Was that the reason she gave, when she agreed to help you?
I am a slave. No Arameri would confide in me. As I told you, all she did was ask questions at first.
And in return, you asked for her help?
No. She still wore the blood sigil. She could not be trusted.
Involuntarily I raised a hand to my own forehead. I continually forgot the mark was there. I had forgotten that it was a factor in Sky politics as well. Then how
She bedded Viraine. Prospective heirs are usually told about the succession ceremony, but Dekarta had commanded that the details be kept from her. Viraine knew no better, so he told Kinneth how the ceremony usually goes. I assume that was enough for her to figure out the truth.
