The Iron Warrior
Page 20

 Julie Kagawa

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“I hope so,” I muttered, crumpling the wrapper in my fist. “The Forgotten were after me, not him. I just hope they keep looking for us and leave him and his family alone.”
Kenzie went quiet, chewing on her bar. I fell silent, too, thinking, and in the stillness, the questions rose up, taunting me. Now that we weren’t running for our lives or trying to find a way through the Nevernever, a thousand uncertainties crowded my mind, slipping past my defenses. Annwyl. Was she alive? Could we find her and the amulet before it was too late? My parents. Was Mom crying herself to sleep every night, waiting for me? Would I ever get to go home?
And Keirran. My stupid, stubborn, infuriating nephew. How were we going to deal with him? To get his soul back, Guro said he had to destroy the amulet himself. Willingly. I remembered the Keirran at the war council, the faery with flat, cold eyes, and the impossibility of the task seemed overwhelming. That Keirran was not going to do anything we asked of him. That Keirran would probably shove another sword through my guts and then cut off my head to make sure he killed me this time.
“Ethan?” Kenzie asked in a hesitant voice, staring straight ahead. “Can I ask you something?”
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one with questions. “Sure.”
“You were gone for over four months.” Turning, she gazed at me, not angry, just puzzled. And maybe a little hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me you were still alive? All that time, back in the human world, I thought you were dead. Why didn’t you send word, let me know you were okay?”
I swallowed hard. Oh, yeah. She hadn’t known I was asleep that whole time. Maybe I should’ve explained that little fact earlier. “I couldn’t,” I murmured back. “After Keirran stabbed me, I was in a coma for a long time. I’ve really only been awake a few days now, and when I woke up, everything was crazy, with Keirran and the war. I didn’t have time to do anything.” She blinked, looking relieved that there was an explanation, that I hadn’t just forgotten about her. I could see it in her eyes, the fear that I’d left her behind again.
Reaching out, I tugged her toward me, and she relented without hesitation, sliding over my leg and sitting down between my knees. I wrapped my arms around her stomach and leaned in, resting my chin on her shoulder. “I didn’t mean to worry you,” I said quietly, as she relaxed against me. “I would’ve sent word if I could.”
She sighed, reaching back and burying her fingers in my hair. I half closed my eyes, just holding her, feeling the rise and fall of her breath. In this small pocket of reality, everything was peaceful. Overhead, fireflies bobbed through the air like stars, and luminescent moths floated lazily past, attracted to the glowing curtain of moss. I let myself relax a bit, feeling content, at least for the moment. Kenzie was here, and nothing had attempted to eat my face off. Pretty good day in the Nevernever so far.
Kenzie sighed. “I wish we could stay here, sometimes,” she whispered, sounding wistful all of a sudden. “In the Nevernever. I wish we didn’t have to go home.”
Mildly alarmed, I raised my head. “We have to go back, Kenzie,” I said, and she didn’t answer, raising my concern. “We can’t stay here,” I insisted. “What about your family? And school? If we stay here too long, everything in the real world will pass us by. There won’t be anything left that we remember.”
“Yeah,” Kenzie muttered, but she didn’t sound convinced. “I know. I wasn’t being serious. It’s just...” Her voice faltered. “I’m scared, Ethan. The past few months have been...rough.” She sighed again, her gaze dark and far away. “I didn’t mean to complain. Sometimes it just gets to me, that’s all. Sometimes I wish I had the same chance as everyone else.”
My stomach prickled, even as the girl shook herself, as if coming out of her dark mood. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter,” she said brightly. “I know we can’t stay here, tough guy. Don’t freak out on me.” She tilted her head back, resting it on my shoulder. “When we finish this thing with Keirran and Annwyl, I fully intend to go home and face whatever nuclear explosion my dad has in store when he sees us again.”
I frowned. There was something else, something she wasn’t telling me. Normally, Kenzie didn’t let anything get to her, but ever since she’d come back to Faery, she seemed slightly different. “What happened?” I asked, making her stiffen. “Those months where I was gone, you said they were bad. What happened to you?”
“Nothing,” Kenzie answered quickly, hunching her shoulders. “Don’t worry about it, Ethan. It’s over now. There’s nothing you can do.”
“Kenzie.” She slumped, and I lowered my voice, pleading. “Please. I want to know. Was it...your sickness?”
She sighed. “Yeah,” she finally whispered. “I...um... Dammit, I didn’t want to explain it here, but I guess you should know.”
She hesitated, took a deep breath. I sat perfectly still, waiting for her to go on, reminding myself that it couldn’t be too terrible. Kenzie was here, after all. That’s what mattered now.
“After I heard you...died,” she began in a faltering voice, “I got sick. Really sick. I was transferred back to my home hospital, and I didn’t leave for a long time. They...they were afraid that this might be it, that I wasn’t going to get better this time. It was kind of touch and go for a while.” She swallowed, and I held her tighter, feeling my stomach twisting in on itself. “Of course, I wasn’t helping anything,” she went on. “I thought you were dead, and that I had killed you when I sent you off with Keirran. I was...well, I was pretty depressed. I wasn’t even trying to get better.”
I closed my eyes, pressing my forehead to the back of her skull. Kenzie wove her fingers through mine and squeezed.
“I did, eventually,” she finally whispered. “I rallied, pulled out of it, and they finally sent me home. At that point, I couldn’t even bear to look at the fey again. Razor hadn’t left my side the whole time I was in the hospital. But when I got home, I sent him back to the Iron Realm. I told him to go home, too.”
On the wall, Razor looked up from a ledge jutting out of the trunk, his eyes solemn and knowing. I remembered his stubborn insistence, remembered the way Keirran had struggled to make him do anything. “Did he really leave?” I asked.
“He didn’t want to.” Kenzie sounded remorseful and a little guilty. “But, I made him, in the end. I thought it would be better that way.” She sighed, bowing her head. “I was in a pretty bad place, Ethan. Everyone assumed you had run off, or had gotten yourself thrown in prison. And, of course, I couldn’t talk to anyone about what really happened. My dad wanted me to go to therapy. I refused, and we fought about it for a while.
“And then, one night, Razor came back.” Kenzie glanced at the gremlin perched on the ledge. “I was surprised. I never expected to see him again. But he said you were still alive and in the Iron Realm. I didn’t believe it at first, but Razor was absolutely certain.” She paused, trailing her fingers down my arm, making my skin prickle. “So, naturally, I decided to come find you. I made plans with Razor, put together everything I would need and had him take me into the Nevernever. So, yeah. Here we are.”