“‘A girl would be nice,’ I said.”
Kingsley laughed. “We were trapped in an all-boys’ school. ‘A girl would be nice’ might have been a radical underestimation of how much we wanted to fuck a girl for a change.”
“I didn’t want you to think you weren’t enough for me. You know I’m—”
“I know,” Kingsley said.
Kingsley knew Søren wasn’t like him. For Kingsley, sex was sex, and he had it when he wanted with whomever he wanted. Male or female or anything in between was simply a question of strategy. Søren had told him once he considered himself straight, that Kingsley was the sole exception to the rule. “That girl we dreamed of—I wanted black hair and green eyes. But you wanted green hair and black eyes? I assume you mean the irises would be black, not that you planned on punching her in the face.”
“I’m not that much of a sadist.” Søren smiled, and the world turned to morning from the force of that smile. Had Kingsley ever seen him smile like that? “And this girl of ours, she would be wilder than both of us together.”
“We dreamed beautiful dreams, didn’t we? But a girl like that? Impossible dream.”
Kingsley had once dreamed he and Søren would spend their lives together. They’d travel the world, see it all, wake up together, sleep together and fuck on every continent.
“Nothing is impossible,” Søren said.
“What do you mean?”
Søren turned his eyes from the sun and gazed directly at Kingsley.
“Kingsley,” Søren began and paused. Whatever words would come next, Kingsley felt certain his world would never be the same again once they were spoken.
“What is it?”
“I found her.”
5
KINGSLEY COULDN’T SPEAK at first. What was there to say to that? What do you say to an otherwise reasonable person who suddenly looks at you and says he saw a unicorn on the side of the road or met Saint Peter while out for a walk?
“You found her. You’re certain?”
“I have never been more certain of anything in my life. And that includes my call to the priesthood. It’s her. Black hair and green eyes. Green hair and black eyes.”
“That’s not possible.”
“Her eyes change color in the light. Green to black and back again. When I first saw her, she had streaked green dye through her black hair. She’s violent and foul-mouthed, and she told me I was an idiot. Not only did she say that to me, it was the first thing she said to me.”
“Wild, is she?”
“I’d go so far as to use the word feral.”
“Feral. A wild cat, then. With claws?”
“Sharp ones. Sharp mind, too. Very intelligent. Cunning. Quick and clever. Almost fearless.”
“My type of girl. Where did you meet her?”
“I was sent to pastor at a small parish in a town called Wakefield in Connecticut. She’s in my congregation. I recognized her the second I saw her. You would have, too.”
“What’s she like?”
“Dangerous. She doesn’t even know how dangerous.”
“How dangerous?”
“She...” Søren stopped and laughed. “She made me make her a promise.”
“Made you? No one makes you do anything.”
“She did. I needed her to agree to something, and instead of being cowed like every other person I’ve ever attempted to terrorize before, she refused to accept my terms. Unless...”
“Unless what?”
“I promised to break my vows with her.”
“Is that so? Which vows? Poverty? Obedience? Will she make you buy expensive things and tell the pope to go fuck himself?”
“She wants us to be lovers.”
“Are you?”
“Not yet.”
“Not yet?” Kingsley repeated. “So you plan to?”
“She made me promise I would.”
“So, why haven’t you?” Kingsley asked. He tried to keep his voice light, airy, amused. But he’d never had a more serious conversation in his life. If this girl was real, if she was the one he and Søren had dreamed of, and Søren had found her, that meant something. What it meant, he didn’t know. But something. Something that terrified him and aroused him all at once.
“Because,” Søren said, “I’m a priest. And she’s a virgin.”
“A dangerous virgin? I didn’t think such a being could exist.”
“You’ll believe it when you meet her. But that’s not all you should know about her.”
“What else?”
“She’s fifteen.”
Kingsley inhaled sharply.
“Fifteen. Are you insane? Do you know what they do with priests who—”
“Which is why I haven’t done it. As much as I’d like to.”
“Beautiful, is she?”
“Kingsley, you have no idea...”
Kingsley heard pure aching need in Søren’s voice. He hadn’t heard desire like that since the last night they’d spent together.
I own you...you are mine...your body is mine, your heart is mine, your soul is mine... Søren had whispered that in Kingsley’s ear as they’d fucked on the cold hard floor by the small hermitage fireplace. You want me? Kingsley had asked, taking every inch of Søren into him. So much, Søren had said. You have no idea how much.
Kingsley laughed. “We were trapped in an all-boys’ school. ‘A girl would be nice’ might have been a radical underestimation of how much we wanted to fuck a girl for a change.”
“I didn’t want you to think you weren’t enough for me. You know I’m—”
“I know,” Kingsley said.
Kingsley knew Søren wasn’t like him. For Kingsley, sex was sex, and he had it when he wanted with whomever he wanted. Male or female or anything in between was simply a question of strategy. Søren had told him once he considered himself straight, that Kingsley was the sole exception to the rule. “That girl we dreamed of—I wanted black hair and green eyes. But you wanted green hair and black eyes? I assume you mean the irises would be black, not that you planned on punching her in the face.”
“I’m not that much of a sadist.” Søren smiled, and the world turned to morning from the force of that smile. Had Kingsley ever seen him smile like that? “And this girl of ours, she would be wilder than both of us together.”
“We dreamed beautiful dreams, didn’t we? But a girl like that? Impossible dream.”
Kingsley had once dreamed he and Søren would spend their lives together. They’d travel the world, see it all, wake up together, sleep together and fuck on every continent.
“Nothing is impossible,” Søren said.
“What do you mean?”
Søren turned his eyes from the sun and gazed directly at Kingsley.
“Kingsley,” Søren began and paused. Whatever words would come next, Kingsley felt certain his world would never be the same again once they were spoken.
“What is it?”
“I found her.”
5
KINGSLEY COULDN’T SPEAK at first. What was there to say to that? What do you say to an otherwise reasonable person who suddenly looks at you and says he saw a unicorn on the side of the road or met Saint Peter while out for a walk?
“You found her. You’re certain?”
“I have never been more certain of anything in my life. And that includes my call to the priesthood. It’s her. Black hair and green eyes. Green hair and black eyes.”
“That’s not possible.”
“Her eyes change color in the light. Green to black and back again. When I first saw her, she had streaked green dye through her black hair. She’s violent and foul-mouthed, and she told me I was an idiot. Not only did she say that to me, it was the first thing she said to me.”
“Wild, is she?”
“I’d go so far as to use the word feral.”
“Feral. A wild cat, then. With claws?”
“Sharp ones. Sharp mind, too. Very intelligent. Cunning. Quick and clever. Almost fearless.”
“My type of girl. Where did you meet her?”
“I was sent to pastor at a small parish in a town called Wakefield in Connecticut. She’s in my congregation. I recognized her the second I saw her. You would have, too.”
“What’s she like?”
“Dangerous. She doesn’t even know how dangerous.”
“How dangerous?”
“She...” Søren stopped and laughed. “She made me make her a promise.”
“Made you? No one makes you do anything.”
“She did. I needed her to agree to something, and instead of being cowed like every other person I’ve ever attempted to terrorize before, she refused to accept my terms. Unless...”
“Unless what?”
“I promised to break my vows with her.”
“Is that so? Which vows? Poverty? Obedience? Will she make you buy expensive things and tell the pope to go fuck himself?”
“She wants us to be lovers.”
“Are you?”
“Not yet.”
“Not yet?” Kingsley repeated. “So you plan to?”
“She made me promise I would.”
“So, why haven’t you?” Kingsley asked. He tried to keep his voice light, airy, amused. But he’d never had a more serious conversation in his life. If this girl was real, if she was the one he and Søren had dreamed of, and Søren had found her, that meant something. What it meant, he didn’t know. But something. Something that terrified him and aroused him all at once.
“Because,” Søren said, “I’m a priest. And she’s a virgin.”
“A dangerous virgin? I didn’t think such a being could exist.”
“You’ll believe it when you meet her. But that’s not all you should know about her.”
“What else?”
“She’s fifteen.”
Kingsley inhaled sharply.
“Fifteen. Are you insane? Do you know what they do with priests who—”
“Which is why I haven’t done it. As much as I’d like to.”
“Beautiful, is she?”
“Kingsley, you have no idea...”
Kingsley heard pure aching need in Søren’s voice. He hadn’t heard desire like that since the last night they’d spent together.
I own you...you are mine...your body is mine, your heart is mine, your soul is mine... Søren had whispered that in Kingsley’s ear as they’d fucked on the cold hard floor by the small hermitage fireplace. You want me? Kingsley had asked, taking every inch of Søren into him. So much, Søren had said. You have no idea how much.
