The Lonely Hearts Club
Page 44

"What?" My mouth dropped open. "Forgive each other? Diane, he won't even look at me. I've tried to apologize to him, but he doesn't even acknowledge my existence."
"I know. He's just upset."
"Upset?" I was so frustrated. "What Rosanna said was a blatant lie. He knows that, right?"
Diane nodded.
"So, what's his problem? We've been friends for a long time and then he doesn't want to talk to me? Why? Because people thought we went on a date."
Diane shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "Penny, Ryan thought it was a date."
"Diane, he knew about the Lonely Hearts Club. He knew I couldn't date."
She shrugged.
"You know," I said, "maybe Nate and Ryan aren't that different after all."
Diane looked shocked. "How can you say that?"
"Come on, Diane." My face was flushed. "So, fine, Ryan thought it was a date. So because I wouldn't be ..." I wanted to say "his little girlfriend" but didn't want to offend her, "Because I wouldn't go on a date with him, he doesn't even want to be my friend? is all he wants from me, I don't know, to get laid?"
Diane pursed her lips. "You know he's not like that."
"Do I?"
I started to get upset. I knew I'd crossed the line. I knew that Ryan wasn't like Nate -- but I missed Ryan. I missed talking to him, hanging out with him between classes. And he just dumped on me. Just like Nate did. So was he any different?
'I'm just saying that my opinion on guys hasn't changed," I said.
I was sure I was right to not get involved with Ryan. He would've just hurt me in the end. Just like he'd already hurt me,
Tracy came up to me the next day after class. "Hey, I need to talk to you for a minute." She looked serious.
We walked over to the benches that lined the hallway near the cafeteria.
"There's some stuff going on with the Club that I need to let you in on."
"The Club?" I thought everything was great. But I'd been so distracted lately, it didn't surprise me that I may have missed something.
"Yeah, Kara is going to miss the next two meetings,"
"Oh?"
Tracy looked around. "Yeah, I didn't say anything to you or Diane because I swore I wouldn't tell anybody."
"What's going on?"
"She's going in for counseling." Counseling?"
Tracy sighed. "Oh, come on, Pen, We've all kept quiet the last couple of years while we watched her waste away. I don't know what prompted her, but she started talking to me and Morgan at the last meeting about wanting to get back in control."
"That's great." I was so happy for Kara. Happy and concerned.
"So, anyways," Tracy continued. "The program she is going to is all weekend long."
"Of course, it's fine." I felt bad that I didn't know about it or hadn't been there for Kara.
Ryan came walking toward his locker. it was the first time I had seen him outside of World History in a week.
"Hey, Ryan!' Tracy said.
He looked up from his locker. "Hey, Tracy."
He, once again, didn't even look at me. He quickly grabbed his things and left.
Tracy looked between me and Ryan, who was walking out the door. "What's going on with you two, anyways?"
"Nothing,"
And that was the truth. There was absolutely, positively nothing going on.
I decided I was going to use the week before thanksgiving break to focus back on the Club. I'd had enough of stressing over Ryan's coldness and Nate's desire to be friends.
"Okay, spill it!" Tracy said to Morgan as she sat down at our meeting on Saturday. "We want details."
Morgan blushed as the entire group awaited the details of her first date with Tyson.
"Well, Tyson picked me up in his mom's station wagon."
"He did not!" Erin exclaimed. "that is so not what I pictured."
"I know." Morgan smiled. "I thought he would've had some rock-star car, but it was really sweet. We went to the Mexicana Grill and had the greatest meal -- they have the best guacamole. Then we went to the garage, and I got to hear their band rehearse, and he sang a song for me." Morgan blushed at the memory.
"An original song?" Teresa asked.
As Morgan continued the story of her night, I looked around at the group. Everybody was interested in Morgan's date and happy for her. I couldn't help but smile.
these were the kinds of friends that I needed. Supportive ones. Not Nate, who'd betrayed me. And not Ryan, who was so quick to dismiss me.
"Did he kiss you or not: I said details," Tracy teased.
Morgan blushed and looked down.
A chorus of "wooo" filled the room as Morgan put her hands up to her face. "Penny, you've got to help me," she begged.
"All right, all right. Let the girl have some amount of privacy." I laughed.
I went through a list of movies we could watch and let the debate start between an eighties teen comedy or a horror flick.
"Hey, Penny." Teresa Finer came up to me. "Would it be okay if Marta and I went upstairs to study?"
"Study? it's a Saturday night, guys."
Marta Gonzales took out her Advanced Calculus textbook. "I know, but there's a big test on Monday we need to go over."