The Lost Saint
Page 38

The night air felt so cold and heavy between us, filled with all the things I wanted to tell him but suddenly felt like I couldn’t. I shifted back on my seat and let go of his sides, letting my supernatural balance keep me steady on the bike. How could it be that I’d felt perfectly comfortable driving back to the bus alone with Talbot, but now I didn’t even know where to put my hands while riding with Daniel?
We pulled up in front of my house. Daniel put his feet down and shifted into neutral, but left the bike idling. He wasn’t planning on staying long. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I pulled off the helmet and handed it to him. He didn’t touch my fingers as he took it from my hands. I stepped back, ready to walk away.
But I couldn’t.
I couldn’t run off again without answers. I shouldn’t have done that last time—even if that experience had helped me break through the barrier and fully tap into my powers for the first time.
“What on earth is wrong?” I asked Daniel. “Why are you acting like you’re so pissed off at me?”
Daniel blinked. He let out a small sigh and then pressed his lips together.
“I’m sorry I ran off yesterday. And I’m sorry I gave you the silent treatment all day today. It’s just that I know you’re lying about where you were the other night. And on top of that, I couldn’t believe how you didn’t back me up with Gabriel. But I’m over being angry now. I was done in religion class, but I didn’t get a chance to talk to you because of the service project.” And then I spent the next two hours alone with another guy—but I didn’t think now was the best time to tell him about Talbot anymore. “I just want to understand why you’re acting this way. And I don’t want you to be mad at me. I can’t handle it anymore.”
“I told you already. I’m not mad at you, Gracie. I’m worried.”
His words startled me. Hadn’t Jude said almost the exact same thing to me once? Back when Daniel first returned to town and Jude had wanted me to stay away from him.
“Worried about what? Tell me, please?”
Daniel gripped the handlebars of his bike. The engine rumbled between us. He leaned his head back and stared up at the crescent moon hanging in the sky, his deep, dark, mud-pie eyes unblinking. The walnut tree—illuminated by the porch light—just beyond him made the perfect background for his silhouette. If this had been any other moment, I would’ve pulled out my sketch pad to capture the beauty of the image. But now, seeing Daniel this way only made my heart ache for him.
I bit the inside of my lip. “I know something’s wrong, Daniel. Beyond lying to me, I can see it in your eyes. You look like you did that night when I kissed you for the first time under the walnut tree. The night I told you I loved you, and you ran away because you thought you could never ask me to save you.”
Daniel closed his eyes. I swear sometimes he looked just like an angel.
“But I did save you. In all of this pain we’ve been through, that’s the one thing that’s made it worth it.” I touched his shoulder. “So what’s going on? Why don’t you want me to train anymore? And where were you the other night? What happened that you think you can’t tell me?”
Daniel shook off my touch. “Do you think I had something to do with hurting that Tyler kid? Is that what you think?”
“No. That thought never once crossed my mind.” I held my hands out by my sides. “But I know you weren’t home watching TV like you told the police. And I saw a motorcycle just like yours outside a bar downtown when I was on my way home from The Depot. It was a place called Knuckle Grinders, I think.”
Daniel flashed a look in my direction. Did he know exactly what I was talking about?
“Why would you tell me you’re sick and then go to a bar? Do you have any idea how worried that makes me?” I’d defended him with April—said he wouldn’t go back to who he used to be—but I almost didn’t know what to think anymore.
“I was looking for information,” Daniel said.
“About Jude?” Relief washed through me. “Why wouldn’t you just tell me that?”
Daniel bowed his head and closed his eyes again. He looked almost like he was praying. After a moment he let out a long breath and dropped his hands from the handlebars. He looked at me with his dark eyes and swallowed hard. “All I’ve ever wanted is a normal life, Grace. You know that. I want a normal family. I want Trenton. I want you and me, and a normal future.”
“I know, Daniel.…”
The only problem was that I didn’t know how I fit into Daniel’s picture of normalcy. Not anymore, anyway. Not with my messed-up family. Not with my close-to-zero odds of going to college. And especially not with my superpowers, which weren’t just going to go away. Daniel could never have a normal life with me. He’d need someone like Katie Summers for that.
“Then you can understand why I want you to drop all this nonsense about being a Hound of Heaven,” he said.
“But what I don’t get is why you wanted me to start training in the first place. You’re the one who made me think I could be a hero. You started me on this path.”
“I was just trying to make the best of a bad situation. But I was wrong, Grace. Gabriel is right. It’s too dangerous. I couldn’t stand losing you to the curse.”
“But you’re not going to lose me. I’m not going to change. And even if I did, you could save me. There is a cure—”
“But what if it didn’t work? It’s not a fail-safe. You can’t go about this thinking it isn’t a big deal if you change into a werewolf. There might not be a way back from that.” Daniel brushed his hand through his shaggy blond hair. “And it’s far too dangerous anyway. I don’t know what I was thinking. You’re no match for a demon.…”
Was that why he’d been acting so weird since the fight with Pete? I wasn’t able to fight back then, so now Daniel didn’t think I was capable anymore?
I was itching once again to tell him about the alley. About how I took down that Gelal in a matter of seconds. The only problem was that that story also involved a gun being pointed at my head.… But he had to know what I was really capable of.
Before I could say anything more, Daniel reached out and took my hand in his. “Gracie, all I want is for us to have a normal future—together. I don’t know if that’s possible. I don’t know if the universe will let me have it. I don’t know if I even deserve it.” He slipped his fingers between mine. “But I’m sure as hell going to try to get it.”