Author: Robyn Carr
Gina felt her face burn. “You didn’t just say that to me,” she said. “You didn’t.”
“Oh, Gina, please! I meant no offense, it’s just that—”
“Is that what you teach your sons, Marjorie? That if they can pressure a girl into giving it up, all’s fair? It’s not the boy’s fault or responsibility?”
“No! Oh, God, no!” Then she was quiet for a second before she muttered, “I wouldn’t teach them such a thing. I’m not surprised that they think that way, however. I live in a house full of males. For all I know, my husband could have conveyed the message.”
“If he did, he should be hung up by his balls!” Gina snapped, disconnecting the call. She sank to the bench once more. She leaned over, elbows on her knees, her head resting in her hands. She couldn’t believe comments like that could still be so painful. And she knew that wasn’t how she was commonly regarded in this town—the unwed mother. She knew she and her mother were both respected citizens here. Ashley, a lovely girl and good student, was thought of highly.
But there were still a few, like Marjorie, who put it all on the woman. As if a girl gets pregnant all alone.
For a moment, she felt hot and damp at the same time. Mortified. Humiliated, as if it had been yesterday that she’d said to Carrie, Oh, Mama, I’m pregnant! And I don’t know what to do!
“Hey,” a familiar deep male voice said.
She looked up to see Mac standing in front of her. Looking down at her.
“You okay?”
She let out a breath and stood. “I called Marjorie Downy. Stupid thing to do.”
“What happened?”
“From her perspective, Ashley held him down and forced herself on him and he is completely blameless in this situation. Kind of a boys-will-be-boys attitude. And she couldn’t convey that without a dig or two at me for bearing a child out of wedlock.”
“Did she actually say that?”
“Pretty much. In her day girls were held to a higher standard and her boys were raised to understand that if a girl says no, it’s no. And having a child out of wedlock isn’t the only consequence of being sexually involved. In other words—”
“Jesus,” he said. “She’s as stupid as she is ugly.”
That almost made Gina smile. “I should never have called her. I knew Marjorie and I weren’t on the same wavelength. I always liked Downy, even before he started dating Ash. I think he’s basically a good kid. I want to think this just went the predictable course—he grew away from her when he went to college and they broke up. And yes, it hurts her terribly, but she’ll have more than one boyfriend before all is said and done.”
“Downy’s not a bad kid. But his mother is as dumb as a box full of hammers.”
“Yeah, Downy’s all right, even if he did upset my girl. And I bet in a few weeks I’ll stop hoping he gets a disease and his dick falls off.”
Mac smiled at her. “I need to take you somewhere. Dinner, maybe. Or just out of town for a few hours. Or maybe to some sleazy motel with mirrors on the ceiling—but if you say no, hey, nothing will ever happen....”
She put a grateful hand on his arm. “I gotta get my girl out of bed first, Mac. She’s a mess. Then I’ll be ready for a dinner out of town and some time alone with you.”
“You know all you have to do is snap your fingers.”
* * *
Lou McCain had raised her nephew since his parents—her brother and sister-in-law—were killed in an accident. He had been only ten years old at the time and lived with her until he married. And for about the past ten years she had lived with him to help him raise his three children. They had moved to Thunder Point from Coquille four years ago when Mac had been given the Thunder Point substation to manage for the Sheriff’s Department. When they first discussed the possible move, Lou hadn’t been very keen on it—she’d lived in Coquille her whole life. She had a good teaching job and friends there. She suggested he commute to Thunder Point instead of moving there, which is what other deputies tended to do.
But the move had turned out to be a good idea on many levels. Lou was able to get a teaching job at the middle school right away—eighth grade English. She liked the town and the people. Eve’s instant friendship with Ashley had resulted in Lou’s friendship with Carrie and Gina, two women she’d grown very close to. And of course, there was the simple fact that in a little town like Thunder Point, a place with only a small fishing industry, she and Mac could pool their resources and afford a home large enough for himself, three kids, two dogs and an aunt.
Lou knew a lot about kids. She was working on raising a second generation of them, for one thing. She was a very intuitive teacher, for another. Mac’s kids, her nieces and nephew, hadn’t presented too many challenges yet. But they were definitely getting there. Eve was pretty serious about Landon Dupre. There hadn’t been too much drama yet, but as Lou knew only too well, that was probably coming—teenage love could be complicated. In fact, Eve’s best friend was going through it right now; Ashley was devastated by her breakup and was acting out in bizarre and frightening ways. Ashley needed an intervention.
To that end, Lou grabbed ten-year-old Dee Dee and twelve-year-old Ryan after school and took them with her to the diner. This wasn’t exactly rare for Lou—she enjoyed stopping off there for a cup of coffee on the way home from school at least once a week on days the kids didn’t have lessons or practices of some sort.
Ryan and Dee Dee ran straight to their favorite booth. “Can you get those hellions a couple of colas and an order of fries?” she asked Gina.
“Coming right up,” she said with a smile.
Gina went to the kitchen herself to serve up a plate of fries. She made two trips with the sodas and fries and then, back behind the counter, poured coffee for herself and Lou.
“How’s school?” Gina asked.
“Some days you’re the bug and some days you’re the windshield,” Lou said. “Gina, do you know where Ashley is?”
Gina instantly got a frightened look in her eyes. “School?”
Lou shook her head. “Eve, Landon and Ashley cut out of school. Just the last class. Landon drove them to Corvallis to watch a baseball game. Ashley promised to tell you, but I knew she wouldn’t. Listen, the girl could use some help.”
“Oh, God,” Gina said weakly, looking down. “You knew they were going? Doing that?”
Lou nodded. “Ashley wanted Landon to take her because she promised you she wouldn’t take your Jeep again, like she did before. Eve insisted on going along, I suspect to keep Ashley from throwing herself at Downy. I think it’s good that Eve went. Landon, God love him, would be like a deer caught in the headlights if Ashley had a meltdown.”
Gina took a breath. “What did Mac say about this excursion?”
“I’m going to tell him at dinner. I made a management decision. It’s not as if we haven’t gone to Oregon State for a ball game or two—it wasn’t a ridiculous request. Kids from Thunder Point go to State all the time to watch their old classmates play college ball. But I don’t want either of our girls wandering around alone up there. Landon might not be much good in a romantic crisis, but I trust he’d never let anyone give our girls trouble.”
“True,” Gina said.
“After not seeing her for a couple of weeks, she finally came to dinner at our house last night. I suspect she came because she had a special request—a trip to Corvallis. She doesn’t look good, Gina.”
“I know,” Gina said in a whisper.
“She’s lost weight, I can tell she’s not eating or sleeping,” Lou said. “I’m used to the girls never shutting their mouths at the dinner table, and now... She’s really despondent.”
“How do you make a person eat and sleep? Or stop crying every night, for that matter? I can hear her and if I go to her room, she doesn’t want to talk to me.”
Lou opened her purse and took out a slip of paper. “This is the name of a counselor. Her practice is in Bandon, so it’s a ride. I’m told she has a sliding scale if your income isn’t high. Or maybe your benefits cover counseling—you’re the one to know. A friend of mine—a teacher—recommended her.”
“There’s a counselor at the high school....”
“Garvey,” Lou said sourly. “He’s a horse’s ass. Based on some of his comments, he thinks girls are stupid ninnies—a running bone of contention between us. One of my girls from eighth grade English had him as a guidance counselor her junior year and he told her and her parents that she wasn’t college material. She’s one of the smartest girls I’ve taught. I’ve seen him at school board and PTA meetings. I think he has seaweed between his ears. I think Cliff gives better advice at the Cliffhanger’s bar than Garvey does.”
Gina just kept staring at the slip of paper. “You think she needs counseling?”
“I think it would be a mistake to take a chance. Gina, I know we all want to say it’s just a teen romance, but teenagers feel things so deeply, so intensely. They’re years away from realizing how minor this is in the grand scheme of things, how much more manageable life will be when they’re just a little more mature. They can get very sick, make some very stupid mistakes, do crazy things that can’t be undone. They sometimes have suicidal thoughts.”
Gina gasped.
“Yes, they do. Sometimes it’s self-image problems, sometimes their home life is totally horrible or they’re relentlessly picked on at school, sometimes it’s depression, which can present in adolescence. And sometimes it’s love gone sour. Sometimes, sweetheart, it’s a desperate, emotional act that can’t be reversed. Take her to this woman,” Lou said, pointing at the paper. “This Simone Ross.”
“What if she doesn’t want to go?” Gina said softly.
“Don’t ask,” Lou said. “Take her.”
And then Gina’s eyes misted over. “I think this has been as hard on me as it’s been on her. My heart aches for her. I think it’s harder when your kids hurt than when you do.”
“I agree, it’s harder when it’s your kids. When Cee Jay walked out on Mac and the kids, he really took a dive. And being a man, expressing his feelings was like torture, so he sulked and got angry a lot. But I know him, I knew he was in terrible pain. I’ve been dumped a time or two, I’ve done the dumping a time or two, but watching my family go through it was worse than anything I’ve ever experienced. He was too old to take to a counselor but he took my advice and got Eve in counseling when Cee Jay left and he did go with her. Thank God we got through it.”
“I wonder if her office is still open,” Gina said. “Three weeks ago, when she realized Downy was with another girl, she said she didn’t want to live.”
Lou leaned forward, nearly glaring at Gina. “Tell them this could be urgent. Tell the counselor’s office that your daughter has made suicidal statements.”
“Couldn’t that be an exaggeration? I’m not sure she really—”
“Gina James, would you rather be guilty of overdramatizing or lack of action? Jesus. Do as I say.”
“Yes, you’re right,” Gina said. “Why do we do that? Fear being an inconvenience? I’m stronger than that!” She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and punched in the numbers.
* * *
It was the only thing Ashley could think of to do—go to one of Downy’s games. When they were in high school together, that was the most important thing to him. He believed he couldn’t play well if she wasn’t there. Even though Eve thought it was a terrible idea when Ashley said she’d take her mother’s car again, she finally relented and said they could all go together. And Ashley hoped, hoped so much, that Downy would know she was there, know how much she loved him, and this whole nightmare would be turned around.
Gina felt her face burn. “You didn’t just say that to me,” she said. “You didn’t.”
“Oh, Gina, please! I meant no offense, it’s just that—”
“Is that what you teach your sons, Marjorie? That if they can pressure a girl into giving it up, all’s fair? It’s not the boy’s fault or responsibility?”
“No! Oh, God, no!” Then she was quiet for a second before she muttered, “I wouldn’t teach them such a thing. I’m not surprised that they think that way, however. I live in a house full of males. For all I know, my husband could have conveyed the message.”
“If he did, he should be hung up by his balls!” Gina snapped, disconnecting the call. She sank to the bench once more. She leaned over, elbows on her knees, her head resting in her hands. She couldn’t believe comments like that could still be so painful. And she knew that wasn’t how she was commonly regarded in this town—the unwed mother. She knew she and her mother were both respected citizens here. Ashley, a lovely girl and good student, was thought of highly.
But there were still a few, like Marjorie, who put it all on the woman. As if a girl gets pregnant all alone.
For a moment, she felt hot and damp at the same time. Mortified. Humiliated, as if it had been yesterday that she’d said to Carrie, Oh, Mama, I’m pregnant! And I don’t know what to do!
“Hey,” a familiar deep male voice said.
She looked up to see Mac standing in front of her. Looking down at her.
“You okay?”
She let out a breath and stood. “I called Marjorie Downy. Stupid thing to do.”
“What happened?”
“From her perspective, Ashley held him down and forced herself on him and he is completely blameless in this situation. Kind of a boys-will-be-boys attitude. And she couldn’t convey that without a dig or two at me for bearing a child out of wedlock.”
“Did she actually say that?”
“Pretty much. In her day girls were held to a higher standard and her boys were raised to understand that if a girl says no, it’s no. And having a child out of wedlock isn’t the only consequence of being sexually involved. In other words—”
“Jesus,” he said. “She’s as stupid as she is ugly.”
That almost made Gina smile. “I should never have called her. I knew Marjorie and I weren’t on the same wavelength. I always liked Downy, even before he started dating Ash. I think he’s basically a good kid. I want to think this just went the predictable course—he grew away from her when he went to college and they broke up. And yes, it hurts her terribly, but she’ll have more than one boyfriend before all is said and done.”
“Downy’s not a bad kid. But his mother is as dumb as a box full of hammers.”
“Yeah, Downy’s all right, even if he did upset my girl. And I bet in a few weeks I’ll stop hoping he gets a disease and his dick falls off.”
Mac smiled at her. “I need to take you somewhere. Dinner, maybe. Or just out of town for a few hours. Or maybe to some sleazy motel with mirrors on the ceiling—but if you say no, hey, nothing will ever happen....”
She put a grateful hand on his arm. “I gotta get my girl out of bed first, Mac. She’s a mess. Then I’ll be ready for a dinner out of town and some time alone with you.”
“You know all you have to do is snap your fingers.”
* * *
Lou McCain had raised her nephew since his parents—her brother and sister-in-law—were killed in an accident. He had been only ten years old at the time and lived with her until he married. And for about the past ten years she had lived with him to help him raise his three children. They had moved to Thunder Point from Coquille four years ago when Mac had been given the Thunder Point substation to manage for the Sheriff’s Department. When they first discussed the possible move, Lou hadn’t been very keen on it—she’d lived in Coquille her whole life. She had a good teaching job and friends there. She suggested he commute to Thunder Point instead of moving there, which is what other deputies tended to do.
But the move had turned out to be a good idea on many levels. Lou was able to get a teaching job at the middle school right away—eighth grade English. She liked the town and the people. Eve’s instant friendship with Ashley had resulted in Lou’s friendship with Carrie and Gina, two women she’d grown very close to. And of course, there was the simple fact that in a little town like Thunder Point, a place with only a small fishing industry, she and Mac could pool their resources and afford a home large enough for himself, three kids, two dogs and an aunt.
Lou knew a lot about kids. She was working on raising a second generation of them, for one thing. She was a very intuitive teacher, for another. Mac’s kids, her nieces and nephew, hadn’t presented too many challenges yet. But they were definitely getting there. Eve was pretty serious about Landon Dupre. There hadn’t been too much drama yet, but as Lou knew only too well, that was probably coming—teenage love could be complicated. In fact, Eve’s best friend was going through it right now; Ashley was devastated by her breakup and was acting out in bizarre and frightening ways. Ashley needed an intervention.
To that end, Lou grabbed ten-year-old Dee Dee and twelve-year-old Ryan after school and took them with her to the diner. This wasn’t exactly rare for Lou—she enjoyed stopping off there for a cup of coffee on the way home from school at least once a week on days the kids didn’t have lessons or practices of some sort.
Ryan and Dee Dee ran straight to their favorite booth. “Can you get those hellions a couple of colas and an order of fries?” she asked Gina.
“Coming right up,” she said with a smile.
Gina went to the kitchen herself to serve up a plate of fries. She made two trips with the sodas and fries and then, back behind the counter, poured coffee for herself and Lou.
“How’s school?” Gina asked.
“Some days you’re the bug and some days you’re the windshield,” Lou said. “Gina, do you know where Ashley is?”
Gina instantly got a frightened look in her eyes. “School?”
Lou shook her head. “Eve, Landon and Ashley cut out of school. Just the last class. Landon drove them to Corvallis to watch a baseball game. Ashley promised to tell you, but I knew she wouldn’t. Listen, the girl could use some help.”
“Oh, God,” Gina said weakly, looking down. “You knew they were going? Doing that?”
Lou nodded. “Ashley wanted Landon to take her because she promised you she wouldn’t take your Jeep again, like she did before. Eve insisted on going along, I suspect to keep Ashley from throwing herself at Downy. I think it’s good that Eve went. Landon, God love him, would be like a deer caught in the headlights if Ashley had a meltdown.”
Gina took a breath. “What did Mac say about this excursion?”
“I’m going to tell him at dinner. I made a management decision. It’s not as if we haven’t gone to Oregon State for a ball game or two—it wasn’t a ridiculous request. Kids from Thunder Point go to State all the time to watch their old classmates play college ball. But I don’t want either of our girls wandering around alone up there. Landon might not be much good in a romantic crisis, but I trust he’d never let anyone give our girls trouble.”
“True,” Gina said.
“After not seeing her for a couple of weeks, she finally came to dinner at our house last night. I suspect she came because she had a special request—a trip to Corvallis. She doesn’t look good, Gina.”
“I know,” Gina said in a whisper.
“She’s lost weight, I can tell she’s not eating or sleeping,” Lou said. “I’m used to the girls never shutting their mouths at the dinner table, and now... She’s really despondent.”
“How do you make a person eat and sleep? Or stop crying every night, for that matter? I can hear her and if I go to her room, she doesn’t want to talk to me.”
Lou opened her purse and took out a slip of paper. “This is the name of a counselor. Her practice is in Bandon, so it’s a ride. I’m told she has a sliding scale if your income isn’t high. Or maybe your benefits cover counseling—you’re the one to know. A friend of mine—a teacher—recommended her.”
“There’s a counselor at the high school....”
“Garvey,” Lou said sourly. “He’s a horse’s ass. Based on some of his comments, he thinks girls are stupid ninnies—a running bone of contention between us. One of my girls from eighth grade English had him as a guidance counselor her junior year and he told her and her parents that she wasn’t college material. She’s one of the smartest girls I’ve taught. I’ve seen him at school board and PTA meetings. I think he has seaweed between his ears. I think Cliff gives better advice at the Cliffhanger’s bar than Garvey does.”
Gina just kept staring at the slip of paper. “You think she needs counseling?”
“I think it would be a mistake to take a chance. Gina, I know we all want to say it’s just a teen romance, but teenagers feel things so deeply, so intensely. They’re years away from realizing how minor this is in the grand scheme of things, how much more manageable life will be when they’re just a little more mature. They can get very sick, make some very stupid mistakes, do crazy things that can’t be undone. They sometimes have suicidal thoughts.”
Gina gasped.
“Yes, they do. Sometimes it’s self-image problems, sometimes their home life is totally horrible or they’re relentlessly picked on at school, sometimes it’s depression, which can present in adolescence. And sometimes it’s love gone sour. Sometimes, sweetheart, it’s a desperate, emotional act that can’t be reversed. Take her to this woman,” Lou said, pointing at the paper. “This Simone Ross.”
“What if she doesn’t want to go?” Gina said softly.
“Don’t ask,” Lou said. “Take her.”
And then Gina’s eyes misted over. “I think this has been as hard on me as it’s been on her. My heart aches for her. I think it’s harder when your kids hurt than when you do.”
“I agree, it’s harder when it’s your kids. When Cee Jay walked out on Mac and the kids, he really took a dive. And being a man, expressing his feelings was like torture, so he sulked and got angry a lot. But I know him, I knew he was in terrible pain. I’ve been dumped a time or two, I’ve done the dumping a time or two, but watching my family go through it was worse than anything I’ve ever experienced. He was too old to take to a counselor but he took my advice and got Eve in counseling when Cee Jay left and he did go with her. Thank God we got through it.”
“I wonder if her office is still open,” Gina said. “Three weeks ago, when she realized Downy was with another girl, she said she didn’t want to live.”
Lou leaned forward, nearly glaring at Gina. “Tell them this could be urgent. Tell the counselor’s office that your daughter has made suicidal statements.”
“Couldn’t that be an exaggeration? I’m not sure she really—”
“Gina James, would you rather be guilty of overdramatizing or lack of action? Jesus. Do as I say.”
“Yes, you’re right,” Gina said. “Why do we do that? Fear being an inconvenience? I’m stronger than that!” She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and punched in the numbers.
* * *
It was the only thing Ashley could think of to do—go to one of Downy’s games. When they were in high school together, that was the most important thing to him. He believed he couldn’t play well if she wasn’t there. Even though Eve thought it was a terrible idea when Ashley said she’d take her mother’s car again, she finally relented and said they could all go together. And Ashley hoped, hoped so much, that Downy would know she was there, know how much she loved him, and this whole nightmare would be turned around.
