They could move forward and lead their lives doing the same things other normal couples did. Once his fantasies only stretched to killing strangers; now they were about spending his weekends with the woman he loved, wandering through garden centres and National Trust estates, deciding how to decorate the home they’d buy together, running together or cuddling up on a sofa watching box sets and eating junk food. He used to revel in being different, but not any longer. Everything that had been alien to the psychopath before he met Amy now appealed to him because she had made him feel normal.
Christopher paced silently around the flat and wondered again if one day he might tell her the truth about who he had been and who he’d become because of her. But since being part of a couple he’d learned relationships didn’t need truth to make them work, they just needed one of them to possess a heart large enough to beat for both of them.
The muffled sound of a radio emanated from beneath the door of Number Thirty’s bedroom. Christopher took up his position in the hallway and removed his familiar white billiard ball and cheese wire from his backpack. The final time he would do this. But he had neither the time or the inclination to be sentimental. He threw the ball against the wall and, with the taut wire in his hands, he felt almost apologetic for what was about to happen. His heart had long since left this project and he would gain no pleasure from her death.
But despite his noise, the bedroom door remained closed. Christopher assumed she must have fallen asleep. This was no problem; it’d happened before with Number Eighteen. But as he went to pick up the ball and repeat the process, he felt two sharp pricks to the back of his neck. He turned quickly and felt a massive electric jolt tear through his body. He immediately dropped to the floor in pain.
The last thing he saw before the crippling convulsions pushed him into unconsciousness was Amy’s face.
Chapter 88
JADE
Susan and Jade glared at Mark, awaiting further explanation.
‘What do you mean you’re my Match?’ Jade asked, shaking her head. ‘Why would you say that?’
‘Mark?’ asked Susan, puzzled. ‘What’s going on?’
Mark hung his head and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath before he spoke again. ‘Kev and I did our tests at the same time, and the results came back on the same day, when he was in hospital for one of his early chemo sessions,’ he explained quietly. ‘I opened my email and I’d been Matched with you, Jade, but Kev, he didn’t have anyone. Mum, you remember how desperate he was to know there was someone out there for him after the diagnosis?’
Susan nodded.
‘I deleted his email and told him he’d been Matched but I hadn’t. I just wanted him to be happy. So I paid for your contact details, Jade, and sent them to his phone, so he never saw the original email. You should have seen the look on his face when he realised you existed, even if you were thousands of miles away. It was back when he still looked like the old Kev, remember Mum? He even begged the doctors to let him fly to England to visit you, but they wouldn’t allow it and he couldn’t get the insurance to cover the trip.’
Jade could see Susan nodding, remembering when this had happened.
‘As the treatment got into full swing, it was so awful to watch him starting to lose his hair and weight and become a brother I barely recognised. But I knew what I had done was worth it when I’d see the old Kev reappear in his eyes and watch him smile when he got your texts and your calls.’
Jade thought back to the day she had first received confirmation of a Match. The notification had come through during her lunch break at work and she’d been so thrilled that she’d paid for her link’s details without giving much attention to his name. Almost immediately, she’d received a text from Kevin introducing himself and, from their first conversation, she just assumed he was her Match. She liked his warmth and enthusiasm, and immediately warmed to him. It was a stark contrast to her feelings of failure for having a job she hated and living with her parents.
‘We just started talking and hit it off,’ Jade said quietly. ‘I didn’t think to check it was the right name.’
Jade felt her mother-in-law’s disappointment dissipate, but, for her, her anger only grew.
‘I’m so sorry, Jade,’ Mark said. ‘But believe me, I know how hard it’s been for you over the last few weeks. From the moment I opened the front door to you, I felt those explosions they talk about. And I hate that I’ve hurt the one girl in the world I love.’
‘You have no idea how much you’ve hurt me,’ Jade replied solemnly, and dug her fingernails into the palm of her hands to hold back her rising temper.
‘I do know, honestly … hearing Kev talk to you on the phone every night and watching him in the lounge grinning as each of your messages came through, knowing it should have been me reading them and not him … it was hell. I’d wonder what you were saying to each other and what you felt about him, and I couldn’t say a damned thing. But I never expected you to actually turn up at the house. And then when you did it was both my worst nightmare and the best thing ever at the same time. Suddenly here you were, the one I was supposed to be with, on my doorstep and staying under my roof, but it was my brother you were here to see and he was head over heels in love with you.’
Jade could feel her eyes pooling and she blinked the tears back, trying to keep a handle on her emotions. Part of her wanted to slap Mark, but the other part wanted to hold on to him for dear life.
‘You lied to me … you lied to Kevin … you lied to the people you say you loved – how could you do that?’ she asked. ‘I’ve spent weeks trapped in this nightmare, beating myself up over why I wasn’t in love with him and thinking I was this selfish, heartless bitch. And you watched me going through absolute shite but you didn’t say a word. You didn’t even try to hint that all wasn’t as it seemed – you just let me deal with this all by myself. If you’d just given me a clue and let me work it out, then I could have at least decided if I wanted to go along with it or not. But you took the choice away from me. You used me, Mark, and that’s what hurts the most.’
‘Please try and understand why I did it.’
‘I do, and that’s the only thing stopping me from punching you right now. I get it, you had to put Kevin first. But it takes me a long time to trust someone and, no matter what my body feels for you, I don’t think my head or my heart will ever trust you again.’
‘Please don’t say that,’ Mark begged. ‘Just give us a chance.’
‘I’m sorry, I really don’t think I can.’
Jade hurried out of the lounge and back to the guest house, slamming her bedroom door shut behind her, along with all the feelings she’d ever held for her Match.
Chapter 89
NICK
After another night of fitful sleep permeated by dreams of Alex, Nick left the spare room and made his way into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. Sally was already sitting at the breakfast bar, pushing a partially eaten chocolate croissant around on a plate. The hem of her T-shirt was no longer able to cover her pregnant belly.
‘Morning,’ he mumbled, and made his way to the coffee machine.
‘Hi.’ She winced and shuffled from buttock to buttock.
‘Can’t you get comfortable?’ he asked.
Christopher paced silently around the flat and wondered again if one day he might tell her the truth about who he had been and who he’d become because of her. But since being part of a couple he’d learned relationships didn’t need truth to make them work, they just needed one of them to possess a heart large enough to beat for both of them.
The muffled sound of a radio emanated from beneath the door of Number Thirty’s bedroom. Christopher took up his position in the hallway and removed his familiar white billiard ball and cheese wire from his backpack. The final time he would do this. But he had neither the time or the inclination to be sentimental. He threw the ball against the wall and, with the taut wire in his hands, he felt almost apologetic for what was about to happen. His heart had long since left this project and he would gain no pleasure from her death.
But despite his noise, the bedroom door remained closed. Christopher assumed she must have fallen asleep. This was no problem; it’d happened before with Number Eighteen. But as he went to pick up the ball and repeat the process, he felt two sharp pricks to the back of his neck. He turned quickly and felt a massive electric jolt tear through his body. He immediately dropped to the floor in pain.
The last thing he saw before the crippling convulsions pushed him into unconsciousness was Amy’s face.
Chapter 88
JADE
Susan and Jade glared at Mark, awaiting further explanation.
‘What do you mean you’re my Match?’ Jade asked, shaking her head. ‘Why would you say that?’
‘Mark?’ asked Susan, puzzled. ‘What’s going on?’
Mark hung his head and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath before he spoke again. ‘Kev and I did our tests at the same time, and the results came back on the same day, when he was in hospital for one of his early chemo sessions,’ he explained quietly. ‘I opened my email and I’d been Matched with you, Jade, but Kev, he didn’t have anyone. Mum, you remember how desperate he was to know there was someone out there for him after the diagnosis?’
Susan nodded.
‘I deleted his email and told him he’d been Matched but I hadn’t. I just wanted him to be happy. So I paid for your contact details, Jade, and sent them to his phone, so he never saw the original email. You should have seen the look on his face when he realised you existed, even if you were thousands of miles away. It was back when he still looked like the old Kev, remember Mum? He even begged the doctors to let him fly to England to visit you, but they wouldn’t allow it and he couldn’t get the insurance to cover the trip.’
Jade could see Susan nodding, remembering when this had happened.
‘As the treatment got into full swing, it was so awful to watch him starting to lose his hair and weight and become a brother I barely recognised. But I knew what I had done was worth it when I’d see the old Kev reappear in his eyes and watch him smile when he got your texts and your calls.’
Jade thought back to the day she had first received confirmation of a Match. The notification had come through during her lunch break at work and she’d been so thrilled that she’d paid for her link’s details without giving much attention to his name. Almost immediately, she’d received a text from Kevin introducing himself and, from their first conversation, she just assumed he was her Match. She liked his warmth and enthusiasm, and immediately warmed to him. It was a stark contrast to her feelings of failure for having a job she hated and living with her parents.
‘We just started talking and hit it off,’ Jade said quietly. ‘I didn’t think to check it was the right name.’
Jade felt her mother-in-law’s disappointment dissipate, but, for her, her anger only grew.
‘I’m so sorry, Jade,’ Mark said. ‘But believe me, I know how hard it’s been for you over the last few weeks. From the moment I opened the front door to you, I felt those explosions they talk about. And I hate that I’ve hurt the one girl in the world I love.’
‘You have no idea how much you’ve hurt me,’ Jade replied solemnly, and dug her fingernails into the palm of her hands to hold back her rising temper.
‘I do know, honestly … hearing Kev talk to you on the phone every night and watching him in the lounge grinning as each of your messages came through, knowing it should have been me reading them and not him … it was hell. I’d wonder what you were saying to each other and what you felt about him, and I couldn’t say a damned thing. But I never expected you to actually turn up at the house. And then when you did it was both my worst nightmare and the best thing ever at the same time. Suddenly here you were, the one I was supposed to be with, on my doorstep and staying under my roof, but it was my brother you were here to see and he was head over heels in love with you.’
Jade could feel her eyes pooling and she blinked the tears back, trying to keep a handle on her emotions. Part of her wanted to slap Mark, but the other part wanted to hold on to him for dear life.
‘You lied to me … you lied to Kevin … you lied to the people you say you loved – how could you do that?’ she asked. ‘I’ve spent weeks trapped in this nightmare, beating myself up over why I wasn’t in love with him and thinking I was this selfish, heartless bitch. And you watched me going through absolute shite but you didn’t say a word. You didn’t even try to hint that all wasn’t as it seemed – you just let me deal with this all by myself. If you’d just given me a clue and let me work it out, then I could have at least decided if I wanted to go along with it or not. But you took the choice away from me. You used me, Mark, and that’s what hurts the most.’
‘Please try and understand why I did it.’
‘I do, and that’s the only thing stopping me from punching you right now. I get it, you had to put Kevin first. But it takes me a long time to trust someone and, no matter what my body feels for you, I don’t think my head or my heart will ever trust you again.’
‘Please don’t say that,’ Mark begged. ‘Just give us a chance.’
‘I’m sorry, I really don’t think I can.’
Jade hurried out of the lounge and back to the guest house, slamming her bedroom door shut behind her, along with all the feelings she’d ever held for her Match.
Chapter 89
NICK
After another night of fitful sleep permeated by dreams of Alex, Nick left the spare room and made his way into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. Sally was already sitting at the breakfast bar, pushing a partially eaten chocolate croissant around on a plate. The hem of her T-shirt was no longer able to cover her pregnant belly.
‘Morning,’ he mumbled, and made his way to the coffee machine.
‘Hi.’ She winced and shuffled from buttock to buttock.
‘Can’t you get comfortable?’ he asked.
