The Outliers
Page 18

Sawyer had never so much as experienced high school or prom or a football game and at the first possible moment I’d claimed her as mine and somewhere in all the beautiful chaos of falling for her I’d forgotten to actually date her.
I did deserve that slap my dad had given me.
I needed another one when every impure thought known to man crossed my mind as Sawyer stepped out of the bedroom wearing a white sundress that hugged her every curve.
“Did you get a haircut?” Sawyer asked as she met me on my parent’s front porch. She smelled like lavender and vanilla. My favorite scent since I'd come to know her and one I now uniquely identified with all things Sawyer.
I made a note to thank my mother for taking Sawyer shopping in town today. Her dress was the kind that tied behind her neck and put her fantastic tits on display with just a hint of cleavage. I was already flexing my fingers to keep myself from untying it and letting it fall open. It hugged her small waist and perky ass then flared out just enough to gently swishing against where the material stopped on the middle of her thigh.
I swallowed hard.
Sawyer nervously tucked one side of her auburn hair behind her ear, shuffling under the scrutiny of my gaze as I took in the magnificent creature before me.
“You are stunning,” I finally managed to say. Clearing my throat and trying to get my head back in the game. She blushed under her freckles and I coughed because my heart literally skipped a beat. "The most beautiful thing I'd ever laid eyes on."
"You know. When we first met you used to be kind of…"
"Mean?"
She shook her head. "No, what's the word Josh would use?" she snapped. "And asshole. You were such an asshole."
I bent over with laughter. "Is it wrong that I find you swearing to be hilarious, adorable, and a complete turn on?"
"I think that's acceptable." She looked up at me from under her long black lashes. “Thank you. And…your hair? Did you get it cut?” Sawyer pressed her beautiful pink lips together.
I couldn't believe this girl was mine.
“Finn?” She asked, dragging me to the present.
“Oh. Yeah. My hair. My mom gave me a trim. Said I looked like I crawled out of the swamp, not live beside it.” I patted the top of my head like a dancing monkey in a circus side show. “She was right. It needed it. It had been a while.” I’d always been confident in my looks and I loved the way Sawyer looked at and appreciated my body, but this was the first time in my life I was seeking approval from a girl. It was like I needed her to think I was good enough for her.
I wasn’t. Never would be.
But still, I wanted her to think it.
It was then I realized how nervous I was. Which was stupid because we were practically living together. But this was different. Deeper somehow. More meaningful.
“It looks really great,” she said, appraising my short-sleeved button-down shirt that hugged my biceps, fitted dark jeans and black boots. “YOU look really great.” That fucking blush, the way the color on her cheeks matched her full lips. It made me ache to touch her, but I told myself I was going to behave. She deserved this night and so much more.
That didn't mean it wasn't going to be a long night.
“You really don’t know how fucking sexy you are,” I said. I’d drastically cut down on the smokes but I light a cigarette mostly so that I wouldn’t throw her down and the deck and make her scream loud enough to wake my parents— who’d fallen asleep in the living room watching Jeopardy over an hour before the sun had even set.
“You sure do have a way with words, Finn Hollis.” Her golden eyes were bright with questions and wonderment. Her pupils wild and wide. “Are you sure you're the same man I met in the clearing?"
"No. I'm not the same,” I admitted. “Not since you."
She stared at me like she was stunned by my words until I took a drag of my cigarette and she blinked rapidly. "So, where exactly are you taking me?”
“It’s…a surprise.” I blew out the smoke and stubbed out my cigarette. I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against me. Inhaling her scent.
Just a little bit of her to hold me over.
“Did you just smell me?” She asked with a nervous laugh.
“I sure fucking did.” There was no point in denying it.
“So, how do I smell?”
“Delicious,” I groaned. "Always delicious."
During the entire ride in my dad's truck, I was trying to casually adjust my hard-on. I felt like a thirteen-year-old who could barely control himself. I'd never been that way before but I found it impossible not to think about what was going on in my pants when everything Sawyer did seemed to send a jolt right between my legs. Like when I noticed her dress had ridden up on her thighs. When she crossed and uncrossed her legs and I caught a glimpse of white cotton between her legs. When she ran the tip of her index finger over the light sheen of gloss on her plump lower lip in the rearview mirror.
Yep. Long fucking. night.
You’d think that once I’d had Sawyer that the desire for her would dwindle, like it had in the past with every other girl I’d been with, but that wasn’t the case at all. It was like every time Sawyer was around me I was more and more infected by this disease of need.
A disease I never wanted to be cured of.
A disease I’d gladly die from while thanking the universe for bestowing it upon me with my last damned breath.
“Are you okay?” Sawyer asked, resting her hand on my thigh and giving me a gentle squeeze.
I stifled a groan. “Never better," I choked out.
“You look like you have something on your mind.”
"Me? Nah. Not a damned thing." I pulled into the empty field beside the mountain and turned the engine to idle.
"Are you sure? We can do this another time if you don't…"
"No," I snapped. "You really want to know what I'm thinking about?" I asked with a laugh.
"Yes. Of course," she asked innocently, having no clue how much she affected me. “Okay the. The entire ride here I was thinking of how much of you I still haven’t explored. About how I’d like to trace my tongue over every single sexy freckled inch of you. About the way you blush before I make you come. About how you pull my hair when I'm kissing you between you…”