The Outliers
Page 20
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“Inside me, please,” she rasped, rocking against me, lifting her hips to feel more of me.
"Finally," I ground out, thrusting my hips forward and pushing into her in one long hard thrust. Her head shot back and her eyes closed. Her core clenched around me and I was squeezed from all sides, surrounded by the softest, wettest, warmest place I never wanted to leave.
We stayed out there on that blanket in that field for hours. We switched between fucking and making love. Sometimes we just stared at one another while I was still hard inside of her body and we caught our breaths. Sometimes we talked about everything and sometimes about nothing at all.
We came, we laughed, and we'd start all over again.
It wasn't until after midnight when I checked my phone and realized I had several missed calls from Critter. I clicked my text icon and froze. The world around me stopped. It was just me. Sawyer. And the text that glared at me hatefully from the screen in my hand.
"What is it?" Sawyer asked, turning me by the shoulder to face her.
"That was Critter." There was nothing I wanted to do less in the world than deliver the words I had to say next. I glanced up from my phone. "It's your mother. She's missing."
Sawyer gasped. "Where is…" I didn't need her to finish the sentence.
I shook my head slowly.
I wanted to save her from what I was about to tell her but couldn’t. My heart broke for her before I’d even uttered the words. "We don’t know."
Chapter 12
Sawyer
The second we landed we jumps into Finn’s truck and raced over to Critter’s house. Critter came out to meet us in the yard.
"What happened?" I asked feeling panic invade my entire body like an enemy I'd fought against and lost to before.
She was on the porch. Maddy went inside to get her some tea. When she came back out your mother was gone. At first, they thought she just wandered off. But we checked the sunflower field, and there was no sign of her.
Finn chimed in. "We can split up, cover more ground that way."
Critter shook his head. "You haven't checked your phone since you landed, have you?"
"No, why? What happened?" Finn asked, looking as amped up as I was at the news.
"Because Caroline is right here. She's home. She's safe. She got confused and wandered off. She was only gone for a handful of hours. Came back full of mud and mosquito bites. But other than that, she's okay. She's resting now."
My insides, which had felt shriveled up with the news that something happened to my mother, suddenly expanded again and I was finally able to take a deep breath of air. My first since Critter first sent word of my mother's disappearance. It was almost too much. I felt dizzy. I took one wobbly step and then another before strong arms caught me as I fell. I looked up into Finn's concerned beautiful face. He was shouting something at me, but I couldn't hear the words. I only saw his lips moving as his handsome face fading away completely until I was alone in the darkness.
Sawyer
Finn was sticking by my side closer than ever. Not just because I fainted and he freaked out but because we didn't know where Richard was. Apparently, Critter's man lost sight of him when he went into a bar and never came back out.
Finn wanted to leave again and I promised him we would go in a few days. After the scare with my mom I just needed to feel close to her and to Critter and couldn’t fathom leaving again right away.
Until then, I tried to go on with life as usual and make sure that somebody in our inner circle was with me always. Finn was tenser than ever. Looking out the windows every few minutes. Pacing in front of the door. Flexing his long fingers and occasionally cracking his knuckles.
"You need to calm down," I said, turning over a page in my notebook.
"I will. Once we know where that fucker is."
"Pacing isn't going to find him any faster," I pointed out.
"No," he agreed, "but it makes me feel better. If I sit still, I might launch through the roof."
"So, sit. That's something I'd like to see," I teased with a wink.
Finn took his eyes from the window to roll his eyes at me. "Smart ass," he grumbled. It was the first time since our date ended that I'd seen him smile.
I felt his heavy footsteps on the ground as he leaned in over my shoulder. “What is this?” Finn asked, reaching over me to the table where I’d left my notebook open. "Is this part of your research?"
“No. It’s…nothing.” I tried to snatch it back, but I was too late and Finn was already silently mouthing the words.
My words.
“Sawyer." There was an awe in his voice I'd never heard before. He lowered the page and gazed up at me. His eyes filled with wonderment. Pride. My stomach flipped. “You wrote this?”
I bit my lip and fidgeted with the pen in my hand. “Yeah?” It came out as a question.
Finn set the notebook reverently back on the table. He reached for me, placing his hands on my face. He pressed a firm kiss to my lips that I felt all the way to the deepest part of my soul. “I didn’t know you could write like that."
I shrugged. "Neither did I."
"It’s really good. Like, really good. Do you have more?”
“Yes, but mostly it’s just a bunch of scribbles. Art and religion are so closely connected. I never really knew that before. Paintings. Tapestries. Poetry. I loved the poetry so much I started reading all the poetry books we have here. They were…inspiring. I've been messing around with some ideas and the way the words feel to me when I write them. I feel peaceful reading them back to myself. In control when all I’ve ever felt was out of control."
"It's really incredible."
"This book is my favorite one." I reached for book I kept out of order on the corner of the shelf. I’d been pulling it out at least a few times a day. I didn’t want to keep getting the rolling stool out every time I wanted to reach it on the top shelf. I gently placed the book titled, POETRY OF THE HEART, on the table and opened to the Maya Angelou poem I fell in love with in the first chapter. “I read this and it made me feel something. I realize that’s what the author was trying to do. Provoke an emotion. Relay a feeling. Vent and make people see inside her mind. It was…brilliant. Breathtaking. Then I thought that I might be able to do something like that too. Obviously, not like her, but like…I don’t know. Me.”
"Finally," I ground out, thrusting my hips forward and pushing into her in one long hard thrust. Her head shot back and her eyes closed. Her core clenched around me and I was squeezed from all sides, surrounded by the softest, wettest, warmest place I never wanted to leave.
We stayed out there on that blanket in that field for hours. We switched between fucking and making love. Sometimes we just stared at one another while I was still hard inside of her body and we caught our breaths. Sometimes we talked about everything and sometimes about nothing at all.
We came, we laughed, and we'd start all over again.
It wasn't until after midnight when I checked my phone and realized I had several missed calls from Critter. I clicked my text icon and froze. The world around me stopped. It was just me. Sawyer. And the text that glared at me hatefully from the screen in my hand.
"What is it?" Sawyer asked, turning me by the shoulder to face her.
"That was Critter." There was nothing I wanted to do less in the world than deliver the words I had to say next. I glanced up from my phone. "It's your mother. She's missing."
Sawyer gasped. "Where is…" I didn't need her to finish the sentence.
I shook my head slowly.
I wanted to save her from what I was about to tell her but couldn’t. My heart broke for her before I’d even uttered the words. "We don’t know."
Chapter 12
Sawyer
The second we landed we jumps into Finn’s truck and raced over to Critter’s house. Critter came out to meet us in the yard.
"What happened?" I asked feeling panic invade my entire body like an enemy I'd fought against and lost to before.
She was on the porch. Maddy went inside to get her some tea. When she came back out your mother was gone. At first, they thought she just wandered off. But we checked the sunflower field, and there was no sign of her.
Finn chimed in. "We can split up, cover more ground that way."
Critter shook his head. "You haven't checked your phone since you landed, have you?"
"No, why? What happened?" Finn asked, looking as amped up as I was at the news.
"Because Caroline is right here. She's home. She's safe. She got confused and wandered off. She was only gone for a handful of hours. Came back full of mud and mosquito bites. But other than that, she's okay. She's resting now."
My insides, which had felt shriveled up with the news that something happened to my mother, suddenly expanded again and I was finally able to take a deep breath of air. My first since Critter first sent word of my mother's disappearance. It was almost too much. I felt dizzy. I took one wobbly step and then another before strong arms caught me as I fell. I looked up into Finn's concerned beautiful face. He was shouting something at me, but I couldn't hear the words. I only saw his lips moving as his handsome face fading away completely until I was alone in the darkness.
Sawyer
Finn was sticking by my side closer than ever. Not just because I fainted and he freaked out but because we didn't know where Richard was. Apparently, Critter's man lost sight of him when he went into a bar and never came back out.
Finn wanted to leave again and I promised him we would go in a few days. After the scare with my mom I just needed to feel close to her and to Critter and couldn’t fathom leaving again right away.
Until then, I tried to go on with life as usual and make sure that somebody in our inner circle was with me always. Finn was tenser than ever. Looking out the windows every few minutes. Pacing in front of the door. Flexing his long fingers and occasionally cracking his knuckles.
"You need to calm down," I said, turning over a page in my notebook.
"I will. Once we know where that fucker is."
"Pacing isn't going to find him any faster," I pointed out.
"No," he agreed, "but it makes me feel better. If I sit still, I might launch through the roof."
"So, sit. That's something I'd like to see," I teased with a wink.
Finn took his eyes from the window to roll his eyes at me. "Smart ass," he grumbled. It was the first time since our date ended that I'd seen him smile.
I felt his heavy footsteps on the ground as he leaned in over my shoulder. “What is this?” Finn asked, reaching over me to the table where I’d left my notebook open. "Is this part of your research?"
“No. It’s…nothing.” I tried to snatch it back, but I was too late and Finn was already silently mouthing the words.
My words.
“Sawyer." There was an awe in his voice I'd never heard before. He lowered the page and gazed up at me. His eyes filled with wonderment. Pride. My stomach flipped. “You wrote this?”
I bit my lip and fidgeted with the pen in my hand. “Yeah?” It came out as a question.
Finn set the notebook reverently back on the table. He reached for me, placing his hands on my face. He pressed a firm kiss to my lips that I felt all the way to the deepest part of my soul. “I didn’t know you could write like that."
I shrugged. "Neither did I."
"It’s really good. Like, really good. Do you have more?”
“Yes, but mostly it’s just a bunch of scribbles. Art and religion are so closely connected. I never really knew that before. Paintings. Tapestries. Poetry. I loved the poetry so much I started reading all the poetry books we have here. They were…inspiring. I've been messing around with some ideas and the way the words feel to me when I write them. I feel peaceful reading them back to myself. In control when all I’ve ever felt was out of control."
"It's really incredible."
"This book is my favorite one." I reached for book I kept out of order on the corner of the shelf. I’d been pulling it out at least a few times a day. I didn’t want to keep getting the rolling stool out every time I wanted to reach it on the top shelf. I gently placed the book titled, POETRY OF THE HEART, on the table and opened to the Maya Angelou poem I fell in love with in the first chapter. “I read this and it made me feel something. I realize that’s what the author was trying to do. Provoke an emotion. Relay a feeling. Vent and make people see inside her mind. It was…brilliant. Breathtaking. Then I thought that I might be able to do something like that too. Obviously, not like her, but like…I don’t know. Me.”
