The Rosie Effect
Page 37
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‘Well—’
‘Before you answer,’ said Lydia, ‘tell me a bit about your family. Was your mother allowed to speak for herself?’
‘Not really. My father decided what she said and did.’
‘So they were very traditional?’
‘If you mean, did my father go to work and come home and never cook and expect dinner on the table while my mom who had diabetes had to manage five kids, yes, we were traditional. Tradition was the excuse.’ The Italian accent had gone. Sonia was sounding angry.
‘Seems like you might be about to follow in her footsteps.’
‘Seems like it, doesn’t it? It was all about my father’s job. Oh, he had to work so hard. So hard. Well, you know what, I didn’t marry my father. I’m expecting just a little bit more from Dave.’
‘Dave?’
‘Don.’
There was a pause. Lydia was probably working backwards from Sonia’s error to arrive at the inevitable conclusion that she was an imposter. I needed an explanation. My mind was racing and the solution was so elegant that it overrode my natural aversion to lying.
‘My middle name is David. My father’s name is also Donald, so sometimes I’m called Dave. To avoid confusion.’ The idea was prompted by my cousin Barry and his father who is also named Barry, leading to my cousin being known within the family by his middle name, which is Victor.
‘Well, Don-Dave, what do you think of what Rosie just said?’
‘Rosie?’ Now I was seriously confused. Sonia, Rosie, Don, Dave, Barry, Victor, which was also my grandfather’s name. My father’s father. I was about to be a father, too. Of a child with a temporary name.
‘Yes, Donald-David, Rosie. Your wife.’
With time I could have untangled it. But with Lydia staring at me, I gave the only practicable answer.
‘I need to process the new information.’
‘When you’ve processed it, book another appointment.’ Lydia waved the police file. We were dismissed. And the problem was not solved.
Sonia had to return to work, so we debriefed on the subway.
‘I have to tell Rosie,’ I said.
‘What are you going to say to Lydia? “Hello, this is the real Rosie? I’m a con man as well as a paedophile and an insensitive slob?”’
‘There was no mention of insensitivity and slobbishness.’
‘If you were a bit more sensitive, you might have picked it up.’ It was Sonia’s stop, but I got off too. The conversation was obviously critical, in two senses of the word.
‘Sorry, I’m angry with myself,’ said Sonia. ‘I messed it up. I don’t like to mess up.’
‘The accidental use of Dave’s name was totally understandable. I had to concentrate hard to avoid calling you Sonia.’
‘It’s a bigger deal than that. Things aren’t going the way I’d hoped with Dave and me. We tried for so long and now he’s not interested.’
I knew why. Dave was stressed by work and the possibility of business failure, leading to the prospect of Sonia having to work in violation of her plans, leading to rejection of Dave as a suitable partner, leading to divorce, estrangement from his child and all meaning disappearing from his life. We had reviewed this sequence many times.
Unfortunately, I could not share the state of the business with Sonia, as this might accelerate the process. Now Sonia was identifying another path that might lead to the same conclusion.
Sonia continued. ‘I’ve been reading up on everything, trying to do everything right, and he seems to think the pregnancy has nothing to do with him. Do you know what he did last night?’
‘Ate dinner and went to bed?’ It seemed the most likely scenario.
‘You couldn’t have put it better. I’d made a meal right out of the pregnancy book, covering seven of the ten power foods. I had it waiting for him when he came in, and you know what he’d done? He’d bought a hamburger. A double cheeseburger with bacon and guacamole. He’s supposed to be on a diet.’
‘Did it have tomato and leafy greens?’
‘What?’
‘I’m counting the pregnancy power foods.’
‘He sat and ate it in front of me. And then went to bed. Just so inconsiderate.’
I thought it best not to reply. Dave trying to save his marriage, leading to working harder, leading to stress, leading to hamburger consumption and exhaustion, leading to health and marriage problems. More material to process.
Neither of us spoke as we walked from the subway to the IVF facility. Sonia inexplicably went to hug me, but remembered in time. ‘Don’t say anything to Dave. We’ll get through it.’
‘Can I tell him that part? About getting through it? He may also be worried about marriage failure.’
‘He said that?’
‘Correct.’
‘Oh God. It’s all so hard.’
‘Agreed. Human behaviour is highly confusing. I’ll tell Rosie about Lydia tonight.’
‘No, you won’t. It’s my fault, and I don’t want to be responsible for upsetting Rosie. Sounds like she’s already carrying the weight of the world. We’ll get it right next time.’
‘I’m not sure what we have to do.’
‘Lydia and I are saying the same thing. You need to think more about supporting Rosie. No matter what she’s saying about being independent, she needs your help.’
‘Before you answer,’ said Lydia, ‘tell me a bit about your family. Was your mother allowed to speak for herself?’
‘Not really. My father decided what she said and did.’
‘So they were very traditional?’
‘If you mean, did my father go to work and come home and never cook and expect dinner on the table while my mom who had diabetes had to manage five kids, yes, we were traditional. Tradition was the excuse.’ The Italian accent had gone. Sonia was sounding angry.
‘Seems like you might be about to follow in her footsteps.’
‘Seems like it, doesn’t it? It was all about my father’s job. Oh, he had to work so hard. So hard. Well, you know what, I didn’t marry my father. I’m expecting just a little bit more from Dave.’
‘Dave?’
‘Don.’
There was a pause. Lydia was probably working backwards from Sonia’s error to arrive at the inevitable conclusion that she was an imposter. I needed an explanation. My mind was racing and the solution was so elegant that it overrode my natural aversion to lying.
‘My middle name is David. My father’s name is also Donald, so sometimes I’m called Dave. To avoid confusion.’ The idea was prompted by my cousin Barry and his father who is also named Barry, leading to my cousin being known within the family by his middle name, which is Victor.
‘Well, Don-Dave, what do you think of what Rosie just said?’
‘Rosie?’ Now I was seriously confused. Sonia, Rosie, Don, Dave, Barry, Victor, which was also my grandfather’s name. My father’s father. I was about to be a father, too. Of a child with a temporary name.
‘Yes, Donald-David, Rosie. Your wife.’
With time I could have untangled it. But with Lydia staring at me, I gave the only practicable answer.
‘I need to process the new information.’
‘When you’ve processed it, book another appointment.’ Lydia waved the police file. We were dismissed. And the problem was not solved.
Sonia had to return to work, so we debriefed on the subway.
‘I have to tell Rosie,’ I said.
‘What are you going to say to Lydia? “Hello, this is the real Rosie? I’m a con man as well as a paedophile and an insensitive slob?”’
‘There was no mention of insensitivity and slobbishness.’
‘If you were a bit more sensitive, you might have picked it up.’ It was Sonia’s stop, but I got off too. The conversation was obviously critical, in two senses of the word.
‘Sorry, I’m angry with myself,’ said Sonia. ‘I messed it up. I don’t like to mess up.’
‘The accidental use of Dave’s name was totally understandable. I had to concentrate hard to avoid calling you Sonia.’
‘It’s a bigger deal than that. Things aren’t going the way I’d hoped with Dave and me. We tried for so long and now he’s not interested.’
I knew why. Dave was stressed by work and the possibility of business failure, leading to the prospect of Sonia having to work in violation of her plans, leading to rejection of Dave as a suitable partner, leading to divorce, estrangement from his child and all meaning disappearing from his life. We had reviewed this sequence many times.
Unfortunately, I could not share the state of the business with Sonia, as this might accelerate the process. Now Sonia was identifying another path that might lead to the same conclusion.
Sonia continued. ‘I’ve been reading up on everything, trying to do everything right, and he seems to think the pregnancy has nothing to do with him. Do you know what he did last night?’
‘Ate dinner and went to bed?’ It seemed the most likely scenario.
‘You couldn’t have put it better. I’d made a meal right out of the pregnancy book, covering seven of the ten power foods. I had it waiting for him when he came in, and you know what he’d done? He’d bought a hamburger. A double cheeseburger with bacon and guacamole. He’s supposed to be on a diet.’
‘Did it have tomato and leafy greens?’
‘What?’
‘I’m counting the pregnancy power foods.’
‘He sat and ate it in front of me. And then went to bed. Just so inconsiderate.’
I thought it best not to reply. Dave trying to save his marriage, leading to working harder, leading to stress, leading to hamburger consumption and exhaustion, leading to health and marriage problems. More material to process.
Neither of us spoke as we walked from the subway to the IVF facility. Sonia inexplicably went to hug me, but remembered in time. ‘Don’t say anything to Dave. We’ll get through it.’
‘Can I tell him that part? About getting through it? He may also be worried about marriage failure.’
‘He said that?’
‘Correct.’
‘Oh God. It’s all so hard.’
‘Agreed. Human behaviour is highly confusing. I’ll tell Rosie about Lydia tonight.’
‘No, you won’t. It’s my fault, and I don’t want to be responsible for upsetting Rosie. Sounds like she’s already carrying the weight of the world. We’ll get it right next time.’
‘I’m not sure what we have to do.’
‘Lydia and I are saying the same thing. You need to think more about supporting Rosie. No matter what she’s saying about being independent, she needs your help.’
