“Did you deserve such a threat?”
“Maybe. I said in class that St. Teresa didn’t have a mystical experience but was, in fact, having an orgasm. It’s not like I didn’t prove it. She said the angel ‘penetrated’ her with his ‘flaming arrow’ right to her ‘entrails’ and that it gave her ‘ecstasy.’” Elle used air quotes for emphasis. “That was not a mystical experience. That was a big O. V.P. Wells didn’t appreciate my theology.”
“I appreciate your theology.”
Eleanor opened her mouth and then closed it again. She had zero words. None. Nothing. She had no idea what to say to that.
“I’m going to go away now,” she said.
“Why?”
“You want me to stay?”
“I do.”
She looked at him askance.
“No one ever wants me to stay. You know, after I start talking.”
“I want you to stay,” he said. “And I’d like you to keep talking.”
“I’m not interrupting your golf game?”
“Golf?”
“All priests play golf, right?”
“Not this priest.”
“What do you play?”
“Other games.”
Something in the way he said the word games made Elle’s toes curl up inside her combat boots.
“Then I should let you get back to your other games.”
“Do one thing for me before I leave.”
“What?”
“Take your hair down.”
This time she didn’t even argue or ask why. She simply pulled the elastic out of her hair, ran her fingers through the messy waves and dropped her hands to her side.
“Give me your right hand.”
He held out his hand again and he took her unburned wrist in his fingers. From her left hand he took her ponytail holder and wrapped it around her wrist.
Slipping two fingers between the band and her wrist, he lifted it high and let it go, snapping the sensitive skin so hard she flinched.
“Fuck … Jesus, that hurt. What did you do that for?”
“Those burns on your wrist will take months to heal completely. There are other ways of inflicting pain on yourself that don’t leave scars. You should learn them.”
Elle looked down at her wrist. Her skin still reverberated with the pain of the vicious sting, but the redness had already started to fade.
“Did you … You just …”
“Your body is a temple, Eleanor. You should treat it like the priceless and holy vessel it is. I learned one thing and one thing only from watching my father’s wife. If you’re going to redecorate, either learn how to do it properly, or hire a professional.”
He took his helmet off the handlebars and started the motorcycle. Its impressive engine roared to life and Eleanor felt the vibrations from the ground up to her stomach.
“You’re not a normal priest, are you?”
He gave her a smile that hit her like a slap to the face and a kiss on the mouth all at once.
“My God, I hope not.”
With those final words, he put on his helmet and kicked out the stand with his heel. Eleanor took three giant steps back. He rode out of the parking lot and left her standing there alone.
She watched him until he disappeared from view. And then she listened until the sound of his engine retreated into silence.
“I’m yours, Søren,” she said to no one but God, and didn’t know what she meant by it. She only knew it was true.
She was his whatever the consequences. She was his.
Amen. Amen.
So be it.
6
Eleanor
ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT, THE MIRACLE ELEANOR prayed for happened. Her mother had to go into work early. She’d be gone from five until midnight. Eleanor could leave the house for a couple of hours without anyone noticing.
She’d seen on the church bulletin that someone was holding a Lenten prayer service at six that night. Perfect excuse. For twenty minutes, she worked on her hair until it resembled human hair and not her usual lion’s mane. She put on clean clothes—tight jeans and a V-neck sweater. In all her life she’d never walked so fast to church.
When she arrived at Sacred Heart, she didn’t find anyone praying. She should probably ask someone where the service was. Maybe Søren would know?
Eleanor tiptoed up to the door and found it ajar. Inside the office she spied a lamp on the desk and shadows moving.
“Knock knock,” she said without actually knocking. The door opened all the way, and Eleanor took a step back.
Søren stood in the doorway clad in his clerics and collar. He didn’t seem displeased to see her.
“Hello, Eleanor. Nice to see you again.” He crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.
She peeked around his shoulder and peered inside. Books sat stacked on the desk and chairs.
“You’re moving in?”
“Father Gregory’s sister has asked for his things.”
Eleanor took a step back. Standing so close to him meant she had to crane her neck to look up at him.
“He’s really not coming back?”
Søren slowly shook his head.
“You have to understand that a stroke is a serious condition. Once he’s out of the hospital he’ll be staying with his sister and her husband.”
“Are they nice people?”
He seemed momentarily taken aback by her question.
“His sister and her husband? I haven’t met them, but she and I spoke on the phone. She seemed very kind and concerned.”
“Maybe. I said in class that St. Teresa didn’t have a mystical experience but was, in fact, having an orgasm. It’s not like I didn’t prove it. She said the angel ‘penetrated’ her with his ‘flaming arrow’ right to her ‘entrails’ and that it gave her ‘ecstasy.’” Elle used air quotes for emphasis. “That was not a mystical experience. That was a big O. V.P. Wells didn’t appreciate my theology.”
“I appreciate your theology.”
Eleanor opened her mouth and then closed it again. She had zero words. None. Nothing. She had no idea what to say to that.
“I’m going to go away now,” she said.
“Why?”
“You want me to stay?”
“I do.”
She looked at him askance.
“No one ever wants me to stay. You know, after I start talking.”
“I want you to stay,” he said. “And I’d like you to keep talking.”
“I’m not interrupting your golf game?”
“Golf?”
“All priests play golf, right?”
“Not this priest.”
“What do you play?”
“Other games.”
Something in the way he said the word games made Elle’s toes curl up inside her combat boots.
“Then I should let you get back to your other games.”
“Do one thing for me before I leave.”
“What?”
“Take your hair down.”
This time she didn’t even argue or ask why. She simply pulled the elastic out of her hair, ran her fingers through the messy waves and dropped her hands to her side.
“Give me your right hand.”
He held out his hand again and he took her unburned wrist in his fingers. From her left hand he took her ponytail holder and wrapped it around her wrist.
Slipping two fingers between the band and her wrist, he lifted it high and let it go, snapping the sensitive skin so hard she flinched.
“Fuck … Jesus, that hurt. What did you do that for?”
“Those burns on your wrist will take months to heal completely. There are other ways of inflicting pain on yourself that don’t leave scars. You should learn them.”
Elle looked down at her wrist. Her skin still reverberated with the pain of the vicious sting, but the redness had already started to fade.
“Did you … You just …”
“Your body is a temple, Eleanor. You should treat it like the priceless and holy vessel it is. I learned one thing and one thing only from watching my father’s wife. If you’re going to redecorate, either learn how to do it properly, or hire a professional.”
He took his helmet off the handlebars and started the motorcycle. Its impressive engine roared to life and Eleanor felt the vibrations from the ground up to her stomach.
“You’re not a normal priest, are you?”
He gave her a smile that hit her like a slap to the face and a kiss on the mouth all at once.
“My God, I hope not.”
With those final words, he put on his helmet and kicked out the stand with his heel. Eleanor took three giant steps back. He rode out of the parking lot and left her standing there alone.
She watched him until he disappeared from view. And then she listened until the sound of his engine retreated into silence.
“I’m yours, Søren,” she said to no one but God, and didn’t know what she meant by it. She only knew it was true.
She was his whatever the consequences. She was his.
Amen. Amen.
So be it.
6
Eleanor
ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT, THE MIRACLE ELEANOR prayed for happened. Her mother had to go into work early. She’d be gone from five until midnight. Eleanor could leave the house for a couple of hours without anyone noticing.
She’d seen on the church bulletin that someone was holding a Lenten prayer service at six that night. Perfect excuse. For twenty minutes, she worked on her hair until it resembled human hair and not her usual lion’s mane. She put on clean clothes—tight jeans and a V-neck sweater. In all her life she’d never walked so fast to church.
When she arrived at Sacred Heart, she didn’t find anyone praying. She should probably ask someone where the service was. Maybe Søren would know?
Eleanor tiptoed up to the door and found it ajar. Inside the office she spied a lamp on the desk and shadows moving.
“Knock knock,” she said without actually knocking. The door opened all the way, and Eleanor took a step back.
Søren stood in the doorway clad in his clerics and collar. He didn’t seem displeased to see her.
“Hello, Eleanor. Nice to see you again.” He crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame.
She peeked around his shoulder and peered inside. Books sat stacked on the desk and chairs.
“You’re moving in?”
“Father Gregory’s sister has asked for his things.”
Eleanor took a step back. Standing so close to him meant she had to crane her neck to look up at him.
“He’s really not coming back?”
Søren slowly shook his head.
“You have to understand that a stroke is a serious condition. Once he’s out of the hospital he’ll be staying with his sister and her husband.”
“Are they nice people?”
He seemed momentarily taken aback by her question.
“His sister and her husband? I haven’t met them, but she and I spoke on the phone. She seemed very kind and concerned.”
