The Scourge of Muirwood
Page 76
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Lia wiped her forehead on her arm and saw a serpent gliding by her foot. She swung the torch at it and the creature darted back with the hiss and swish of the flame. How long would the pitch burn? She knew that there would not be much time. The room was shaped like the Apse Veil. It was a mimicry of the maston order. At Muirwood, the Leerings had all spoken at once and she had taken the oaths to silence them. None of them were speaking to her. What was she to do?
Lia approached one of them, its face twisted into a grimace of torment. She licked her lips, wondering if she should touch it. The Medium throbbed in the room, slamming against her mind as she hesitated. She was here for a reason. There was a part of the hetaera ritual she needed to understand. But she should not succumb to it. She knew she had to resist its lure. With trembling hand, she reached forward gingerly to touch it. The torch wavered in her other hand.
As she touched the stone, her mind opened up and she gasped with amazement at the strong feelings emanating from the rock. The Leering was carved into an expression of hunger, a woman starving to death. She felt her own stomach as it had been for days, fed on meager crumbs instead of the wonderful variety of Pasqua’s fare. In her mind, she saw a desperate mother with starving children, pleading and begging for stale bread. The mother had nothing to give the children. The many children. Her husband was missing or dead. There was no wood for a fire and it was winter – the middle of winter. There was nothing left to eat. Her children were starving. Lia could see the woman in her mind, could see her clutching at Lia’s skirts in desperation and realized that the woman was her, in the future. She saw the strands of curly gold hair, the worn lines on her face, the terror of death by hunger. Please give me something to feed my children! Please do not let them die! Have pity on us! Please! I will give anything – anything! Please, a little morsel for my children. Please! There are so many to feed!
Lia would have done anything herself to shut the screams from her ears. Then she felt it – the answer throbbing beneath the panic. She must give up something. She must give part of herself. She recognized the feelings contained in the Leering. It contained the fear of want. She needed to overcome it.
Lia was a wretched, not a noble, but she had never known hunger until she had left Muirwood Abbey. There was always enough to eat at the Abbey. Pasqua had never let her or Sowe go hungry, not even as a punishment. Hunger had afflicted her on her travels, but with her skills as a hunter, she knew where to find thimbleberry bushes or catch game. Food was scarce, but she had never experienced the fear of want before.
Please save us! Please! A morsel only. Just a morsel! For my children! Only for them!
She tried to take her hand off the Leering, but she could not. It was fastened tight, the feelings growing more desperate. The children were sobbing and tugging at her clothes. What could she do? Then the Leering spoke in her mind. She had to offer something – a part of herself. Something she did not need. That would feed the suffering woman and her children.
Lia thought a moment and then then insight came. She would give the chains off her wrists.
Instantly they disappeared. The Leering was tamed.
As Lia looked down, she saw snakes weaving around her ankles. The serpents filled the chamber, sliding and weaving through the tangled fray. She swung the torch down, her hands fully free now that the chains were gone. The serpents retreated again, hissing savagely at her. Her heart shuddered with dread and fear, but she did her best to control it. Just seeing the snakes made her want to scream. Carefully, she moved to the next Leering. It was an expression of remorse, of guilt. Lia stared at it, preparing her feelings to be overwhelmed again.
Then she began to understand.
There was nothing to be feared from them except what they represented. There were six penultimate fears that troubled the world. Every imaginable fear could be linked to one of these. The Leerings were important because a hetaera faced the training to overcome her fears. By overcoming fears, they could make the final oath that would bind them to the Myriad Ones forever. Overcoming their fear would help them make the final covenant.
Lia reached out and touched the second Leering. Immediately she was swarmed by the sound of jeering laughter. It was mocking, cutting, humiliating. In her mind, she saw a wealthy palace full of beautiful girls wearing expensive clothes and dazzling jewelry. They were all mocking one girl. She was not dressed like the others – she was in hunter rags, filthy, her hair spattered with dirt and sticky with…cider? Lia saw herself, cowering before the onslaught of the humiliation. There was Pareigis among them – and Reome – and even Marciana. There was Sowe, a disdainful look on her mouth, a condescending look that made Lia feel as if she were the ugliest girl in the world. They laughed and scoffed at her. They snubbed her. They pointed at her feet, the shackles at her feet and tittered with wicked delight at how uncomfortable she was. The fear of shame.
Lia approached one of them, its face twisted into a grimace of torment. She licked her lips, wondering if she should touch it. The Medium throbbed in the room, slamming against her mind as she hesitated. She was here for a reason. There was a part of the hetaera ritual she needed to understand. But she should not succumb to it. She knew she had to resist its lure. With trembling hand, she reached forward gingerly to touch it. The torch wavered in her other hand.
As she touched the stone, her mind opened up and she gasped with amazement at the strong feelings emanating from the rock. The Leering was carved into an expression of hunger, a woman starving to death. She felt her own stomach as it had been for days, fed on meager crumbs instead of the wonderful variety of Pasqua’s fare. In her mind, she saw a desperate mother with starving children, pleading and begging for stale bread. The mother had nothing to give the children. The many children. Her husband was missing or dead. There was no wood for a fire and it was winter – the middle of winter. There was nothing left to eat. Her children were starving. Lia could see the woman in her mind, could see her clutching at Lia’s skirts in desperation and realized that the woman was her, in the future. She saw the strands of curly gold hair, the worn lines on her face, the terror of death by hunger. Please give me something to feed my children! Please do not let them die! Have pity on us! Please! I will give anything – anything! Please, a little morsel for my children. Please! There are so many to feed!
Lia would have done anything herself to shut the screams from her ears. Then she felt it – the answer throbbing beneath the panic. She must give up something. She must give part of herself. She recognized the feelings contained in the Leering. It contained the fear of want. She needed to overcome it.
Lia was a wretched, not a noble, but she had never known hunger until she had left Muirwood Abbey. There was always enough to eat at the Abbey. Pasqua had never let her or Sowe go hungry, not even as a punishment. Hunger had afflicted her on her travels, but with her skills as a hunter, she knew where to find thimbleberry bushes or catch game. Food was scarce, but she had never experienced the fear of want before.
Please save us! Please! A morsel only. Just a morsel! For my children! Only for them!
She tried to take her hand off the Leering, but she could not. It was fastened tight, the feelings growing more desperate. The children were sobbing and tugging at her clothes. What could she do? Then the Leering spoke in her mind. She had to offer something – a part of herself. Something she did not need. That would feed the suffering woman and her children.
Lia thought a moment and then then insight came. She would give the chains off her wrists.
Instantly they disappeared. The Leering was tamed.
As Lia looked down, she saw snakes weaving around her ankles. The serpents filled the chamber, sliding and weaving through the tangled fray. She swung the torch down, her hands fully free now that the chains were gone. The serpents retreated again, hissing savagely at her. Her heart shuddered with dread and fear, but she did her best to control it. Just seeing the snakes made her want to scream. Carefully, she moved to the next Leering. It was an expression of remorse, of guilt. Lia stared at it, preparing her feelings to be overwhelmed again.
Then she began to understand.
There was nothing to be feared from them except what they represented. There were six penultimate fears that troubled the world. Every imaginable fear could be linked to one of these. The Leerings were important because a hetaera faced the training to overcome her fears. By overcoming fears, they could make the final oath that would bind them to the Myriad Ones forever. Overcoming their fear would help them make the final covenant.
Lia reached out and touched the second Leering. Immediately she was swarmed by the sound of jeering laughter. It was mocking, cutting, humiliating. In her mind, she saw a wealthy palace full of beautiful girls wearing expensive clothes and dazzling jewelry. They were all mocking one girl. She was not dressed like the others – she was in hunter rags, filthy, her hair spattered with dirt and sticky with…cider? Lia saw herself, cowering before the onslaught of the humiliation. There was Pareigis among them – and Reome – and even Marciana. There was Sowe, a disdainful look on her mouth, a condescending look that made Lia feel as if she were the ugliest girl in the world. They laughed and scoffed at her. They snubbed her. They pointed at her feet, the shackles at her feet and tittered with wicked delight at how uncomfortable she was. The fear of shame.
