The Shattered Dark
Page 74

I feel sick as I watch Kyol leave. It’s not just because I nearly died today and not because I’m weak from being healed. Nothing makes sense right now.
I look at Lena. She seems to be the only sane person in the room.
“Aren,” she says. “You should go to your room. Rest.”
“I don’t need rest,” he grates out. He’s staring at the exit Kyol disappeared through.
“Then you must feel well enough to heal the remaining injured,” she says. “Go. And stay away from my lord general.”
“Aren,” I say before he walks away. He looks at the open doorway. There’s determination in the way he clenches his jaw. I’m still sitting. I start to rise, knowing I can’t do it on my own and knowing he can’t help but come to me and help.
I hold on to the arms that hold me, but when I lean into him, he’s rigid, and his expression is impenetrable.
He swallows. “We’ll talk tomorrow, McKenzie.”
I’m too shocked to stop him when he walks away. His words sounded like a good-bye.
“You can feel Taltrayn,” Lena says. She doesn’t say anything more than that. She’s waiting for me to understand, but I already do.
“That’s impossible,” I say.
“It shouldn’t be possible.”
Kyol formed a life-bond with me. I can feel it, feel him. He’s making his way through the statue garden, I think. I can’t see what he sees, and I don’t know his thoughts, but he’s like a blur of emotion just beyond my reach. And now, he’s angry and hurting.
“How did this happen?” I whisper.
“You wanted it to happen.”
My gaze snaps to hers. “I didn’t—”
“I’m not saying you wanted him, but a life-bond won’t form unless both parties wish for it to. Kelia certainly didn’t want Lorn. She wanted to hurt Naito.”
“Hurt Naito?” Was that before they fell for each other?
Lena waves away my question. “You’ll have to ask him about that. But in your case, it might have been that you just wanted to live. The bond connected you to Kyol. He connected you to this world. He allowed you to cling to life long enough for Aren to reach you.”
I knew that fae share magic through life-bonds, and that the bond makes both fae stronger; I didn’t know it could help hold someone from the brink of death.
“If he hadn’t done what he did, or if the bond hadn’t taken,” she goes on, “I have no doubt you’d be dead.”
Not every bond takes. I know that. The two people have to be compatible on some level, but that’s just it. I’m human, and he’s fae; we shouldn’t be compatible.
“So, I’m the only human-fae bond?”
“Sidhe,” Lena says. “You’re not that special.”
“That’s not—”
“If Kavok were around,” she says, starting for the exit, “I’m sure he’d love to tell you about the others. There were two of them, if I remember correctly. Neither life-bond ended well.”
“Where are you going?” I ask, when she’s almost to the exit.
She turns, and one side of her mouth tightens into a smile. “Back to my duties. I’m going to convince the high nobles that someone else is behind this war. Then I’m going to have Lorn arrested.”
“With no real evidence?”
“Half the palace is in shambles. They’ll be looking for someone to restore order. I won’t mention Lorn’s name until I’m certain he’s guilty. The high nobles will assume I’m talking about a false-blood. That will cause a number of them to change their minds.”
She leaves then, and I don’t stop her. Kyol’s emotions are becoming clearer, more potent. I don’t know if the latter is because he’s hurting more or if it’s because I’m becoming more aware of the bond, but it’s distracting, almost distracting enough that I don’t catch the significance of Lena’s words.
A number of nobles will change their minds about her. She thinks they’ll approve her as the ruler of the Realm now. If they do, this war might come to an end. The remnants don’t have a Descendant who can challenge her for the throne. They’ll lose support; Lena will gain it. Some of them will fight on—Caelar, for example—but they shouldn’t be able to launch the attacks that they have been these last few weeks.
There may finally be a break in the bloodshed.
ONE day passes, then another, and another. Aren doesn’t come to me as he promised, and I’m afraid to seek him out. I’m afraid that I was right, that his last words to me were a good-bye. I don’t want to confirm them, so I pass the time recuperating from my wounds and drinking cabus.
The high nobles approve Lena as the interim leader of the Realm. It’s not what we were hoping for, but she’s confident she’ll eventually become the Realm’s first queen. She has the power now to restore the provinces Atroth dissolved decades ago, and since she’s technically the high noble of Adaris, she’ll be able to cast a vote for herself. The nobles from the other dissolved provinces will be grateful for what she’s done as well. She’ll have their support.
On the fourth day, I’m close to my breaking point. The life-bond with Kyol has grown stronger, and his pain, his sadness is killing me. I don’t know if I’ll feel him less in my world, but I can’t stay in the Realm, not until I find a way to block out these feelings. And not without having a damn good reason to stay.
So I finally seek out Aren, hoping he’ll be that reason. He’s on the roof of the palace, sitting on its edge and looking beyond the silver wall and out over the Imyth Sea. I think he knows I’m here, but he doesn’t say anything.
Silently, I sit down beside him.
Minutes pass. I’m not exactly sure how many—ten, twenty, maybe a half hour—but the moon reaches its zenith and is well into its descent when I finally say, “I’ve missed you.”
Starlight outlines Aren’s profile, and a cool, gentle breeze ruffles through his hair. With the palace beneath him and Corrist’s mountains in the background, he’s exotically alluring.
He rests his hand on top of mine, squeezes it. Hope loosens some of the knots in my stomach. I watch my edarratae zigzag down my arm, but when they reach him, he takes his hand away.
“I can’t do this, McKenzie.”
My heart breaks. It’s a tangible thing. The pain is deep inside my chest, slightly off centered and sharp. There’s no way I can hide it from Kyol. I feel alarm pass through our bond, then understanding, I think, when he realizes I’m not injured. Guilt and sadness follow that. I swallow and try to block out his emotions.
“You’re giving up on us?” I ask Aren.
“You don’t understand, McKenzie. The life-bond…I can’t compete with that.”
“I’m not asking you to compete with it.” I turn toward him, take his hand. His mouth tightens, but he doesn’t pull free this time, not even when a bolt of white lightning skips from my skin to his. “I love you, Aren.”
He draws in a breath. I move closer until I’m pressed against his side. Just over two weeks ago, right after we took the palace, he came to me in Vegas. He told me he’d fight for the chance to be with me, and I chose to give him that chance. I made the right decision. He might have a dark past, but he was strong enough to overcome it. He’s become something good. He’s become someone I respect, and if I have to fight for him now, I will.