Søren’s laugh was empty and somber.
“If I were omnipotent you would still be with me, little one. I didn’t have the strength to stop you from leaving.”
“You did,” she said. “But you loved me too much to use it.”
“Perhaps I’ve always loved you too much.” Søren turned his eyes up to the Virgin Mary statue. “Our mutual acquaintance tells me you’ve given up work on your book.”
Nora tugged at her shirt cuffs.
“Zach found out about what I do. He killed the deal.”
“Surely you can write without him.”
“I’m not sure I can. He made me see my book with new eyes. I was just a smutty storyteller before him. For a little while I felt like a real writer.”
“Answer a question for me, Eleanor. Why did you begin your work with our monsieur?”
“I had nothing. He offered me a job.”
“You could have worked any number of jobs. Why that one?”
“He said I’d make a lot of money working very few hours. I thought it would give me—” She stopped and swallowed. “I thought it would give me time to write.”
“Your work with Kingsley was merely a means to an end. It was never meant to be the end.”
Nora didn’t know how to answer that.
Søren reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small black velvet bag and placed it in her hand.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Your real anniversary gift.”
Nora opened the bag and a silver pendant on a chain poured out into her hand. She held it close to her eyes.
“A saint’s medal.” She laughed. “I haven’t worn one of these in years. Who is it? St. Michael? St. Mary Magdalene?”
“St. John the Apostle actually.”
“St. John…patron saint of fools and ex-lovers?” she hazarded a guess.
“No,” Søren said, his voice and eyes gentle. “The patron saint of writers.”
Nora’s hand shook slightly and she couldn’t quite get the necklace on.
Søren took the medal from her and clasped it around her neck. She closed her eyes and relished the brief moment when his arms encircled her.
“Our Lord Jesus had twelve disciples,” Søren said, taking a step back. “After His Ascension all were scattered to the four winds and were persecuted unto death. Oddly enough it was only St. John, Patron Saint of Writers, who didn’t die a martyr.”
“You always hated it when I played martyr. You know, I’m not sure I deserve to wear this.”
“Genesis 1:1, God said let there be light and there was light… God created the world with words, Eleanor. Words are the thread in the fabric of the universe. You write because it brings you closer to God. I was foolish enough once to think I could do that for you. I know better now. This is who you are.”
“Zach doesn’t think so.”
“Then he’s a bigger fool than I was. I know you, little one. You wrote your way out of hell once. You can do it again.”
“The book’s not done, not even close, and I’ve only got a week left before he leaves for L.A. Not that he’ll even bother to read it if I do get it done.”
“Then in your vernacular, Eleanor—fuck him. Finish the book. Not for me or for Zachary or for Wesley or even for God. Finish it for you.”
Nora laughed against her tears.
“Is that an order?”
“Does it need to be?”
Nora thought about it a moment, thought about the energy that now surged through her veins. She had one week before Zach left for L.A. What if she did finish it without him? She could walk up to him and throw the book in his face. The contract be damned. She’d finish it just because she wanted to know how it ended.
“No, I think I’ve got this one.”
“Then go.” Søren nodded to the entrance.
Nora almost ran to the door. But she stopped at the last moment and turned around.
“You could have kept me, you do know that, don’t you?” she asked.
Søren struck a match and lit a candle under the shrine.
“I would that you had kept me.”
Nora didn’t, couldn’t speak. But it didn’t matter if she spoke or not, as long as she could write. She stepped out of the foyer and into the sunlight. She took one last look back at Sacred Heart and knew her most sacred heart remained inside. Sometimes, she thought to herself, I wish you’d kept me, too.
* * *
Wesley was waiting for her in the living room when she got back to the house. He wore a look of profound relief when he saw that she was unharmed. She smiled at how much more thankful he would be in just a few minutes.
“You came home,” he said.
“I’ve got a book to write.”
A smile as bright as the sun spread across Wesley’s face. But it wavered when he held out her red hotline phone.
“It rang while you were gone.”
Nora took the phone from his hands and pressed the number eight. For herself and no one else she would finish the book. But this at least she could do for Wesley.
“Pardonnez-moi, madame,” Kingsley began as he answered the phone. “Mais—”
“Forget it, King. Don’t take this personally, but Mistress Nora is out of business.”
“For how long this time, chérie?” She heard the laughter in his voice.
“If I were omnipotent you would still be with me, little one. I didn’t have the strength to stop you from leaving.”
“You did,” she said. “But you loved me too much to use it.”
“Perhaps I’ve always loved you too much.” Søren turned his eyes up to the Virgin Mary statue. “Our mutual acquaintance tells me you’ve given up work on your book.”
Nora tugged at her shirt cuffs.
“Zach found out about what I do. He killed the deal.”
“Surely you can write without him.”
“I’m not sure I can. He made me see my book with new eyes. I was just a smutty storyteller before him. For a little while I felt like a real writer.”
“Answer a question for me, Eleanor. Why did you begin your work with our monsieur?”
“I had nothing. He offered me a job.”
“You could have worked any number of jobs. Why that one?”
“He said I’d make a lot of money working very few hours. I thought it would give me—” She stopped and swallowed. “I thought it would give me time to write.”
“Your work with Kingsley was merely a means to an end. It was never meant to be the end.”
Nora didn’t know how to answer that.
Søren reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small black velvet bag and placed it in her hand.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Your real anniversary gift.”
Nora opened the bag and a silver pendant on a chain poured out into her hand. She held it close to her eyes.
“A saint’s medal.” She laughed. “I haven’t worn one of these in years. Who is it? St. Michael? St. Mary Magdalene?”
“St. John the Apostle actually.”
“St. John…patron saint of fools and ex-lovers?” she hazarded a guess.
“No,” Søren said, his voice and eyes gentle. “The patron saint of writers.”
Nora’s hand shook slightly and she couldn’t quite get the necklace on.
Søren took the medal from her and clasped it around her neck. She closed her eyes and relished the brief moment when his arms encircled her.
“Our Lord Jesus had twelve disciples,” Søren said, taking a step back. “After His Ascension all were scattered to the four winds and were persecuted unto death. Oddly enough it was only St. John, Patron Saint of Writers, who didn’t die a martyr.”
“You always hated it when I played martyr. You know, I’m not sure I deserve to wear this.”
“Genesis 1:1, God said let there be light and there was light… God created the world with words, Eleanor. Words are the thread in the fabric of the universe. You write because it brings you closer to God. I was foolish enough once to think I could do that for you. I know better now. This is who you are.”
“Zach doesn’t think so.”
“Then he’s a bigger fool than I was. I know you, little one. You wrote your way out of hell once. You can do it again.”
“The book’s not done, not even close, and I’ve only got a week left before he leaves for L.A. Not that he’ll even bother to read it if I do get it done.”
“Then in your vernacular, Eleanor—fuck him. Finish the book. Not for me or for Zachary or for Wesley or even for God. Finish it for you.”
Nora laughed against her tears.
“Is that an order?”
“Does it need to be?”
Nora thought about it a moment, thought about the energy that now surged through her veins. She had one week before Zach left for L.A. What if she did finish it without him? She could walk up to him and throw the book in his face. The contract be damned. She’d finish it just because she wanted to know how it ended.
“No, I think I’ve got this one.”
“Then go.” Søren nodded to the entrance.
Nora almost ran to the door. But she stopped at the last moment and turned around.
“You could have kept me, you do know that, don’t you?” she asked.
Søren struck a match and lit a candle under the shrine.
“I would that you had kept me.”
Nora didn’t, couldn’t speak. But it didn’t matter if she spoke or not, as long as she could write. She stepped out of the foyer and into the sunlight. She took one last look back at Sacred Heart and knew her most sacred heart remained inside. Sometimes, she thought to herself, I wish you’d kept me, too.
* * *
Wesley was waiting for her in the living room when she got back to the house. He wore a look of profound relief when he saw that she was unharmed. She smiled at how much more thankful he would be in just a few minutes.
“You came home,” he said.
“I’ve got a book to write.”
A smile as bright as the sun spread across Wesley’s face. But it wavered when he held out her red hotline phone.
“It rang while you were gone.”
Nora took the phone from his hands and pressed the number eight. For herself and no one else she would finish the book. But this at least she could do for Wesley.
“Pardonnez-moi, madame,” Kingsley began as he answered the phone. “Mais—”
“Forget it, King. Don’t take this personally, but Mistress Nora is out of business.”
“For how long this time, chérie?” She heard the laughter in his voice.
