The Struggle
Page 59

Snapping out my stupor, I flew to my feet and grasped her hands. I startled her and those damp lashes lifted. “I am not sorry,” I told her. “I could never feel sorry that you’re having my child.”
Her eyes widened and she whispered, “What?”
I brought her hands to my chest as I hauled her up to her feet. “I was . . . fuck, I was shocked. I was not expecting you to say that. At all. But I am not sorry.”
Josie’s chest rose against our joined hands. “You’re not? You’re okay with me . . . with this?”
“How could I not be okay?” I shook my head as my heart pounded a mile a minute. “Gods, Josie, I was shocked enough that I just fell over on my ass, but I love you—I will always love you. That means I will love our child.”
I couldn’t believe I just said those two words. Our child. But the moment they left my tongue I never knew anything else could feel so right. I knew, in that moment, it was true.
A tremble rocked her body. “But how . . . how can we do this? We’re not ready—”
“We’ll get ready,” I told her, meaning it. Gods knew she was right. We were the furthest thing from ready, but we would get there. “I don’t have a doubt in my mind that you’d make—” My voice thickened and became hoarse with emotion. “—you will make a wonderful mother.”
“Oh my God,” Josie cried, planting her face into my shoulder. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
“Why?” Was she crying? Letting go of her hands, I curled one arm around her waist and then gently guided her head back up with the other. “Psychi mou, are you crying?”
“I don’t know,” she said, sniffling. “I just . . . I was so afraid you would be unhappy and I’m scared, because I don’t know if I would be a good mom. I mean, I can’t even remember to brush my teeth every night, and I’m going to be responsible for another person? We are so young—like too young. I mean, we can live for, like, eternity and I don’t even know what this baby is going to be and there’s so much crazy going on right now.”
Chuckling hoarsely, I smoothed away her tears. “I could never be unhappy and you have no reason to be scared, Josie. We’re . . . we’re in this together. I know there’s a lot of crazy, but you’re not in this alone.”
Josie blinked rapidly as she stared up at me. “You’re really . . . you’re really okay with this?”
“We’re . . . we’re having a baby, Josie. How could I not be okay with that?”
She let out a throaty sound and threw her arms around me. “I love you. I love you,” she said, repeating the three words over and over.
It hit me again, almost taking my legs right out from under me once more. This meant everything would change and we needed to seriously talk about what that meant, but right now, all I could focus on was this . . . fuck, this beautiful moment I hadn’t thought I’d ever experience.
“I’m going to be a father,” I said, sort of dumbstruck by the mere realization. I could feel my lips curving into a smile—a smile I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to. “I never . . . It’s not something I’ve ever thought about.” I brought my hand to her cheek. “I just never thought it would be in my future. Probably because it wasn’t until recently that I even had a future, but I never . . .” I laughed in shock, only because it was rare when I was actually speechless. “I’m going to be a dad.”
Josie smiled as she nodded. “You . . . will be an amazing father. No child would ever be more loved, more safe.”
Her beautiful face blurred as stark emotion punched a hole right through my chest. Who knew hearing those words would have such a intense impact? But they did. And my own eyes felt oddly damp. My knees felt weak again and my body . . . my body reacted strongly and without thought.
Lifting her up, in one powerful lunge, I had Josie on her back, and all that glorious hair was spread out along the bedspread. I hovered over her, my fist punched into the bed beside her head and my other hand gripping her hip. My heart was a battering ram against my ribs as I stared down at her.
“I love you,” I said, my voice shaking—my fucking hand trembling as I slid it over, resting just below her navel. “And I love this . . . this child already.” Shocked at the truthfulness in that statement, my breath got lodged in my throat. My gaze lifted to her in a dazed wonder. “Neither of you will ever want for anything. I promise you that.”
And that was a promise I would kill to keep.
And die to ensure.
~
Josie
A sharp pang of raw emotion sliced through me. There was so much fear and confusion warring inside me, but what had started as a tiny speck of happiness had erupted into the purest, brightest joy.
We were in this together.
And Seth was okay with this—he was more than okay.
I knew this, because I saw what he was feeling in those tawny eyes. Seth was as overwhelmed as I was, but he wasn’t freaking out. He was diving head-first into this really unexpected development and he was welcoming it.
Seth was happy about the fact I was going to have his child.
I didn’t know what I expected from him, but not this—not the tears I knew I saw crowding his eyes. I looked down and saw his hand on my stomach, the touch so reverent and gentle I was seconds from breaking into sobs.
But the unbridled emotion whirling through me like a cyclone chased away the doubt and the fear that I guessed was common even for people who weren’t newly unbound demigods impregnated by newly appointed gods.
Reaching up, I touched his smooth jaw, then dragged my fingers over to his lips.
He pressed a kiss to them. “We’re going to be okay. We’re going to be more than okay.”
Oh God, my heart imploded into goo.
There was so much we needed to discuss and figure out, but I didn’t want words right now. I wanted Seth, only him, with nothing between us.
Lifting myself up on my elbows, I brushed my lips against his, and he seemed to know exactly what I wanted, what I needed.
Seth settled between my legs as he pressed me back down into the bed. We kissed like it was the last time we’d ever get the chance. We kissed like we were starving for one another, and we were. Our hands were everywhere. His hands slid up the curve of my waist. My hand slipped under his shirt. And we kept kissing, breaking apart only so I could tug his black shirt off and he could pull mine off. The shirts fell somewhere on the floor. His boots came off next. Then my sneakers.
I ran my fingers down his defined pecs and over the tightly coiled ridges of his abs. His golden skin felt like silk stretched over steel. My fingers fell to the button on his pants, and he didn’t stop me this time. Oh no, he lifted his hips as I popped the button free and dragged the zipper down. He inched one strap of my bra down my arm and then the other. He hooked a finger between the cups of my bra, and with a quick flick of his wrist my breasts were exposed.
And we were still kissing, our tongues tangling as he shifted sideways, shoving his pants and the tight boxer briefs down. His nimble fingers made quick work of my jeans.
Seth rose above and then scooted down. He caught my jeans and then my panties, quickly dragging them off. Within seconds, I was completely bare, and it felt like an eternity since there had been nothing between us.
His hands coasted up inside my legs and then over my hips. My heart thundered and my pulse pounded as a delicious ache filled me. He was still for a moment above me, his head bowed and locks of blond hair fell forward, shielding half his face. I reached for him, clutching his forearm as he lowered his head.
Seth kissed my stomach, just below my navel.
My breath caught at the sweet gesture. “Seth . . .”
He peered up at me with luminous eyes. “This,” he said, voice thick as he smoothed a hand over my stomach. “This is a gift. It is nothing less than a . . . than a miraculous gift.”
Tears blurred my eyes, and oh gods, I was going to start crying again. All I could do was reach for him, and he came to me. The bare skin of his leg dragged over mine. I whimpered as I felt him hot and hard against my thigh, searing my skin.
His heated gaze roamed my face and then lower, over the taut tips of my breasts. His stare was like a physical caress, eliciting a sharp swirl of shivers. Then his gaze moved even lower and his lips parted, his lips moving as if he were searching for words and was coming up empty. When those thick lashes lifted and his gaze pierced mine, I saw that awe again.