The Struggle
Page 61

But I liked that he said that, because his vote of confidence did help. “This kid is going to be . . . Man, what is this kid going to be?” I asked, curious. “A demigod? A god?”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out, and either way it will be all good.”
Drawing back, I stared at him. “How can you be . . . be so calm?”
“Calm?” His brows lifted. “I’m just better at hiding my panic.”
“You’re panicking?”
He slid his hand around the back of my neck. “I’m . . . I’m scared, too. Having a kid is seriously some uncharted territory. Everything . . . everything has changed, Josie.”
My breath caught. I had a feeling I knew what he meant.
“Today is nothing like yesterday,” he said, his gaze searching mine intently. “And later tonight, when we go to sleep, it will be nothing like last night. Everything that we do, every decision that we make going forward, will change because of this.”
I drew in a shallow breath, but it got stuck.
“Nothing is just about us anymore. I don’t mean that there still can’t just be an us,” he said, threading his fingers through my hair. “But the big decisions, we can’t just think about us.”
He was right, and I knew that. “When have we ever even gotten a chance to think about just us?”
Seth opened his mouth, but then what could he say? I was right. We hadn’t had the chance to be selfish in our relationship. We probably wouldn’t for a long, long time.
“And the world is not going to stop just because I’m pregnant. The Titans aren’t going to just call a time-out, and the gods? How long are they going to stay out of this and out of our lives once the Titans are taken care of?” I asked, squirming as my unease rose. “Nothing outside this room has ceased to exist, and it won’t. We still have to find Mitchell. We still have to take care of the Titans and anything else that comes our way. That hasn’t changed.”
Seth’s eyes darkened to a chilled topaz. “But we will have to make some changes.”
I raised a brow. “We?”
“Yeah.” A grin softened the hard look. “Both of us. Probably in ways I don’t even know yet.”
“Pregnant or not, I still have to help. I have to entomb the Titans,” I said quietly. “I know you don’t want to hear that, but you can’t just go and kill them all.”
His lips pursed, and I could just tell he wanted to ask why not, but he didn’t. Seth didn’t say anything as he tipped my head back and kissed me.
And those kisses turned deep, becoming something infinitely more, leaving me breathless and wanting. I ended up on my back and Seth’s wonderful, talented hands were between my legs and his tongue and his teeth replaced those devious fingers of his.
Within moments I was lost to the touch and the taste that was all him. Our bodies were fused together and we were twisting and tangling. I was in his lap and then I was on my knees and his arm was pinned under my breasts.
There was no rush this time, no scrabbling of hands and frantic thrusts, but this release, when it came, was no less powerful than the one before. But afterward, as we lay in each other arms, our bodies heated and damp, our breath mingling and hearts pounding, the questions lingered.
How could I walk away from my duty?
How could I put my—our—unborn child in danger?
I didn’t know.
I didn’t know if there was a right or wrong answer.
But I knew I would have to choose.
And I also knew I may not even have a choice.
~
I dozed as Seth continued to make little designs with his fingers, this time across my stomach because I now lay on my other side, my bottom tucked into his hips. I woke every so often to the feel of his fingers dancing over my skin. I’d wiggle against him and was immediately rewarded with a kiss to my cheek or my neck. I don’t think he slept, but I was tired, so I drifted in and out.
A feeling of . . . peace had seeped into my muscles, and while I lay in his strong arms, all those concerns from earlier retreated outside the room. It was just him and me and . . . the future we were making.
But I still slipped into a dream.
A nightmare.
No longer in his arms, I was on the ground. Rough, broken asphalt dug into my palms and scraped my knees through the dirty, torn jeans. My hair hung in my face in thick clumps.
I was back there, outside the warehouse, and I could feel him beside me, waiting and watching. My mouth opened but there was no sound. This isn’t real. This isn’t real. I kept repeating that over and over, because I knew, deep down, I wasn’t in that warehouse anymore. I just needed to wake up. I had to—
My head was wrenched back. Panicked, my arms pinwheeled as I fell backward. My wide gaze swung over the trees, over the truck sitting by the garage bays. I landed on my ass. The bright sun was blotted out by a tall figure.
Oh no, no, no.
Jerking upright, I gasped for air as I threw my arm out. The beige walls came into focus, but I wasn’t seeing the walls. I didn’t feel the bed under my naked skin or Seth beside me.
Part of me was still back at the warehouse, outside in the almost empty parking lot. There was something there—something I saw, something I needed to see again.
“Josie.” Seth was sitting up, holding onto my arm. “You okay?”
I still saw the thick trees ahead of me. I could feel the hot sun beating down on my skin, the beads of sweat running down my face. I sucked in a shrill breath as pressure filled my chest and expanded. “I had a . . . I had a nightmare. I was back at the warehouse.”
“Babe.” He scooted behind me as he wrapped an arm around my waist, hauling me back against his chest. The other circled me, and I was in his arms, far away from that place of hell. “You’re safe.” He kissed my temple. “You’re never going to have to experience anything like that again.”
Leaning into him, I closed my eyes. “There was something I saw while there. I know it. Something outside—” I saw the woods again, the tall, never-ending trees. The needles on the ground. The cracked pavement and the box truck . . .”Oh my gods.”
“Josie?”
Pulling away from him, I twisted around. I climbed onto my knees, grasping his shoulders. I didn’t even care that I was naked. “I remember something!”
“What?” His gaze dropped to my chest, because, well, he was Seth.
“Pay attention.” I shook him.
A playful grin appeared. “Sorry. You’re fucking gorgeous and I really—”
“Focus.” I smacked his shoulders. “I saw something outside the warehouse. I can’t believe I didn’t remember it until now. But there was some kind of truck outside—a box or delivery truck. It had a name written on the side of it. MILLS AND SONS. If the truck belonged to that warehouse . . .”
Understanding flashed across Seth’s face. “Then we have a way to find the warehouse.”
Chapter 32
Seth
As Josie took a shower, I changed into a pair of tactical pants that had been left behind and pulled on a shirt. Walking away from the bathroom and not joining her literally took every ounce of free will I had in me.
I wanted nothing more than a round three and four and ten with her, but I needed to fill Aiden in on what Josie had remembered, and she needed to get some food in her. So I had done the responsible thing, showered first and left Josie to hers.
Hair still wet, I pushed it back out of my face and walked into the small sitting room. Halfway through, I came to a complete stop as my stomach did a drop, like it hit my feet.
Josie was pregnant.
Lifting my gaze to the ceiling, I was rooted to the floor. Ever since she’d told me, those three words floated in and out of my thoughts on an endless cycle, and each time it was like the first time hearing it.
There was a rush of emotions—the happiness blew my mind. Like I’d said to Josie, I’d never even thought about having kids, to be honest, so it wasn’t like I didn’t want them. It just wasn’t a thing. Never in a hundred years would I have thought I’d actually be happy about that, but I was. I was fucking thrilled.