Thief of Hearts
Page 47
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Before I knew it he had me straddling him, his warm hands gripping each of my thighs to hold me in place. “Now, let’s talk,” he said, his tone commanding.
I swallowed when his hands started moving slowly back and forth, caressing me. A tendril of desire coiled tight in my belly at the simple motion.
“This isn’t the best position for a casual chat.”
“Nothing casual about us. Now talk.”
“I told you, I’m embarrassed,” I said, eyes downcast.
“Because of what we did at the college.”
I shook my head. “Not just that.”
“Then what?”
“The message,” I mumbled shyly.
Stu let out a breath and lifted a hand to snag my chin. He pulled me forward and pressed a soft kiss on my lips. “Now why the fuck would you be embarrassed about that? Never be embarrassed about telling your man how you feel, Andrea. I fucking love that shit.”
I gaped at him, his words making my chest ache.
Your man.
“What?”
“I said,” he enunciated, “I fucking love that shit. I love that you have feelings for me. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is? I have to sit feet away from you every day, listen to you speak, witness you be patient and caring to every single person in that class, even though if you ask me, there are some who don’t deserve it. Every day you’re deeper under my skin, and I have no clue how deep I am under yours.”
His thumb came up to brush my lips, and I trembled at both his touch and his declaration. “You’re under my skin, Stu. I think you have been since the first day you stepped foot in my class.”
He stared up at me, his thumb still whispering back and forth over my lips, his other hand inching closer and closer to my inner thigh. His features were softer now, almost like my words were a relief to hear.
“Can I tell you something?” he asked, his voice low. I nodded and his thumb briefly skimmed the inside of my mouth. I wanted to sigh, because it made me think of other acts, things I wanted to do to him.
“When I got out my brothers took me to a strip club. In the past I would’ve been over the fucking moon,” he admitted and I smiled a little. “But that night I felt so numb. Everything about the place depressed me. I felt like I was broken, that there must’ve been something about my experience in prison that killed that part of me. Aside from being with my family and the need to take care of them, everything else seemed empty. I was determined to get this job done for the Duke so I could finally be free of my past and just focus on what mattered. But women? Yeah, I could take or leave them.”
“It’s no surprise that prison changed you,” I whispered. “I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like.”
“It was shit, but I’m used to shit,” said Stu. “It wasn’t the harshness; I could deal with that. In fact, being behind bars is probably more real than life outside. We’re stripped down to our baser natures—dog eat dog. It’s a lot more honest that the shifty bullshit that goes on in the outside world, people hiding behind their money, behind computers, behind the façade of decency. I hated everyone, hated the cowardice.
“The thing about having experienced prison is that you come out and you start thinking everyone else should have to experience it, too, and not because they need to be punished, but because they’re all so soft it’s scary. If society ever broke down they’d be the first ones to go. But then, I walked into your class, totally focused and prepared to use you, and you changed my mind.”
“How?” I whispered, my eyes flickering back and forth between his. I got the feeling Stu wasn’t ever this open, not even with his brothers. He was always so self-contained that I didn’t think being vulnerable before someone else would even be on his radar.
“You made me realise that softness is necessary. That we need both. People who are kind and who help others are needed, but so are people who are hard, toughened by experience. If everyone was like me, the world would be a shitty place. We’d all just be starting fights and kicking the crap out of one another. People like you give people like me a soft place to fall. Otherwise we’d just be cold and hard. That’s how I was before I met you.”
My heart clenched, the honesty and emotion in his words hitting me right in the chest.
Leaning forward, I kissed him, because I couldn’t find the right thing to say.
“Nobody’s ever seen me like you do,” Stu went on, whispering now. “Not even my brothers.”
“You see me, too,” I replied, my voice shaky. “Like no one else does. What you just said means everything.”
We stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, my need for him building by the second. The front seat of his car was too small a space to contain us and I felt just about ready to burst.
Stu shifted his body, reaching down and pulling his phone from his pocket. The movement caused a friction between us that made my breath whoosh out. He smirked knowingly and swiped his thumb across the screen. A second later he held it up to me.
“Here.”
I took the phone and glanced down, seeing our conversation from earlier, only this time there was a response to my question.
Stu Cross: Yeah. 2 many feelings, luv.
The simple answer made my chest ache. I felt so raw and exposed, yet relieved and overjoyed at the same time. Slipping the phone back to him, I pressed my lips to his, kissing him with a renewed hunger. This situation was far from perfect, but it was real.
Stu Cross made me feel alive. So much so that it took him coming into my life to make me realise I hadn’t been living. I’d been imprisoned in the past, hiding behind a future that was lost to me.
The kiss grew hungrier, our lips seeking, tongues colliding. Then a loud noise made me jump back and bang my head on the roof of the car. Stu chuckled and pulled me to him, rubbing the top of my head as I grimaced. The noise had been two cats having a fight, hissing and mewling at one another behind the trees.
“Come here,” Stu murmured, pulling me back to him and pressing his mouth to my temple. We stayed like that for a few minutes, quiet. Stu ran his hands up and down my back, dipping lower and lower each time. It was odd, but I felt at peace. Here we were, more or less on a stakeout. It was the least likely place to feel comforted, but he just made me feel safe.
I could tell he was still alert, still watching the house even as he held me. I wondered what he saw, if there was anything that suggested this job wasn’t worth taking the risk. In my heart of hearts, I really wished for him to back out, to tell the Duke he couldn’t be blackmailed. But I knew he wouldn’t. There were more people at stake here than just us. And for better or worse, we were in this together now.
I swallowed when his hands started moving slowly back and forth, caressing me. A tendril of desire coiled tight in my belly at the simple motion.
“This isn’t the best position for a casual chat.”
“Nothing casual about us. Now talk.”
“I told you, I’m embarrassed,” I said, eyes downcast.
“Because of what we did at the college.”
I shook my head. “Not just that.”
“Then what?”
“The message,” I mumbled shyly.
Stu let out a breath and lifted a hand to snag my chin. He pulled me forward and pressed a soft kiss on my lips. “Now why the fuck would you be embarrassed about that? Never be embarrassed about telling your man how you feel, Andrea. I fucking love that shit.”
I gaped at him, his words making my chest ache.
Your man.
“What?”
“I said,” he enunciated, “I fucking love that shit. I love that you have feelings for me. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is? I have to sit feet away from you every day, listen to you speak, witness you be patient and caring to every single person in that class, even though if you ask me, there are some who don’t deserve it. Every day you’re deeper under my skin, and I have no clue how deep I am under yours.”
His thumb came up to brush my lips, and I trembled at both his touch and his declaration. “You’re under my skin, Stu. I think you have been since the first day you stepped foot in my class.”
He stared up at me, his thumb still whispering back and forth over my lips, his other hand inching closer and closer to my inner thigh. His features were softer now, almost like my words were a relief to hear.
“Can I tell you something?” he asked, his voice low. I nodded and his thumb briefly skimmed the inside of my mouth. I wanted to sigh, because it made me think of other acts, things I wanted to do to him.
“When I got out my brothers took me to a strip club. In the past I would’ve been over the fucking moon,” he admitted and I smiled a little. “But that night I felt so numb. Everything about the place depressed me. I felt like I was broken, that there must’ve been something about my experience in prison that killed that part of me. Aside from being with my family and the need to take care of them, everything else seemed empty. I was determined to get this job done for the Duke so I could finally be free of my past and just focus on what mattered. But women? Yeah, I could take or leave them.”
“It’s no surprise that prison changed you,” I whispered. “I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like.”
“It was shit, but I’m used to shit,” said Stu. “It wasn’t the harshness; I could deal with that. In fact, being behind bars is probably more real than life outside. We’re stripped down to our baser natures—dog eat dog. It’s a lot more honest that the shifty bullshit that goes on in the outside world, people hiding behind their money, behind computers, behind the façade of decency. I hated everyone, hated the cowardice.
“The thing about having experienced prison is that you come out and you start thinking everyone else should have to experience it, too, and not because they need to be punished, but because they’re all so soft it’s scary. If society ever broke down they’d be the first ones to go. But then, I walked into your class, totally focused and prepared to use you, and you changed my mind.”
“How?” I whispered, my eyes flickering back and forth between his. I got the feeling Stu wasn’t ever this open, not even with his brothers. He was always so self-contained that I didn’t think being vulnerable before someone else would even be on his radar.
“You made me realise that softness is necessary. That we need both. People who are kind and who help others are needed, but so are people who are hard, toughened by experience. If everyone was like me, the world would be a shitty place. We’d all just be starting fights and kicking the crap out of one another. People like you give people like me a soft place to fall. Otherwise we’d just be cold and hard. That’s how I was before I met you.”
My heart clenched, the honesty and emotion in his words hitting me right in the chest.
Leaning forward, I kissed him, because I couldn’t find the right thing to say.
“Nobody’s ever seen me like you do,” Stu went on, whispering now. “Not even my brothers.”
“You see me, too,” I replied, my voice shaky. “Like no one else does. What you just said means everything.”
We stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, my need for him building by the second. The front seat of his car was too small a space to contain us and I felt just about ready to burst.
Stu shifted his body, reaching down and pulling his phone from his pocket. The movement caused a friction between us that made my breath whoosh out. He smirked knowingly and swiped his thumb across the screen. A second later he held it up to me.
“Here.”
I took the phone and glanced down, seeing our conversation from earlier, only this time there was a response to my question.
Stu Cross: Yeah. 2 many feelings, luv.
The simple answer made my chest ache. I felt so raw and exposed, yet relieved and overjoyed at the same time. Slipping the phone back to him, I pressed my lips to his, kissing him with a renewed hunger. This situation was far from perfect, but it was real.
Stu Cross made me feel alive. So much so that it took him coming into my life to make me realise I hadn’t been living. I’d been imprisoned in the past, hiding behind a future that was lost to me.
The kiss grew hungrier, our lips seeking, tongues colliding. Then a loud noise made me jump back and bang my head on the roof of the car. Stu chuckled and pulled me to him, rubbing the top of my head as I grimaced. The noise had been two cats having a fight, hissing and mewling at one another behind the trees.
“Come here,” Stu murmured, pulling me back to him and pressing his mouth to my temple. We stayed like that for a few minutes, quiet. Stu ran his hands up and down my back, dipping lower and lower each time. It was odd, but I felt at peace. Here we were, more or less on a stakeout. It was the least likely place to feel comforted, but he just made me feel safe.
I could tell he was still alert, still watching the house even as he held me. I wondered what he saw, if there was anything that suggested this job wasn’t worth taking the risk. In my heart of hearts, I really wished for him to back out, to tell the Duke he couldn’t be blackmailed. But I knew he wouldn’t. There were more people at stake here than just us. And for better or worse, we were in this together now.
