“This is it,” I said. “It’s perfect since we met under a tree.”
I left the store and walked into the overly warm humidity. Living in Florida felt like you were perpetually existing in a bowl of pea soup. Today, however, I didn’t care. I was smiling. I had a ring in my pocket. Olivia’s ring. Everyone would think I was crazy for asking a girl to marry me when I hadn’t even had sex with her. That’s why I didn’t bother telling anyone my plans. If my family and friends couldn’t be supportive, then they wouldn’t be included. I didn’t need to have sex with her to know how I felt. She could refuse to have sex with me every day for the rest of our lives and I still would choose her. That’s how deep I was in this.
The plans were in motion. In six weeks I would ask Olivia — no — I would tell Olivia, to marry me. She would probably say no, but I’d just keep asking — or telling. That’s what happened when you were possessed by a woman. All of a sudden you stopped running from love and started breaking all of your own rules … making a fool of yourself. I was okay with that.
I called her cell, tried to keep my voice even.
“Hi,” she breathed.
“Hey, baby.”
There was always a brief pause after we said our hellos. I liked to think of it as the saturation. She told me once that every time she saw my name on her caller I.D. she got butterflies. I got this swelling ache in my chest. It was a good ache — like a heart orgasm.
“I’m making plans for a few weeks from now. I thought we could go away for a couple of days — Daytona maybe.”
She sounded excited. “I’ve never been there.”
“It’s more beach. Another corner of the same ol’ same ol’ Florida. I want to take you to Europe. But, for now, Daytona.”
“Caleb, yeah, I’d like that. Daytona and Europe.”
“Okay,” I said, smiling.
“Okay,” she repeated.
“Hey,” she said after a few seconds. “Don’t get separate rooms.”
I think I tripped over the curb.
“What?”
She laughed.
“Byyye, Caleb.”
“Bye, Duchess.”
I was grinning from ear to ear.
After we hung up, I stopped for an espresso at an outdoor café. I wiped sweat from my forehead as I called a hotel and made reservations. One room: king bed, Jacuzzi tub, view of the ocean. Then I called a florist and ordered three-dozen gardenias. They asked for the delivery address of the hotel and I had to hang up to find it before calling them back. I was laughing in between calls. Out loud. People kept staring, but I couldn’t help it. This was crazy and it made me so happy. I called Cammie, and then thinking better of it, I hung up. Cammie was the closest thing Olivia had to family, but her idea of secret keeping was … not to keep a secret. I wished there was a father to ask — no, I didn’t. I would have punched her father, probably on numerous occasions. My final call was to an old friend who could help me with the last part of my plan. The best part. I wasn’t just going to give her a ring; she needed more than that to see how serious I was.
I stood up and dropped money on the table. Then I headed to my mother’s house. Hopefully, there were plenty of sedatives at the Drake mansion. She was going to need them.
“Caleb, it’s a mistake.” My mother’s face was ashen. She was tugging on the locket she wore around her neck. A sure sign that she was about to crumble emotionally.
I laughed at her. I didn’t like to be disrespectful, but I didn’t like anyone telling me Olivia was a mistake either. I pulled the ring box from her fingers and snapped it closed.
“I’m not here for your opinion. I’m here because you’re my mother and I want to keep you involved in my life. However, that is subject to change if you insist on treating Olivia as if she isn’t good enough for me.”
“She-”
“-Is,” I said firmly. “In college I was the ass**le that slept with everyone because I could. I’ve been with many women, and she is the only one who makes me want to be a better person … and a better person for her. I don’t even need to be good, I just need to be good for her.”
My mother stared at me blankly.
“Forget it,” I said, standing up. She grabbed my arm.
“Have you told your father?”
I felt myself flinch. “No, why would I do that?”
“Your brother?” she asked.
I shook my head.
“They’ll confirm what I’m saying. You’re young.”
“I wouldn’t be too young if I’d bought this ring for Sidney, would I?”
She bit her bottom lip and I pulled my arm from her grasp.
“My father is so against commitment he’s managed to date a new woman every month for the last ten years. Seth is so reclusive and neurotic; he’d rather be alone for the rest of his life than have someone leave a dish in the sink. I don’t think I’ll be going to either for relationship advice. And just for the record, it’s your job to be supportive of me. Everyone told you not to divorce my father and marry Steve. Had you listened to them, where would you be now?”
She was panting by the time I finished saying that. I glanced at the door. I needed out of here, fast. I wanted to be with Olivia. See her face, kiss her.
“Caleb.”
I glanced down at my mother. She had been a good mother to my brother and me. Good enough to leave my father when she saw how damaging his influence on us had been. To others she was not a particularly kind woman, but I understood that. She was verbally cutting and critical. It was common among the wealthy. I never expected her to embrace Olivia. But, I had hoped for a less trite reaction. Maybe even forced happiness for my sake. I was growing weary of her pronounced cattiness.
She placed her hand on my arm again, squeezing lightly. “I know you think I’m shallow. I probably am. Women in my generation were taught not to think too deeply about our feelings, and to do what needed to be done without dissecting it emotionally. But, I am more perceptive than you think. She will be your destruction. She’s not healthy.”
I gently removed her hand from my arm. “Then let her destroy me.”
Chapter Eleven
I take Cammie home first. When she steps out of the car, she kisses my cheek and holds my eyes for a second longer than is normal. I know she’s sorry. After all these years of Olivia and me, how can she not be? I nod at her and she tucks her lips in and smiles. When I get back in, Olivia is watching me.
I left the store and walked into the overly warm humidity. Living in Florida felt like you were perpetually existing in a bowl of pea soup. Today, however, I didn’t care. I was smiling. I had a ring in my pocket. Olivia’s ring. Everyone would think I was crazy for asking a girl to marry me when I hadn’t even had sex with her. That’s why I didn’t bother telling anyone my plans. If my family and friends couldn’t be supportive, then they wouldn’t be included. I didn’t need to have sex with her to know how I felt. She could refuse to have sex with me every day for the rest of our lives and I still would choose her. That’s how deep I was in this.
The plans were in motion. In six weeks I would ask Olivia — no — I would tell Olivia, to marry me. She would probably say no, but I’d just keep asking — or telling. That’s what happened when you were possessed by a woman. All of a sudden you stopped running from love and started breaking all of your own rules … making a fool of yourself. I was okay with that.
I called her cell, tried to keep my voice even.
“Hi,” she breathed.
“Hey, baby.”
There was always a brief pause after we said our hellos. I liked to think of it as the saturation. She told me once that every time she saw my name on her caller I.D. she got butterflies. I got this swelling ache in my chest. It was a good ache — like a heart orgasm.
“I’m making plans for a few weeks from now. I thought we could go away for a couple of days — Daytona maybe.”
She sounded excited. “I’ve never been there.”
“It’s more beach. Another corner of the same ol’ same ol’ Florida. I want to take you to Europe. But, for now, Daytona.”
“Caleb, yeah, I’d like that. Daytona and Europe.”
“Okay,” I said, smiling.
“Okay,” she repeated.
“Hey,” she said after a few seconds. “Don’t get separate rooms.”
I think I tripped over the curb.
“What?”
She laughed.
“Byyye, Caleb.”
“Bye, Duchess.”
I was grinning from ear to ear.
After we hung up, I stopped for an espresso at an outdoor café. I wiped sweat from my forehead as I called a hotel and made reservations. One room: king bed, Jacuzzi tub, view of the ocean. Then I called a florist and ordered three-dozen gardenias. They asked for the delivery address of the hotel and I had to hang up to find it before calling them back. I was laughing in between calls. Out loud. People kept staring, but I couldn’t help it. This was crazy and it made me so happy. I called Cammie, and then thinking better of it, I hung up. Cammie was the closest thing Olivia had to family, but her idea of secret keeping was … not to keep a secret. I wished there was a father to ask — no, I didn’t. I would have punched her father, probably on numerous occasions. My final call was to an old friend who could help me with the last part of my plan. The best part. I wasn’t just going to give her a ring; she needed more than that to see how serious I was.
I stood up and dropped money on the table. Then I headed to my mother’s house. Hopefully, there were plenty of sedatives at the Drake mansion. She was going to need them.
“Caleb, it’s a mistake.” My mother’s face was ashen. She was tugging on the locket she wore around her neck. A sure sign that she was about to crumble emotionally.
I laughed at her. I didn’t like to be disrespectful, but I didn’t like anyone telling me Olivia was a mistake either. I pulled the ring box from her fingers and snapped it closed.
“I’m not here for your opinion. I’m here because you’re my mother and I want to keep you involved in my life. However, that is subject to change if you insist on treating Olivia as if she isn’t good enough for me.”
“She-”
“-Is,” I said firmly. “In college I was the ass**le that slept with everyone because I could. I’ve been with many women, and she is the only one who makes me want to be a better person … and a better person for her. I don’t even need to be good, I just need to be good for her.”
My mother stared at me blankly.
“Forget it,” I said, standing up. She grabbed my arm.
“Have you told your father?”
I felt myself flinch. “No, why would I do that?”
“Your brother?” she asked.
I shook my head.
“They’ll confirm what I’m saying. You’re young.”
“I wouldn’t be too young if I’d bought this ring for Sidney, would I?”
She bit her bottom lip and I pulled my arm from her grasp.
“My father is so against commitment he’s managed to date a new woman every month for the last ten years. Seth is so reclusive and neurotic; he’d rather be alone for the rest of his life than have someone leave a dish in the sink. I don’t think I’ll be going to either for relationship advice. And just for the record, it’s your job to be supportive of me. Everyone told you not to divorce my father and marry Steve. Had you listened to them, where would you be now?”
She was panting by the time I finished saying that. I glanced at the door. I needed out of here, fast. I wanted to be with Olivia. See her face, kiss her.
“Caleb.”
I glanced down at my mother. She had been a good mother to my brother and me. Good enough to leave my father when she saw how damaging his influence on us had been. To others she was not a particularly kind woman, but I understood that. She was verbally cutting and critical. It was common among the wealthy. I never expected her to embrace Olivia. But, I had hoped for a less trite reaction. Maybe even forced happiness for my sake. I was growing weary of her pronounced cattiness.
She placed her hand on my arm again, squeezing lightly. “I know you think I’m shallow. I probably am. Women in my generation were taught not to think too deeply about our feelings, and to do what needed to be done without dissecting it emotionally. But, I am more perceptive than you think. She will be your destruction. She’s not healthy.”
I gently removed her hand from my arm. “Then let her destroy me.”
Chapter Eleven
I take Cammie home first. When she steps out of the car, she kisses my cheek and holds my eyes for a second longer than is normal. I know she’s sorry. After all these years of Olivia and me, how can she not be? I nod at her and she tucks her lips in and smiles. When I get back in, Olivia is watching me.
