“I suppose I could do that. I once had a serial killer case,” she said. She didn’t sound excited about it, just matter-of-fact. And it was obvious she was gauging his reaction.
“That could not have been easy,” he said. He left his hand palm up in the center of the table, even after the waiter delivered a basket of warm bread to them, leaving the invitation open should she decide to hold his hand again.
“No. In fact, it was quite awful. He showed a level of desecration that none of us had ever seen in our lives. Like something out of a movie. He killed three women before we were able to stop him. Lucky for us he wasn’t trying to hide. He didn’t care about getting caught. He only focused on making his sick fantasies come to life.”
“And that was what drove him? His fantasies?”
“Yes. But he did have an agenda, which we only learned about after we caught him. Those women were practice. He was working up the nerve, honing his skills, so he could go after his childhood crush. We got to him just in time to keep him from her. Thank God. She was a mom with two kids and a husband. She had no idea the psycho even existed; no idea she was in mortal danger. Apparently he had been stalking her for years.”
“How dreadful it must be to be surrounded by so much sickness and death. I wonder that it doesn’t color your world irreparably.”
“It does color my world but I like to think I have balance.”
“I think that you must, or you would not be such a bright, energetic soul.”
She laughed. “That’s the first time I’ve ever been complimented on my soul.”
“Well it’s true. Your soul positively effervesces out of you. You have such amazing energy.”
“I certainly don’t feel that way today!” She laughed. “And I wouldn’t say I effervesce. I know some very bright and bubbly people who would put me to shame.”
“Can you not take the compliment?” he asked.
She tilted her head and looked at him, as if viewing it from his perspective. “You’re right. That was bad of me. I thank you for the compliment. I will do better next time.”
He chuckled. “Good. Because I anticipate giving you a lot of compliments in the future.”
Renee smiled at that and turned her attention to the dessert menu, trying to cover the giddy warmth that seemed to be pervading her. She liked him a lot. Liked the attention he showed her. It had been quite some time since she had felt like this. She was such a brassy woman, she did not often get the proper kind of attention a woman needed to feel pretty and appreciated in a feminine way. Oh, she was good at her job and got many compliments and even commendations, she was appreciated by her friends and loved by them quite generously, but as a woman…she wasn’t often the focus of male attention and attraction. And it wasn’t because she was unattractive or because she felt unattractive. She knew she wasn’t, but it was rare for someone to find themselves equal enough to tell her so. Someone she felt was equal enough. A construction guy whistling at her as she walked by wasn’t exactly the kind of attention she craved.
But she was coming to crave Rafe’s attention. He was her equal; he had class and style and money and came from a world quite a bit above her own. She might have felt as if she were at a disadvantage, if not for the deference with which he was treating her. He knew exactly what she was, a brass tacks cop. He accepted it. At least for as far as he understood it as an outsider. Outsiders had preconceived notions of what it meant to be a cop. Only those on the inside really knew what the policing world was like. Soldiers came close. They knew what it was like to police a country full of hostiles who hated you. That was what policing in the city was like. Only they had to do it within the letter and restrictions of the law. They had to account for every time they discharged their weapons, and it hung over them all every time one of them made a mistake or abused their position.
But she wasn’t expecting him to fully comprehend her work. That would be expecting far too much far too soon. They were still getting to know each other. Getting comfortable. Although, she had to admit he made it easy. She felt relaxed around him. As though she could be herself because that was all he wanted from her.
“What are you thinking about that has you concentrating so hard?” he asked, curling his fingers beckoningly on the tabletop. She gave in to the silent request and slid her hand back into his, laying the dessert menu aside.
“I was just concentrating on the dessert selections.”
“I see,” he said softly. “Tell me: What are the rules here?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“The rules. Is it that you are allowed to lie to me, but I must not lie to you, or are we both allowed to lie to each other…and ourselves?”
She bristled. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, moving to withdraw her hand. But he closed his fingers tight around her and kept her there.
“I mean, when I ask you what you are thinking about, rather than lie to me, you tell me ‘I would rather not discuss it right now’ as opposed to giving me nonsense about the menu. I am an intelligent man, Renee. I know when I am being lied to. I would prefer we kept our relationship as honest as possible. I am asking you if you would prefer that as well.”
Renee flushed and squirmed a little in her seat. He was right. She had lied to him. It was a small lie, true, but small ones could easily lead to bigger ones and she could appreciate him wanting to nip that in the bud.
“I’m sorry,” she said earnestly. “I wasn’t trying to outright deceive you. If you say I’d rather not discuss it to some people, they get offended. A little white lie seems the best way to avoid offending someone. But if you prefer total honesty then I will do my best.”
“And I will do my best to return the favor,” he said with a smile. He stroked his thumb over her knuckles. “I want you to be able to take everything I say with the knowledge that I am being honest. This way when I tell you how beautiful you are to me, you will have no choice but to accept the compliment as pure truth.”
Renee couldn’t help herself. She blushed. She wasn’t the demure type, nor the type to be easily flattered, but he made her feel like a queen. Like she was something so much more than her job. A feeling she didn’t get all that often.
“Thank you,” she said softly.
“Compliments come easy around you. I am a very lucky man that you have chosen to spend your precious time off with me.”
“That could not have been easy,” he said. He left his hand palm up in the center of the table, even after the waiter delivered a basket of warm bread to them, leaving the invitation open should she decide to hold his hand again.
“No. In fact, it was quite awful. He showed a level of desecration that none of us had ever seen in our lives. Like something out of a movie. He killed three women before we were able to stop him. Lucky for us he wasn’t trying to hide. He didn’t care about getting caught. He only focused on making his sick fantasies come to life.”
“And that was what drove him? His fantasies?”
“Yes. But he did have an agenda, which we only learned about after we caught him. Those women were practice. He was working up the nerve, honing his skills, so he could go after his childhood crush. We got to him just in time to keep him from her. Thank God. She was a mom with two kids and a husband. She had no idea the psycho even existed; no idea she was in mortal danger. Apparently he had been stalking her for years.”
“How dreadful it must be to be surrounded by so much sickness and death. I wonder that it doesn’t color your world irreparably.”
“It does color my world but I like to think I have balance.”
“I think that you must, or you would not be such a bright, energetic soul.”
She laughed. “That’s the first time I’ve ever been complimented on my soul.”
“Well it’s true. Your soul positively effervesces out of you. You have such amazing energy.”
“I certainly don’t feel that way today!” She laughed. “And I wouldn’t say I effervesce. I know some very bright and bubbly people who would put me to shame.”
“Can you not take the compliment?” he asked.
She tilted her head and looked at him, as if viewing it from his perspective. “You’re right. That was bad of me. I thank you for the compliment. I will do better next time.”
He chuckled. “Good. Because I anticipate giving you a lot of compliments in the future.”
Renee smiled at that and turned her attention to the dessert menu, trying to cover the giddy warmth that seemed to be pervading her. She liked him a lot. Liked the attention he showed her. It had been quite some time since she had felt like this. She was such a brassy woman, she did not often get the proper kind of attention a woman needed to feel pretty and appreciated in a feminine way. Oh, she was good at her job and got many compliments and even commendations, she was appreciated by her friends and loved by them quite generously, but as a woman…she wasn’t often the focus of male attention and attraction. And it wasn’t because she was unattractive or because she felt unattractive. She knew she wasn’t, but it was rare for someone to find themselves equal enough to tell her so. Someone she felt was equal enough. A construction guy whistling at her as she walked by wasn’t exactly the kind of attention she craved.
But she was coming to crave Rafe’s attention. He was her equal; he had class and style and money and came from a world quite a bit above her own. She might have felt as if she were at a disadvantage, if not for the deference with which he was treating her. He knew exactly what she was, a brass tacks cop. He accepted it. At least for as far as he understood it as an outsider. Outsiders had preconceived notions of what it meant to be a cop. Only those on the inside really knew what the policing world was like. Soldiers came close. They knew what it was like to police a country full of hostiles who hated you. That was what policing in the city was like. Only they had to do it within the letter and restrictions of the law. They had to account for every time they discharged their weapons, and it hung over them all every time one of them made a mistake or abused their position.
But she wasn’t expecting him to fully comprehend her work. That would be expecting far too much far too soon. They were still getting to know each other. Getting comfortable. Although, she had to admit he made it easy. She felt relaxed around him. As though she could be herself because that was all he wanted from her.
“What are you thinking about that has you concentrating so hard?” he asked, curling his fingers beckoningly on the tabletop. She gave in to the silent request and slid her hand back into his, laying the dessert menu aside.
“I was just concentrating on the dessert selections.”
“I see,” he said softly. “Tell me: What are the rules here?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“The rules. Is it that you are allowed to lie to me, but I must not lie to you, or are we both allowed to lie to each other…and ourselves?”
She bristled. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, moving to withdraw her hand. But he closed his fingers tight around her and kept her there.
“I mean, when I ask you what you are thinking about, rather than lie to me, you tell me ‘I would rather not discuss it right now’ as opposed to giving me nonsense about the menu. I am an intelligent man, Renee. I know when I am being lied to. I would prefer we kept our relationship as honest as possible. I am asking you if you would prefer that as well.”
Renee flushed and squirmed a little in her seat. He was right. She had lied to him. It was a small lie, true, but small ones could easily lead to bigger ones and she could appreciate him wanting to nip that in the bud.
“I’m sorry,” she said earnestly. “I wasn’t trying to outright deceive you. If you say I’d rather not discuss it to some people, they get offended. A little white lie seems the best way to avoid offending someone. But if you prefer total honesty then I will do my best.”
“And I will do my best to return the favor,” he said with a smile. He stroked his thumb over her knuckles. “I want you to be able to take everything I say with the knowledge that I am being honest. This way when I tell you how beautiful you are to me, you will have no choice but to accept the compliment as pure truth.”
Renee couldn’t help herself. She blushed. She wasn’t the demure type, nor the type to be easily flattered, but he made her feel like a queen. Like she was something so much more than her job. A feeling she didn’t get all that often.
“Thank you,” she said softly.
“Compliments come easy around you. I am a very lucky man that you have chosen to spend your precious time off with me.”
