Thirty and a Half Excuses
Page 14
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He was at the end of register number five, packing a plastic bag with canned green beans. His eyes widened when he saw I was heading straight for him. “I didn’t do anything. I swear.”
“What are you talking about? I’m here to offer you a job.”
Confusion flickered in his eyes as he looked down at the bag he was packing. “I have a job.”
“The job I’m offering is a temporary one. Planting flowers.” I’d leave the pruning and digging as a surprise. He hesitated, so I pressed on. “What about Bruce Wayne? Does he have a job?”
He twisted his mouth to the side. “Well…”
I took that as a no. “It’ll only take you a couple of days. And as soon as the job is done, I’ll pay you cash.”
The cashier, an older woman, gave me a dirty look as David put the bags in the customer’s cart. “I dunno,” he mumbled. “It sounds hot.”
“Bruce Wayne is living with you, right? If he’s not working, then how’s he going to pay his share of the rent? The first of the month is coming up, and your rent’s going to be due. I bet you that you’ll earn enough to pay a good part of your rent in the two days I need you. And think of what you could buy with the extra money.” I arched my eyebrows, hoping he caught my drift. They were both infamous potheads.
Unconvinced, he scowled. “I’ll have to talk to Bruce Wayne.”
“So Bruce Wayne does have his rent money?” I put my hand on my hip.
David groaned and stepped to the side. “What time do we start?”
I resisted the urge to grin. “Show up at the New Living Hope Revival Church at ten tomorrow morning.”
His eyes flew open. “Ten? That early?”
“Half the world’s awake by ten, and the other half is sleeping in China.”
“Wait. Ain’t that the new church with that Reverend Jonah TV dude?”
“Yep, that’s him.”
A smile spread across his face. “Any chance we’ll be on TV?”
“You just never know.” I winked. “Bring some water and sunscreen. And be ready to get dirty.”
He didn’t look too happy about that part, but I left before he could protest.
I pulled into the church parking lot at five-fifteen, surprised to find more cars there than there’d been earlier. When I entered the foyer, strains of guitar and drum music filtered through the doors to the sanctuary. So the New Living Hope Revival Church had a live band. No wonder it was stealing all the Henryetta church-goers. The younger families anyway.
When I walked into the church office, Jonah’s secretary eyed me up and down with a look of disapproval. She had salt and pepper hair and had to be in her late fifties, although her ultra-conservative long-sleeve blouse buttoned to the top and her long skirt suggested she’d walked straight out of the early twentieth century. “You’re one of the Gardner sisters, aren’t you?” Her tone confirmed she didn’t like what she saw.
I hesitated, unsure what she knew about me. “I’m Rose.”
She curled her lip, momentarily hiding the dark shadow under her nose. “He’s waiting for you. Go on in.”
Jonah’s office door was ajar and after the secretary’s less-than-friendly greeting, I tentatively pushed it open. Jonah’s mouth was pursed as he studied the computer monitor on his desk, his fingers tapping the keyboard.
“Excuse me, Reverend.”
A smile spread across his face. “Rose, so good to see you again.” He stood and walked around his desk. “And what did I tell you about calling me Reverend? It’s Jonah.”
I grimaced. “That feels disrespectful.”
He leaned his backside on his desk and crossed his arms across his chest. “And I bet you grew up on fire and brimstone, didn’t you? You had the fear of God put into you every Sunday morning whether you needed it or not.”
He had no idea.
Lifting his shoulder into a half shrug, he grinned. “That’s what makes us different than most of the churches in town. No hell fire and damnation. No condemnation here.”
My mouth parted before I quickly hid my shock, but I guess I wasn’t fast enough.
He laughed. “I can see that catches you by surprise. Most people have that reaction, and it often takes them a while to get used to us. Especially our older members.”
I had to admit his concept sounded wonderful. And also too good to be true.
“I take it you’re here for a check?”
“Um, yeah.” His unique views of church had momentarily made me forget the purpose of my visit. “I have a few options to show you first.”
“Options are always great.” He pushed away from his desk and motioned to a small round table in the corner, bordered by two chairs. “Have a seat, and I’ll take a look at what you have.”
I sat down and Jonah took the chair next to me, keeping a respectful distance. I placed the sketch on the table and slid it toward him, explaining why I’d made certain choices and giving him estimates. The first involved only installing flowers in the beds. The second included flowers in the beds and trimming the bushes and existing landscape. The third included the flowers and landscape trimming, plus pots filled with flowers spread around the grounds.
Jonah didn’t even blink at the price. “You have a good eye for design, Rose.”
“Well…thank you.”
He leaned his elbow on the table and turned to look at me. “But then again, that shouldn’t be a surprise. You are a beautiful woman, so it stands to reason you’d appreciate God’s beauty in nature as well.” I couldn’t form a coherent answer, but he didn’t seem to notice. “I’ll take the third option. I like the idea of having lots of flowers around.”
“What are you talking about? I’m here to offer you a job.”
Confusion flickered in his eyes as he looked down at the bag he was packing. “I have a job.”
“The job I’m offering is a temporary one. Planting flowers.” I’d leave the pruning and digging as a surprise. He hesitated, so I pressed on. “What about Bruce Wayne? Does he have a job?”
He twisted his mouth to the side. “Well…”
I took that as a no. “It’ll only take you a couple of days. And as soon as the job is done, I’ll pay you cash.”
The cashier, an older woman, gave me a dirty look as David put the bags in the customer’s cart. “I dunno,” he mumbled. “It sounds hot.”
“Bruce Wayne is living with you, right? If he’s not working, then how’s he going to pay his share of the rent? The first of the month is coming up, and your rent’s going to be due. I bet you that you’ll earn enough to pay a good part of your rent in the two days I need you. And think of what you could buy with the extra money.” I arched my eyebrows, hoping he caught my drift. They were both infamous potheads.
Unconvinced, he scowled. “I’ll have to talk to Bruce Wayne.”
“So Bruce Wayne does have his rent money?” I put my hand on my hip.
David groaned and stepped to the side. “What time do we start?”
I resisted the urge to grin. “Show up at the New Living Hope Revival Church at ten tomorrow morning.”
His eyes flew open. “Ten? That early?”
“Half the world’s awake by ten, and the other half is sleeping in China.”
“Wait. Ain’t that the new church with that Reverend Jonah TV dude?”
“Yep, that’s him.”
A smile spread across his face. “Any chance we’ll be on TV?”
“You just never know.” I winked. “Bring some water and sunscreen. And be ready to get dirty.”
He didn’t look too happy about that part, but I left before he could protest.
I pulled into the church parking lot at five-fifteen, surprised to find more cars there than there’d been earlier. When I entered the foyer, strains of guitar and drum music filtered through the doors to the sanctuary. So the New Living Hope Revival Church had a live band. No wonder it was stealing all the Henryetta church-goers. The younger families anyway.
When I walked into the church office, Jonah’s secretary eyed me up and down with a look of disapproval. She had salt and pepper hair and had to be in her late fifties, although her ultra-conservative long-sleeve blouse buttoned to the top and her long skirt suggested she’d walked straight out of the early twentieth century. “You’re one of the Gardner sisters, aren’t you?” Her tone confirmed she didn’t like what she saw.
I hesitated, unsure what she knew about me. “I’m Rose.”
She curled her lip, momentarily hiding the dark shadow under her nose. “He’s waiting for you. Go on in.”
Jonah’s office door was ajar and after the secretary’s less-than-friendly greeting, I tentatively pushed it open. Jonah’s mouth was pursed as he studied the computer monitor on his desk, his fingers tapping the keyboard.
“Excuse me, Reverend.”
A smile spread across his face. “Rose, so good to see you again.” He stood and walked around his desk. “And what did I tell you about calling me Reverend? It’s Jonah.”
I grimaced. “That feels disrespectful.”
He leaned his backside on his desk and crossed his arms across his chest. “And I bet you grew up on fire and brimstone, didn’t you? You had the fear of God put into you every Sunday morning whether you needed it or not.”
He had no idea.
Lifting his shoulder into a half shrug, he grinned. “That’s what makes us different than most of the churches in town. No hell fire and damnation. No condemnation here.”
My mouth parted before I quickly hid my shock, but I guess I wasn’t fast enough.
He laughed. “I can see that catches you by surprise. Most people have that reaction, and it often takes them a while to get used to us. Especially our older members.”
I had to admit his concept sounded wonderful. And also too good to be true.
“I take it you’re here for a check?”
“Um, yeah.” His unique views of church had momentarily made me forget the purpose of my visit. “I have a few options to show you first.”
“Options are always great.” He pushed away from his desk and motioned to a small round table in the corner, bordered by two chairs. “Have a seat, and I’ll take a look at what you have.”
I sat down and Jonah took the chair next to me, keeping a respectful distance. I placed the sketch on the table and slid it toward him, explaining why I’d made certain choices and giving him estimates. The first involved only installing flowers in the beds. The second included flowers in the beds and trimming the bushes and existing landscape. The third included the flowers and landscape trimming, plus pots filled with flowers spread around the grounds.
Jonah didn’t even blink at the price. “You have a good eye for design, Rose.”
“Well…thank you.”
He leaned his elbow on the table and turned to look at me. “But then again, that shouldn’t be a surprise. You are a beautiful woman, so it stands to reason you’d appreciate God’s beauty in nature as well.” I couldn’t form a coherent answer, but he didn’t seem to notice. “I’ll take the third option. I like the idea of having lots of flowers around.”
