This Regret
Page 20

Kade’s eyes are still burning a hole through me and it almost looks as if he’s fighting the urge to punch me again. He definitely gets his temper from me and hopefully his will power as well.
A sniffle comes from Phoenix’s direction, and instinctively, my hand reaches out to comfort her. Something I have done numerous times in the past when Adric wasn’t around to take care of her.
“Phoenix.” The word barely pushes past my lips, as I strain not to reach out and touch her. “Look at me.”
My hand gets pushed away from its hovering spot as Kade steps in between us. “Don’t touch her, Kellan, you’ve done enough damage. While you were only thinking of yourself, I was here picking up the pieces you left behind.”
I take a step back and rub both of my hands over my face. “I’m aware that I messed up, but I can’t take it back now and I had a good reason to leave. Trust me, Kade, it was for everyone’s own good, but explaining it would make no sense. I can’t undo the past, so would you cut me a little f**king slack.” I close my eyes and exhale. “You can hate me all you want, but what’s done is done, dammit. Can we please move on now?”
Phoenix finally makes a move, reaching for her pink tank top. She looks in my direction, her hands shaking, but it’s hard to make out if she’s looking at me or looking past me. “I need to go. I just.” Her breathing comes out in short, quick bursts as if she’s about to have a panic attack. “I just have to get out of here.” She throws her shirt on and pulls her fingers through her hair. “This cannot be happening. Do you know how many years I have waited for this moment; how many times I have dreamt of it and imagined being able to see you?” She takes a step forward. “To touch you.” Her hand reaches out, but stops right before it can touch my face. “I needed you,” she whispers. My heart sinks as a tear rolls down her red and blotchy face.
Kade flinches as he tilts his head up to the ceiling and mutters a string of curse words before wiping sweat off his forehead. “We’re leaving. I’ve had enough of this shit.”
He reaches over and grabs for Phoenix’s purse, shoving it into her arms and I can’t help but to wonder what their relationship is. He’d always had a crush on her when they were younger, but every time he would attempt to hook up with her, she would just laugh in his face and say she had another man in mind. Maybe the chase is finally over; although he would never be enough for her.
“You don’t have to leave,” I sigh, somewhat wishing they would stay even though I know it’s a horrible idea.
“No thanks, we’re good.” He gives me a dirty look and reaches for Phoenix’s arm. “Don’t even bother with coming to see us. You’re not welcome there anymore.”
The words sting, but I know he’s right. I left at the hardest time in their lives. Just vanished without so much as a goodbye. I made sure no one would be able to find me. I had to, though, it was the only option.
“You think I wanted to leave?” I slam my hands into the station in front of me before swinging my arm across it, knocking everything to the floor. “If that’s what you believe then maybe you’re right. I should just stay away.”
Phoenix flares her nostrils, looking as if she has something to say, as another tear rolls down her cheek. A tear that I wish I could just reach over and wipe away like old times.
Instead, I lower my head to my hands and lean against the station. “I’m sorry,” I say defeated.
“Bye, Kellan,” Phoenix whispers. “I just. I just have to go. I can’t stay here any longer.”
By the time I look up again, they are already out the door, walking over to a silver truck.
“Shit! Shit! Shit!” I reach for Adric’s binder and sling it across the room into the glass display. Grabbing the drawer full of ink and equipment, I throw it across the room towards Tyler’s station against the wall, causing ink to splatter. Still full of anger, I turn and punch the mirror above my station, shattering it to the floor.
Tyler walks in wide eyed and throws his hands on the top of his head. “What the hell, Kellan?”
Ignoring him, I reach for my leather jacket and run out the door for my motorcycle: my only escape.
* * *
I pull my bike into the driveway and push down the stand. Throwing my leg over the bike, I pull my helmet off and sling it down onto the blacktop. The hurt and anger that is burning through me right now is almost enough to set the world on fire and leave it in a pile of ashes.
How the hell did they just come out of nowhere and mess everything up? Things were going fine. I was getting by fine all by myself. They just had to walk through that door and kill the little bit of me that was left, leaving my world in shambles.
Reaching in my pocket, I push the button on the garage door, watching as it slowly opens, wishing with everything in me I could just turn back time and make everything right. That won't happen though, because that would make me a dreamer, hoping for the impossible.
Knowing there’s no use in going back, I get ready to step inside the garage, but am surprised when I see two shadows approaching from the side of the house. Even though I know it’s impossible that Kade and Phoenix have found me, I still can’t help that little part of me that wished it were true.
“Hey guys. . . “
My words trail off as two ugly as shit men round the corner, one holding a chained wallet in his hand and the other licking the spit from off his crusted lips. I would recognize those ass**les from anywhere. How could you miss a six foot five beast with long, black stringy hair and so many scars you can barely recognize a human face under all that shit? Not to mention his little sidekick, a short, fat f**k with his stomach hanging so low to the ground you would think his knees would get stuck in his gut when he walks. I always knew it would only be a matter of time before they found out I was back. Again, I just didn’t expect it. I guess today is just full of surprises.
“What do you two sorry f**kers want?”
I stand up straight as they both launch at me, the short fat one fighting to keep his pants up.
“Whoa now boys." I throw my arms up in surrender as they corner me inside of the garage. “I didn’t realize you missed me that bad.”
I can smell the heavy stench of Whiskey and weed that linger from their dirty clothing and I know they’re not in any kind of mood to take my crap.