This Regret
Page 25

I just stand there staring, lost in my own little world as Kellan’s eyes search the park, looking in every direction until finally they land on me. Heat explodes through my whole body and my nerves are shooting off like fireworks. I reach up and touch my chest. My heart is pounding so hard I can hear it.
Those big, beautiful eyes stay zoned in on me as he sets his helmet down on his seat and reaches to tuck a necklace into his shirt. If he’d been wearing the necklace at the shop, I didn’t take notice, but right now, with his shirt undone a few buttons, I’m noticing every last detail. The warm breeze blows through his hair and against the thin fabric of his shirt, revealing the firmness of chest. His facial hair spreads across a perfect jawline, as if he hasn’t shaven in days. He has on a studded belt, fitted against his sleek waist, just above the natural bulge in his denims. Damn, he’s even traded in his boots for a pair of Converse shoes. I missed that about him.
Holy shit, how can someone be so beautiful?
“Phoenix.”
“Phoenix.”
“Huh?” As hard as I try, I just can’t seem to pull my eyes away or pay attention to what is going on around me. Everything is a blur, everything but . . . him. That is, until Jen smacks me upside the head.
“Phoenix! What the hell? I’ve been asking you to help me with the corn. Wake up,” Jen scorns me. “What are you staring at?”
Taking a deep breath, I pull my eyes away and turn my focus to Jen, but it’s too late. She’s already leaning over my shoulder, taking in the sight I had to fight to peel my eyes away from.
She raises both brows and lets out a soft whistle. “Now that’s a nice piece of ass. Now I understand the distraction. Tall, dark, handsome and a little rough around the edges. Tsk, tsk, tsk, Phoenix, you’ve been holding out on me. I didn’t know you were into bad boys.”
Kade instantly turns his head to see what the two of us are fussing about. “What the f**k is he doing here? He needs to leave. This will not be happening today.”
I reach out and grab Kades arm right as he’s about to walk away. “No.” Oh, God please let him stay. “Maybe you should just leave it alone. You don’t want to cause a scene at your dad’s favorite event. You know how he gets about this every year.”
Something must register inside of Kade’s head, because suddenly he sits back down. His nostrils flare out and I can see him feeling for another cigarette as his eyes shoot daggers in Kellan’s direction.
He’s no longer looking at me. He’s past that point now.
We all watch as Kellan makes his way through the grass, toward Dale and Nancy, his parents. Dale and Nancy don’t seem to notice as they continue to engage in conversation with their friends. Their son is right behind them and they don’t even know, as if he’s invisible. For some unknown reason, that hurts. That’s how I felt after Adric died.
I can sense the hesitation in Kellan as he stops mid step and stands frozen in place. He reaches up and rubs his face before turning around and looking down at the ground. When his eyes look up and meet mine again, without even realizing it, I nod my head to encourage him to continue.
“What was that all about?” Kade’s eyes darken as he looks back toward his brother and starts pacing back and forth. “Have you guys been talking behind my back?”
“Um, no.” I could only wish. “Why would we be talking?” Somehow, I feel guilty for him even assuming it.
“Who is that sexy man that has everyone staring?”
Jen sounds agitated now. “Don’t keep me in the dark. Something’s about to go down. I can feel it.”
“Kellan,” Kade and I say in unison, causing Jen’s mouth to drop open.
What happens next seems to be straight out of a Lifetime movie. Kellan taps Dale on the shoulder, causing all of their friends to stop talking.
Dead-silence.
Dale and Nancy both turn around. A few seconds later, Nancy falls to her knees, arms wrapped around Kellan, holding onto his shirt, sobbing so loud everyone at the park has stopped to stare.
In this moment, there is nothing but silence across the entire park, including the animals. Even they seem to know this moment is sacred.
Dale just stands there looking stunned, as if he doesn’t know what to say. Finally, he grabs Kellan’s shoulder, squeezes it and grabs his wife’s hand to comfort her.
I feel a tear run down my cheek as I watch the long waited reunion unfold before my eyes. I don’t want to tear my eyes away from this moment for anything, afraid I’ll miss something.
Kellan grabs his mother’s face and bends down in front of her, wiping the tears from under her eyes. I can’t make out what they’re saying, but every part of me is dying to know.
“He’s only going to break my mother’s heart again.” Kade leans his head back and squeezes his eyes closed. “I just know it. Shit!”
Before I can respond, Kade is to his feet and heading over to join his family. I just stand there frozen, wanting to be a part of it, but knowing it’s not my place. This is a family moment. The feeling sucks.
Nancy finally makes it back to her feet with Kellan in tow and now has both sons in her arms. I can’t see Kellan’s face, but I can see Kade’s and I can tell that even though he’s scared, he’s happy to see his family reunited. Who wouldn’t be?
“This is the most heartwarming moment of my entire life besides giving birth.” She sniffles. “I’m crying like a baby over here. Just look how happy Nancy is. I can’t believe he’s back.”
I am looking. I haven’t taken my eyes away. I can’t. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” My voice barely comes out, but I’m mainly saying it for myself anyways. “We saw Kellan two days ago. It came as a huge shocker. Trust me, it didn’t go over so well.”
Jen snaps her attention to me. “What? Where? What happened?”
I take a step forward and run my hand over my forehead. Now I’m the one sweating. “Kade punched him in the face,” I say.
“Wow! That kid has a lot of balls. Kellan is definitely well built and way bigger than him. He’s changed a lot. He’s really, really, really hot and-“
“Okay. You can stop now, I get it,” I snap, without meaning to. Jen is my best friend and there’s no reason why I should get upset with her for being attracted to him. I have no claim to him, so why does anger course through me at the thought of someone else showing interest in him? Do I even want to evaluate why I’m getting jealous at the thought of him and another woman? Besides, she’s in a relationship, not to mention has a kid. Kellan is just an old friend that I had a crush on my entire teenage life. No big deal. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little worried about what’s going to happen now, that’s all.”