Thomas's Choice
Page 83
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“No, on the contrary. I don’t have to fight it anymore. Because I’ve got nothing left to lose.”
His jaw set into a hard line as if he were choking back an emotion so powerful it was about to overwhelm him.
“That’s not true, Thomas. You have a great life with us. Everybody at Scanguards loves you and respects you. We need you!”
Thomas expelled a bitter laugh. “A great life? That’s easy for you to say, Samson. And for all of you too,” he added and looked toward the shadows where his three colleagues stood in silence. “You all have somebody who loves you. A mate. I have nothing! You understand?
Nothing! The one person I loved betrayed me. Do you know what that feels like?”
For a second, Samson didn’t understand who Thomas was talking about. Then he ventured a guess. “Eddie?”
The pain in Thomas’s eyes confirmed that he was right.
“But you always knew that Eddie could never be yours. He’s straight.” And Thomas had always accepted that. Samson knew that for a fact. So why was this suddenly an issue?
“Leave me alone, Samson. I can’t do this any longer. I can’t live the way you want me to live.”
“Don’t do this, Thomas! That’s not you!” He pointed to the person behind Thomas. “You’re not like them. You’re not cruel. You’re not evil.”
“How would you know? I’ve never shown you what I’ve hidden all my life. You’ve only seen what I allowed you to see. All of you! You don’t know me at all!” Thomas turned.
Samson gave his friends a signal, and they rushed forward. If Thomas wasn’t coming voluntarily, they’d force him. “Come back to us!”
Thomas spun on his heels, his eyes glaring red as he focused them on Samson.
“Shit!” Samson cursed, realizing what was going to happen. He steeled himself for the assault, but there was no defense against it.
The first bolt of pain drilled into his mind, almost blinding him, the second knocked him several yards back. He landed on his ass, a rib cracking as he slammed against the curb.
Amaury, Zane, and Gabriel charged forward, but a bolt of lightning coming from Thomas’s outstretched hands stopped them.
“No farther, or you’ll all die!”
Disbelief rolled over Samson as he pulled himself up. This wasn’t Thomas. This wasn’t the gentle biker he’d known all his life. Somebody was pulling the strings behind the scenes, and as long as they couldn’t separate Thomas from his puppet master, they couldn’t pull him back from the path he’d chosen.
“We’re leaving. For now,” Samson conceded.
But they’d come back, and next time they’d bring an army. Whatever it took, they’d get Thomas back.
***
“I’m proud of you,” Kasper said, patting him on the shoulder.
Thomas shook off his hand and walked to the fireplace in the living room where a low fire was burning. Despite it, he felt a chill creep into his bones. He’d felt it ever since he’d joined Kasper. As if all warmth had left him and ice was now running in his veins.
“There was no need to be out there with me. Or did you not trust me to handle them?”
“I don’t trust them,” Kasper deflected. “And I was right. They were trying to bring you back to their side. With force, as it turns out. Are those the actions of friends?”
Inside him, the dark power churned, pushing fury up his chest. “No.”
“I protect those I love.” Kasper’s voice dropped to a husky murmur and Thomas felt him draw closer. He’d so far evaded all of Kasper’s attempts at physical intimacy, and he wasn’t in the mood for it now either.
“I want to be alone.”
Kasper sighed, stopping in his approach. “Very well. Rest for a while. There’s much to be done. And I need you well rested.”
Thomas nodded and waited for Kasper to leave the room before he pressed his forehead against the mantle and braced his hands to either side. His head ached from the fight with Samson. And his heart beat frantically. He didn’t like how he felt, how the dark power made him indifferent to the feelings and concerns of others. He felt nothing, only emptiness. Was this how his life would be now? He couldn’t live like this. The tiny traces of scruples that emerged from his heart grew and made themselves increasingly felt.
He was jolted backwards instantly and felt the dark power inside him beat against the scruples that kept invading his mind. He’d been able to defeat the evil inside him for so many years, but it appeared that the ability had deserted him. He felt under its thrall, captive and bound. Was there no way back for him? No way to regain his humanity?
His jaw set into a hard line as if he were choking back an emotion so powerful it was about to overwhelm him.
“That’s not true, Thomas. You have a great life with us. Everybody at Scanguards loves you and respects you. We need you!”
Thomas expelled a bitter laugh. “A great life? That’s easy for you to say, Samson. And for all of you too,” he added and looked toward the shadows where his three colleagues stood in silence. “You all have somebody who loves you. A mate. I have nothing! You understand?
Nothing! The one person I loved betrayed me. Do you know what that feels like?”
For a second, Samson didn’t understand who Thomas was talking about. Then he ventured a guess. “Eddie?”
The pain in Thomas’s eyes confirmed that he was right.
“But you always knew that Eddie could never be yours. He’s straight.” And Thomas had always accepted that. Samson knew that for a fact. So why was this suddenly an issue?
“Leave me alone, Samson. I can’t do this any longer. I can’t live the way you want me to live.”
“Don’t do this, Thomas! That’s not you!” He pointed to the person behind Thomas. “You’re not like them. You’re not cruel. You’re not evil.”
“How would you know? I’ve never shown you what I’ve hidden all my life. You’ve only seen what I allowed you to see. All of you! You don’t know me at all!” Thomas turned.
Samson gave his friends a signal, and they rushed forward. If Thomas wasn’t coming voluntarily, they’d force him. “Come back to us!”
Thomas spun on his heels, his eyes glaring red as he focused them on Samson.
“Shit!” Samson cursed, realizing what was going to happen. He steeled himself for the assault, but there was no defense against it.
The first bolt of pain drilled into his mind, almost blinding him, the second knocked him several yards back. He landed on his ass, a rib cracking as he slammed against the curb.
Amaury, Zane, and Gabriel charged forward, but a bolt of lightning coming from Thomas’s outstretched hands stopped them.
“No farther, or you’ll all die!”
Disbelief rolled over Samson as he pulled himself up. This wasn’t Thomas. This wasn’t the gentle biker he’d known all his life. Somebody was pulling the strings behind the scenes, and as long as they couldn’t separate Thomas from his puppet master, they couldn’t pull him back from the path he’d chosen.
“We’re leaving. For now,” Samson conceded.
But they’d come back, and next time they’d bring an army. Whatever it took, they’d get Thomas back.
***
“I’m proud of you,” Kasper said, patting him on the shoulder.
Thomas shook off his hand and walked to the fireplace in the living room where a low fire was burning. Despite it, he felt a chill creep into his bones. He’d felt it ever since he’d joined Kasper. As if all warmth had left him and ice was now running in his veins.
“There was no need to be out there with me. Or did you not trust me to handle them?”
“I don’t trust them,” Kasper deflected. “And I was right. They were trying to bring you back to their side. With force, as it turns out. Are those the actions of friends?”
Inside him, the dark power churned, pushing fury up his chest. “No.”
“I protect those I love.” Kasper’s voice dropped to a husky murmur and Thomas felt him draw closer. He’d so far evaded all of Kasper’s attempts at physical intimacy, and he wasn’t in the mood for it now either.
“I want to be alone.”
Kasper sighed, stopping in his approach. “Very well. Rest for a while. There’s much to be done. And I need you well rested.”
Thomas nodded and waited for Kasper to leave the room before he pressed his forehead against the mantle and braced his hands to either side. His head ached from the fight with Samson. And his heart beat frantically. He didn’t like how he felt, how the dark power made him indifferent to the feelings and concerns of others. He felt nothing, only emptiness. Was this how his life would be now? He couldn’t live like this. The tiny traces of scruples that emerged from his heart grew and made themselves increasingly felt.
He was jolted backwards instantly and felt the dark power inside him beat against the scruples that kept invading his mind. He’d been able to defeat the evil inside him for so many years, but it appeared that the ability had deserted him. He felt under its thrall, captive and bound. Was there no way back for him? No way to regain his humanity?
