Thoughtless
Page 23

He shrugged. "No, I told you I wouldn't. It doesn't matter much to me anyway." His voice was ice, it gave me chills. "I was just curious..."
"Well, no I'm not...and thank you, for not telling him...I guess," I whispered. My irritation at this odd conversation suddenly flared. "What happened to you the other night?" I blurted out.
He grabbed his coffee mug and grinned wickedly, his eyes boring into mine. He took a long draw without answering. His grin was answer enough. I decided I didn't want to know what, or who, had 'happened' to him. Not being able to take his weirdness anymore, I turned with my coffee to head back upstairs. I could feel his eyes following me the entire way around the corner.
I tried to forget about Kellan's oddness and lose my problems in my schoolwork. I was in one of the libraries (and it was quite possibly one of the most impressive libraries I've ever seen - very Harry Potterish) getting some studying done in the hour I had between Lit and Psychology, when a familiar looking redhead came close to my table. She frowned over at me and I frowned back, wondering why she looked so familiar. It took a second before the springy red curls registered in my head.
Candy...Kellan's over-eager fling. I cringed and quickly looked down as I realized just how much I had in common with her now. She walked rather stiffly back to a table where two of her friends were waiting. I guess Kellan had never called her; she looked pretty miffed. She pointed over at me and her friends gaped openly. I tried not to notice. I didn't see how I could be so interesting to them anyway.
Later in Psych, both of the girls she had been talking to, who I had never realized were even in that class, plopped down on either side of me. "Hi," the blonde one cheerily said. "I'm Tina. This is Genevieve." The brunette smiled warmly and waved.
"Hello," I said meekly, wishing to suddenly disappear.
"Our friend, Candy, said she saw you at school with Kellan Kyle a while ago...that true?" Tina asked excitedly, barely containing her glee.
Okay, right to the point. "Umm, yeah."
She glowed and her friend giggled. "Ohhh - you know him?"
Mentally I cringed; boy, did I ever know him. "Yes, he's my roommate."
The brunette, Genevieve smacked my shoulder. "Shut up!"
I thought Tina might have a coronary. Gathering herself, she leaned into me, like we were suddenly best friends "What was your name again?"
Not having said it before, I quietly answered, "Kiera. Kiera Allen."
"Kiera, so tell me, are you and Kellan like a...thing?" Genevieve asked suggestively.
Mentally wincing, I looked at the wall clock and cursed the professor for being late, today of all days. Without looking at her, I answered, "No. He's friends with my boyfriend." That was a mostly true statement, I guess. I didn't know what Kellan and I were...especially now, but we were most definitely not a "thing".
That seemed to make both of them even giddier, like my statement had completely removed me as an obstacle to them. It un-nerved me, and oddly made me relax a little. I guess I should have expected his pseudo-stardom to follow me, but I hadn't, and I really didn't want anyone to analyze our relationship. I couldn't even do that. The less they thought about me the better.
"Damn! He's so hot!" Genevieve exclaimed. "Tell us everything - every juicy detail!"
"There's not much to tell...he's just a regular guy." True, a very hot guy, who was an ass to me this morning, but a regular guy. I had no idea what else to tell them, and the juicy details that I did know, I most certainly was not about to share. I really would rather sit here in silence and listen to the professor, who had finally shown up and was preparing to start class, but the girls didn't seem to care if he was there or not. Not with me, a spy on their rock-god, here sitting beside them. They did lower their voices, but they ceaselessly asked me questions throughout the whole class.
At first I just ignored them. They didn't stop. Then I tried answering some of the simple questions, hoping that would satisfy them. Does he have a girlfriend? No, I don't think so. None that I had ever seen anyway. Does he play his guitar all the time? Yes. Does he sing in the shower? Yes. I blushed a little when I answered that, for some reason, and they giggled. Does he have a brother? No. I frowned a little. No, he was actually completely alone. Where do you live? Seattle. I answered that a little sarcastically. I wasn't about to give them any more than that. Does he wear boxers or briefs? I have no idea. I did know that one, but I wasn't about to let them know that I knew. Is he hot all the time? Yes. I sighed softly, thinking about how he always looked perfect every morning, while I looked like walking death...well, except for that one time. The girls giggled again. Have you seen him naked? There was no way I was going to answer that, and they giggled anyway at my silence, probably taking it for a yes...which, of course it was.
I looked back at the clock. Ugh, only halfway through class. I realized then my mistake. I had hoped a couple innocent questions would pacify them, and they would leave me alone. But now that they had me talking, they had no intention of stopping their relentless questions. They seemed to enjoy my silence at the naked question and started turning their inquiries in that direction. Is his body amazing? No response to them, but the words 'beyond amazing' came to mind. Is he a good kisser? Again no response, but in my head I replayed a few and...yes, god yes, the boy knew how to kiss. Have I 'done it' with him? Definitely no response, and I prayed for no blushing either.
I suddenly realized by the intensity of their questioning, that they weren't asking for themselves. Well, I'm sure they were curious too, but they were checking me out for Candy. Gauging what my relationship to Kellan was for her. I started wondering if they were even in this class or if they had just followed me in here.
Anger flashed through me and I studiously ignored every question they asked after that...the small ones and especially the shockingly intimate ones that made me blush. Really, no one should ask someone they just met that question. Relief washed through me as the lecture finally ended and people started leaving. I hastily gathered my stuff as they threw a few final questions my way, none of which I answered.
Excusing myself calmly, well, almost calmly, I darted for the door. As I left I heard, "Hey, are you having any study sessions at your house?" followed by more giggling. Well, that was a complete waste of a class. Those weren't the sort of human sexuality questions that I wanted to be answering.
I braced myself for more obnoxious Kellan behavior the next morning, but he wasn't there... he wasn't even home. He hadn't been home when I got back from school yesterday either. Come to think of it, he hadn't been home when Denny and I went to bed. It hurt my heart a little when I walked downstairs and he wasn't there, sipping his coffee, reading the paper and smiling at me warmly. While Denny had been away, I'd started waking up earlier than I needed to, just to see that sight every morning. That realization worried me a little, but I pushed it back. It didn't matter now. That friendship wasn't the same...it was practically gone now. I blinked back tears as I made my own coffee.
Denny woke awhile later and quickly got ready for his day of job searching. He kissed me goodbye as I got ready for my own day of school. Not that I'd expected Kellan to continue giving me a ride to school since Denny was back, or since our oddly cold conversation in the kitchen, but sadness swept through me as I waited for the bus. I missed our rides together too. Maybe his coldness was a good thing. Maybe I'd gotten too attached. Now that Denny was back, it wasn't appropriate. Of course, a lot had happened with Kellan that wasn't appropriate.
Where I had barely seen him at home, I couldn't seem to escape him at the bar. It wasn't too long into my shift that evening, when the foursome walked in and strolled to their table. Kellan ignored me and went straight to Rita to grab the guys some beers himself. That oddly offended me. I couldn't even wait on him now? Rita reached out and ruffled his hair while he leaned over the bar and smiled at her crookedly. That irritated me too, when I remembered that I had more in common with Rita now as well. Ugh, that thought actually made me a little nauseous, and I had to look away from their flirting.
I walked over to where Jenny was finishing up with a customer. Pulling my head out of my own problems, I asked her about her night out. "Hey, Jenny, I never did ask you how your date went?"
Jenny put her hands on her hips as she walked up to the bar. I sighed mentally as I realized where she was headed. I was sort of in the middle of a conversation with her, and I couldn't really do anything but follow her, but Kellan was still flirting with Rita. Seriously, what were they talking about? Oh god, is that where he's been? Are they seeing each other?
"It was a disaster." Jenny was talking about her date, and I made myself focus on her and not my last horrifying thought. Jenny walked right up to Kellan's side and I stood slightly behind her, trying hard to not gaze at his perfectly sculpted back leaning over the bar. "He was so boring, Kiera. Ugh, I wanted to take a nap right in my risotto."
Kellan turned his head slightly at the mention of my name. He flicked a glance at Jenny and then a quick one back to me. Jenny looked at him briefly. "Hey, Kellan." He nodded at her politely but made no move to acknowledge me. Jenny continued with her story. "I called it a night after that and didn't even bother with going to a club."
Jenny turned and quickly told Rita her order. Rita looked a little miffed that she no longer had Kellan's attention and filled Jenny's order grudgingly. Jenny turned to face me, while Kellan stared down at the bar, his head still cocked towards us like he was listening.
"Pretty boy, but..." Jenny pointed to her head, "not a whole lot going on upstairs."
Kellan smiled, like he was trying not to laugh at her comment. Hope sparked in me that maybe his bad mood was over, maybe he would be nice. Focusing again on Jenny, I said, "I'm sorry, Jenny..." I left it at that, not knowing what else to say. I didn't have a whole lot of experience with dating.
Grabbing her drinks from Rita, she shrugged. "No biggie...my guy is out there somewhere." She smiled and walked back to her customers.
Feeling better about Kellan after seeing his smile, I stayed at the bar. Rita got called over to a customer on the far side and I took my chance. "Kellan," I said softly to his back.
He turned around to me with a smug look on his face. My heart sank a little at his near-sneer. "Kiera." His voice was flat, all trace of good humor gone.
I suddenly didn't know what to say. I ended up pointing to the four beer bottles he had clutched in his fingers. "I could have gotten that for you."
He straightened from the bar and I suddenly felt very small as he towered over me. "I can manage...thanks." He roughly brushed passed me as he headed back to the table.
I swallowed roughly and sighed. Why did I irritate him so much? Why couldn't we still be friends? Why did I miss him so much...?
*******************
Friday morning, Denny and I were snuggling, when he sighed for the hundredth time and shifted restlessly. His job searching wasn't going well at all. Things were full and internships were rare anyways. He had gone out every day and night this week and had exhausted all of his resources. He started half-jokingly saying that he may need to get a job at McDonalds, just so we could pay our rent. Kellan had told him not to worry about it...which made me curious; he didn't seem to need the money, so why did he rent out his room?
Looking over at Denny on the couch, I thought for a micro-second that he could get a job at Pete's, but with Kellan being so difficult lately, so cold and callus, I decided it was probably not a good idea. Also, it made me highly uncomfortable, having the two of them in the same room together. Our house had been odd enough...not that Kellan had been home much. But when he was, his cold eyes watched Denny's and my every move, every touch. I didn't need that following me to work, any more than it already did anyway.
Things at the bar had been...strained. No one seemed to notice the change in his attitude towards me. I sure did, however. The guys still teased me mercilessly, only now, Kellan, more often than not, instigated it. He no longer stopped Griffin's crude stories upon my approach. In fact, he seemed to delight in them even more, and managed to ask just the right question just as I was coming to their table, so that I would have to hear every gory detail. "How many girls, Griff? No, I've never heard of that position. Wait, what did she do with the licorice again?"