Thoughtless
Page 34

Eventually he made it back down to my low back, working out more towards my hips. He shifted his weight behind me again and then pulled me closer to him. Thinking he was uncomfortable, sitting sideways on the couch with me between him, I let him adjust me however he needed to, but he only pulled my hips back into him again. Assuming he was done, I sighed and relaxed back into his chest. I was surprised at how rigid he was. I was starting to turn to face him, when his hands that were still on my hips slipped around in front to my thighs. He reached both of his hands down my legs and up my inner thighs, pulling tight against me at the same time. That was when I noticed that his breathing was not slow and regular like mine...
I spun to face him. He was sitting very tense and straight on the couch, his eyes were closed and his lips were partly open. His breath was noticeably faster. He swallowed and slowly opened his eyes to look at me. His gaze on mine made the tension immediately come back to my body; they burned with desire. His gaze smoldered as he watched me. He brought a hand up to my cheek and with the other one, pulled me tight to him.
I swallowed and made myself shake my head. "No...Kellan," I whispered, slightly alarmed at the look on his face and slightly proud of myself for uttering the word "no" at the look on his face.
He closed his eyes again and gently pushed me away from him. "I'm sorry...just, give me a minute..."
I moved to the other end of the couch and watched him, wondering what in the world I had done. He pulled his legs up, locking his elbows around them and taking three calming breaths. Then he slowly opened his eyes to me again. He still looked odd, but more controlled. He smiled, just a little.
"Sorry...I am trying. But, maybe next time, you could not...uh, make those noises?"
I blushed deeply and looked away, making him chuckle. I hadn't realized... Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe there was no such thing as innocent flirting.
Chapter 12
Innocent
I started waking earlier and earlier. I usually was awake before Denny now, and considering how late I went to bed at night, that also usually meant I needed a nap in the afternoon after school, but I couldn't seem to help myself. The thought of Kellan awake and downstairs all alone seemed to be a natural alarm clock for me. That worried me a little, but the allure of his warms arms was too strong. I was too addicted. I couldn't stop myself from rushing downstairs to see him every morning.
One morning, while we were waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, his arms slipped around my waist, my hands folded over his, my back resting against his chest, and my head resting on his shoulder, completely relaxed in his arms, I asked him a familiar question. "If I ask you something, will you promise to not get mad?"
I spun in his arms to face him and placed my hands on his chest. He chuckled and nodded, smiling peacefully at me. I paused, wondering if I really wanted to know the answer to my question. "Will it bother you if Denny and I sleep together?"
His face paled but he kept his smile. "You sleep with him every night."
I jabbed him lightly in the ribs. "You know what I mean," I said, blushing.
"Will it bother me, if you have sex with your boyfriend?" he asked softly.
I blushed again and nodded. He smiled softly but said nothing. "Just answer the question." I smiled and raised an eyebrow at using his phrase against him.
He laughed softly and looked away. Sighing, he finally answered. "Yes, yes it will bother me...but, I understand." He turned to look at me again. "You're not mine," he said wistfully.
Sudden emotion swept through me. I felt a surge of sympathy for him and I desperately wanted to hold him tight, to stroke his cheek and kiss his lips. I pulled away from his embrace and he frowned, trying to keep me close to him. "Just a minute... " I whispered.
He let go and looked at me confused. "I'm fine, Kiera."
I looked at him sadly. "I need a minute, Kellan."
"Oh..." he said softly, looking surprised.
I had to stay away from him for quite a while... the urge to kiss him was so strong. That worried me. We were staring at each other across the kitchen, leaning on our respective counters and sipping on our coffees, when I heard the shower start running. I glanced up to where the bathroom was at and then back down to Kellan. He had an odd look on his face. I couldn't even begin to place it. Eventually, I finished my coffee and putting my hand across his arm, I set down my mug. He looked down at me when I touched him and my breath caught at the look in his eye. Forcing it back, I gave him a quick squeeze and then made my way back upstairs to where Denny was getting ready for work.
Denny smiled when he came back from his shower to find me sitting in bed. "Hey, good morning," he said warmly as he kissed my cheek.
I smiled softly, but I was still thinking about the conversation Kellan and I had just had downstairs. Denny sat down next to me, still just wrapped in a towel. He looked over at me with a goofy grin. That made my smile wider. Then he frowned and I did too. "I'm probably going to be late tonight."
My heart dropped a little. "Oh...why?"
He sighed and stood back up to get dressed. He tossed his towel on the bed and I watched him with a small smile on my lips. Noticing my attention, he sighed again. "I wish I had more time with you," he said wistfully. I looked away and bit my lip while he laughed softly. "Max. He's got me finishing this project for him that apparently his uncle wanted today, but he was too busy with...um...paid escorts, over the weekend to do it himself."
My mouth dropped open as I turned back to look at him. He had his boxers on and was pulling up some black slacks. He looked at me wryly and shook his head. "I guess I should be grateful we got the weekend together and he didn't just call me in to finish it then." He sighed and shook his head again as he buttoned his pants.
Tiny guilt washed through me at what his job now entailed and I swallowed it back. He noticed my expression and forced a smile on his face as he grabbed a shirt from the dresser. "I'm not trying to complain, Kiera. I'm sorry."
He was sorry. I swallowed more guilt back. "No...you have a right to complain. Max is an ass."
He laughed and slipped on his shirt. Walking over to him, I stopped his hands from buttoning it. He smiled warmly at me as I finished with the buttons for him. When I was done, I tucked his shirt in and he smiled even wider. "I love you so much for putting up with your crappy job to stay here with me," I said to him when I was finished.
He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I would put up with much worse to stay here with you."
I knew he meant those words as endearing, but they pierced my heart. If he only knew. I was quiet while he finished dressing. I was quiet when I kissed him goodbye. I was quiet when I decided to forgo cuddling on the couch with Kellan, to get ready for school early.
The hot water cleared my head and my swirling emotions washed down the drain with the soapy water. I picked out my favorite clingy, long-sleeved blouse and khaki cargos and took time to curl my already wavy hair. I wasn't sure why...maybe because I had the time. Maybe because looking better had a way of making you feel better. Either way, after my relaxing shower and looking my best, which was probably just slightly past passable really, I felt okay again.
And I was rewarded with a dazzling smile from Kellan as I made my way downstairs. That made my day a little. He seemed to be fine from our earlier conversation as well. He grabbed my hand and my bag as he led me to his car. He begged me to let him walk me to class, so I conceded. Really, it wasn't necessary, but who was I to deny a gorgeous begging boy? I suppose it was worth another potential quiz session to walk with him through the halls.
He lightly held my fingers as he walked me to Econ and we talked about my parents and the last reluctant phone call I had placed with them. They weren't too happy that Denny was so busy and I was alone so much. I made the mistake of telling them that Kellan was home a lot, which had started the 'doesn't he have a job' conversation, which led to the 'he's in a band' conversation, which turned into the 'I'm really not comfortable with you living with a rock star' conversation. Kellan was laughing pretty hard by the time he opened the door to my classroom. The sound of his laugh stayed with me all throughout that class.
Afterwards, Kellan met me in the hall with an extra large espresso in his hand for me. I immediately threw my arms around his neck, careful to not spill my precious drink. "Ahhh...coffee! I love you!"
I froze after I realized what I'd just said, but he started laughing, and was smiling warmly at me when I pulled away. "What is it about me and coffee that drives you over the edge?" he asked playfully, biting his lip and raising his eyebrows suggestively.
I blushed and smacked his shoulder, knowing exactly what incident in a certain coffee stand that he was referring to. I grabbed my cup from his hand and stormed off down the hall. He easily caught up to me, still chuckling.
I glared over at him and he laughed even harder. "Oh, come on...that was kind of funny?"
I rolled my eyes. "You're a little twisted."
He smirked. "You have no idea..."
I raised my eyebrow at that and he laughed again until I finally joined in with him. He grabbed my hand and interlaced our fingers as we left the building and walked casually to his car. I tried to ignore the stares he drew around us; none of these people knew Denny...right?
Denny did work late that night and Kellan had a show at a small bar I'd never heard of, so I was alone for the evening and took advantage of the fact that I had the night off from Pete's by doing something I very rarely got to do - I went to bed early.
The next morning I woke up early, feeling rather refreshed. I was surprisingly alone in the kitchen, filling my coffee cup with creamer, and idly wondering when Kellan was going to saunter into the kitchen and slip his arms around me. It was so unusual for me to beat him downstairs and in my anticipation I could practically already smell him. Lost in warm thoughts, suddenly arms did slip around me, and I snuggled back into his embrace while stirring my coffee.
"There you are Ke-"
I immediately froze my words when lips started trailing up my neck - warm, soft lips, followed by a flick of a warm, soft tongue, and occasionally brushing against my sensitive skin, the light hair of his jaw line. My heart raced. I had been about to say Kellan's name and it wasn't Kellan embracing me.
My heart leapt into my throat, effectively cutting off all speech. Denny murmured good morning into my neck, apparently not catching my nearly disastrous mistake. My breath sped in a nervous panic as his lips trailed up my jaw. I couldn't calm down...that had been so close.
His lips ran up to my ear and sucked on an earlobe. "I missed you," he said huskily, as he pulled me tight to him. "Our bed was cold without you." His accent curled delightfully around the words.
My breath started to speed for another reason and I turned around in his arms to kiss him. His mouth eagerly met mine and I forced myself to push all thoughts of Kellan to the very back of my mind; it was surprisingly hard to do.
Abruptly Denny's lips stopped moving and sighing, he pulled away from me. Guilt flashed through me and again panic clenched my throat. I tried to keep my face from betraying any of my inner turmoil as he ran a few fingers down my cheek. "I wish I could stay." He sighed heavily. "Max needs me to come in early today. I have to go get ready."
Suddenly he gave me my favorite goofy grin and I instantly started relaxing. He playfully grabbed my hand and led me from the kitchen, back up the stairs. Laughing softly as he held both of my hands and pulled me into the bathroom, I asked, "I thought you had to get ready. What exactly are we doing?"
Chuckling, he shut the bathroom door. "I am going to get ready." He moved past me to turn on the water for the shower. "And you're going to help me." He winked adorably at me.
"Oh really?" I laughed, as I started to sit on the toilet to watch him.
He grabbed me just as I was sitting down, pulling me back up. "Oh yes," he said suggestively, with a glint in his eye that I knew very well.
"Oh," I said, suddenly understanding what he wanted. He made himself even clearer the next instant, by stripping off my tank top. I laughed again as he kissed my neck and started pulling down my pants, underwear and all.