Instinctively she glanced at the camera and saw he was perfectly framed. She pushed the button to get a test shot.
“Maya?”
His impatient voice snapped her back to the present.
“What? Oh.” She released the camera already sitting on the tripod. “It never crossed my mind.”
“Asking me to help? Do you really think I’m that much of a jerk?” He swore. “When did I become the bad guy?”
“No, you’re not. I’m just used to handling this sort of thing on my own. It comes with my job.” She studied him. “Del, why are you mad about this?”
He waved to the setup. “This says you think I’m showing up to do my part and nothing else.”
She crossed to him. He’d dressed as she’d requested, and the faded blue shirt looked as good as she’d hoped. The color was perfect on him, and the camera was going to have a mini meltdown from all the sex appeal. Worse, the camera might not be alone in its reaction.
But first, she had to figure out what was going on. She stopped directly in front of him and put her hands on her hips.
“I don’t think so,” she said quietly. “You’re not mad at me. You’re right. I should have mentioned when I was getting here. I genuinely didn’t think about it. Next time I’ll offer to let you fetch and carry. I promise. So tell me what happened?”
She knew he hadn’t found out about his mother. That would have scared him, not made him furious.
He ran his hand through his hair, rumpling it delightfully. She so was not going to comb it back into place before filming.
Del sighed. “You’re right. This is only part of what’s wrong.”
She lowered her arms to her side and waited for him to continue.
He sucked in a breath. “It’s Aidan. He’s pissed. Seriously pissed.”
“At you?”
He nodded. “For leaving ten years ago. I honest to God never thought about it from his perspective, but he’s right. I took off and all of it got dumped on him. The business, the family. There was no warning. He got stuck because I took off.”
“And you got stuck before him.”
He shook his head. “No, I didn’t.”
“You did. You grew up knowing you had to take care of everything. You had to be there for your mom and your brothers. No one asked you if that was what you wanted. There wasn’t a discussion.”
“Why are you taking my side?”
She gave him a slight smile. “You’re the Mitchell brother I like best. You know I’m right. You were expected to take care of everything. What if you wanted something different? No one asked.”
“And I took off, leaving Aidan to pick up the pieces.” He swore again. “I’m a selfish bastard.”
Something prickled her skin. While the attraction was still there, she had a feeling that wasn’t the cause. It took her a second to recognize what it was. Guilt.
“It’s not your fault,” she told him, wondering how much he was going to hate her when he realized the truth. “It’s mine.”
“How do you figure?”
“I’m the reason you left.”
His dark gaze settled on her face. “I wondered if we’d get to that.”
“We had to,” she whispered. “It was inevitable.”
One corner of his mouth turned up. “I’d love to dump this on you, but I was a big boy. I made my choices.”
“No, you reacted to mine. To me breaking up with you.” She reached for him and rested her fingers on his forearm. “Del, I promised to marry you. We were going to run off together.”
“Yeah. So either way I was leaving. Why didn’t I see that before?”
She shook his arm. “That’s not the point. I’m trying to apologize here. If you could listen?”
“No apology required. You changed your mind. You’re allowed. I wish you’d been honest with me— You could have told me you had concerns. But you didn’t. It’s not like I was the love of your life.”
She listened for bitterness and heard only resignation. Which made her feel awful. Why did he have to be so accepting? Anger and resentment would be a lot easier to deal with.
So here it was. Her moment to come clean.
“I’m sorry,” she told him. “About what happened. About what I said. I know it’s too late and that hearing it now doesn’t change anything, but I want you to know, I lied.”
His gaze sharpened. “About?”
She glanced down at the wild grass and flowers below, then forced herself to stare directly into his dark eyes. “I didn’t have concerns. Not the way you think. It was... I was terrified. I loved you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. You were my entire world. But I couldn’t trust you.”
He started to pull back, but she held on to his arm. “It’s not personal,” she told him. “Watching my mom and how she was with men. The things she said. I was so afraid that no one could love me. At the same time I believed you did, and that was more than I could handle. I guess the truth isn’t that I didn’t trust you, I didn’t trust myself.”
She dropped his arm and wanted to turn away. But this apology had been ten years in the making. She had to see it through to the end.
“You were my first love and my first time and when you asked me to marry you, I was thrilled. And so frightened. What if it didn’t work out? I knew having you leave would destroy me. Plus, I wanted to go to college and have a career. What if I asked for that and you said no? So in my eighteen-year-old logic, I decided I had to end things in such a way that you wouldn’t try to talk me into staying.”
“Maya?”
His impatient voice snapped her back to the present.
“What? Oh.” She released the camera already sitting on the tripod. “It never crossed my mind.”
“Asking me to help? Do you really think I’m that much of a jerk?” He swore. “When did I become the bad guy?”
“No, you’re not. I’m just used to handling this sort of thing on my own. It comes with my job.” She studied him. “Del, why are you mad about this?”
He waved to the setup. “This says you think I’m showing up to do my part and nothing else.”
She crossed to him. He’d dressed as she’d requested, and the faded blue shirt looked as good as she’d hoped. The color was perfect on him, and the camera was going to have a mini meltdown from all the sex appeal. Worse, the camera might not be alone in its reaction.
But first, she had to figure out what was going on. She stopped directly in front of him and put her hands on her hips.
“I don’t think so,” she said quietly. “You’re not mad at me. You’re right. I should have mentioned when I was getting here. I genuinely didn’t think about it. Next time I’ll offer to let you fetch and carry. I promise. So tell me what happened?”
She knew he hadn’t found out about his mother. That would have scared him, not made him furious.
He ran his hand through his hair, rumpling it delightfully. She so was not going to comb it back into place before filming.
Del sighed. “You’re right. This is only part of what’s wrong.”
She lowered her arms to her side and waited for him to continue.
He sucked in a breath. “It’s Aidan. He’s pissed. Seriously pissed.”
“At you?”
He nodded. “For leaving ten years ago. I honest to God never thought about it from his perspective, but he’s right. I took off and all of it got dumped on him. The business, the family. There was no warning. He got stuck because I took off.”
“And you got stuck before him.”
He shook his head. “No, I didn’t.”
“You did. You grew up knowing you had to take care of everything. You had to be there for your mom and your brothers. No one asked you if that was what you wanted. There wasn’t a discussion.”
“Why are you taking my side?”
She gave him a slight smile. “You’re the Mitchell brother I like best. You know I’m right. You were expected to take care of everything. What if you wanted something different? No one asked.”
“And I took off, leaving Aidan to pick up the pieces.” He swore again. “I’m a selfish bastard.”
Something prickled her skin. While the attraction was still there, she had a feeling that wasn’t the cause. It took her a second to recognize what it was. Guilt.
“It’s not your fault,” she told him, wondering how much he was going to hate her when he realized the truth. “It’s mine.”
“How do you figure?”
“I’m the reason you left.”
His dark gaze settled on her face. “I wondered if we’d get to that.”
“We had to,” she whispered. “It was inevitable.”
One corner of his mouth turned up. “I’d love to dump this on you, but I was a big boy. I made my choices.”
“No, you reacted to mine. To me breaking up with you.” She reached for him and rested her fingers on his forearm. “Del, I promised to marry you. We were going to run off together.”
“Yeah. So either way I was leaving. Why didn’t I see that before?”
She shook his arm. “That’s not the point. I’m trying to apologize here. If you could listen?”
“No apology required. You changed your mind. You’re allowed. I wish you’d been honest with me— You could have told me you had concerns. But you didn’t. It’s not like I was the love of your life.”
She listened for bitterness and heard only resignation. Which made her feel awful. Why did he have to be so accepting? Anger and resentment would be a lot easier to deal with.
So here it was. Her moment to come clean.
“I’m sorry,” she told him. “About what happened. About what I said. I know it’s too late and that hearing it now doesn’t change anything, but I want you to know, I lied.”
His gaze sharpened. “About?”
She glanced down at the wild grass and flowers below, then forced herself to stare directly into his dark eyes. “I didn’t have concerns. Not the way you think. It was... I was terrified. I loved you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. You were my entire world. But I couldn’t trust you.”
He started to pull back, but she held on to his arm. “It’s not personal,” she told him. “Watching my mom and how she was with men. The things she said. I was so afraid that no one could love me. At the same time I believed you did, and that was more than I could handle. I guess the truth isn’t that I didn’t trust you, I didn’t trust myself.”
She dropped his arm and wanted to turn away. But this apology had been ten years in the making. She had to see it through to the end.
“You were my first love and my first time and when you asked me to marry you, I was thrilled. And so frightened. What if it didn’t work out? I knew having you leave would destroy me. Plus, I wanted to go to college and have a career. What if I asked for that and you said no? So in my eighteen-year-old logic, I decided I had to end things in such a way that you wouldn’t try to talk me into staying.”
